What is the most disgusting thing you have experienced?

I was driving back to Reading from London earlier this year after a particularly heavy night on the sauce the night before and a rather massive greasy spoon fry up.

I felt bad on the way back but just a headache really and tummy rumbles. I must have been about 10 miles away when I felt the first urge that I might have to 'go'. This got worse quite rapidly but I thought I would make it back. About half a mile from my house things got bad. Stomach cramps were coming every 30 seconds but I still thought I would make it back.

I was wrong. It came suddenly and there was a lot. I have to drive the last half a mile in a VERY bad place. :o

I got home and jumped out of the car. It had also come out of the top of my jeans and onto my seat. I limped round to the garden and stripped naked (nobody can see in) and started hosing myself and my clothes down. This is bad you may thing? Wrong.

Whilst trying to hose everything into a state where I would put in in the machine, I had this sudden urge to go again. For some bizarrre reason, I decided to run inside and go in the correct manner, on the toilet. So I quickly unlock the back door and run inside and into the toilet. I managed to shut the door at least, but that was it. Never made the pan but made the floor, walls and a little bit even made it onto the ceiling.

As you can imagine, the smell was absolutely horrific (numerous Jagerbombs in the mix the night before), so whilst standing there naked, with poo everywhere, I started throwing up as well. I actually thought I was going to collapse in a pile of my own poo and vomit.

Only my GF knows this, and now you lot. :D
 
Two that spring to mind happened round the same time when I was about 18.

1) I was an Apprentice and one of the adult workers bought his dog in, put some gloves on and proceeded to masturbate his dog while pointing at it saying "Look at his face, look at his face, he's loving it". Wasn't exactly my thoughts but about a week later this bloke got hold of one of the other Apprentices who was a bit mouthy and with help got him hoisted up on a hook and his overall bottoms locked in two vices.
He then proceeded to get the lads member out, put his gloves on and said exactly the same sentence he'd said about his dog.

2) I was at a party and this lad kept going around the tables and finishing peoples pints off so I thought I'd teach him a lesson.
When he'd gone to the bog I pee'd into a half pint glass half filling it and placed it down.
On cue he picked the glass up, gulped it down in one and he never caught on he'd just drank pee.

I've spent my life with Bikers and especially during the 70s was the worst period for disgusting things.
 
bakes0310 said:
I work in a warehouse and this guy opposite me was feeling really quezy. Next minute he farts a sharp burst. And poo fired out the top of his hi-viz on the back of his neck.

Heres one i got a question for, about 3 years ago i had real bad flu and needed to poo every 10-15 mins for about 4 days. Eventually my poo was a very dark green, why is that?
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Green poo is basically because your digestive system was in overdrive, bile doesn't have enough time to change it brown.
 
standing on a snail.... ewwwwww i dont know anything worse, or maybe having a bird do a poo in your mouth!
 
None of you have experienced true disgust until you've had to do a hover-poo at the long-drop toilets at Leeds fest. Mind-bogglingly bad.
 
I think I might have a contender.

One of my friends is a doctor and not long after he had become a fully fledged doctor a lady came in who was clearly a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. She was complaining of fits and a temperature and following the usual tests they determined that she had a severe infection but despite anti-biotics she was still getting worse. This means that the source of the infection is likely to still be present in the body.

Between fits they managed to slowly but surely get out of her that kept pidgeons and her favourite pidgeon had died. In an effort to keep the pidgeon warm she had "stored" the pidgeon IN herself, natures pocket.

Anyway, being a proper doctor now there was no way he was doing the deed so they fetch the youngest intern to play the last flight of the pheonix... And so they pulled a rotting fettered bird carcass from this woman's stinking infected vagina.

The end.

B@
 
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Ground floor flat, opened my front door one morning to find 2 oozing condoms that my neighbour had thrown out his bathroom window. Quite where he hoped they would go I'm not sure, but I ended up having to dispose of them. Think even a giant turd would have been less disgusting.

*EDIT* Jesus, I think previous post just won the thread.
 
One of my cats had a really nasty miscarriage. I'm not really sure how to go into much more detail without getting banned. Uh... first imagine a dead kitten. Now imagine shoving a ball of socks through a tube. And the smell.
 
B@Th*nG said:
I think I might have a contender.

One of my friends is a doctor and not long after he had become a fully fledged doctor a lady came in who was clearly a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. She was complaining of fits and a temperature and following the usual tests they determined that she had a severe infection but despite anti-biotics she was still getting worse. This means that the source of the infection is likely to still be present in the body.

Between fits they managed to slowly but surely get out of her that kept pidgeons and her favourite pidgeon had died. In an effort to keep the pidgeon warm she had "stored" the pidgeon IN herself, natures pocket.

Anyway, being a proper doctor now there was no way he was doing the deed so they fetch the youngest intern to play the last flight of the pheonix... And so they pulled a rotting fettered bird carcass from this woman's stinking infected vagina.

The end.

B@
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i don't understand what she done wrong, seems quite a reasonable sane thing to do...
 
One evening my friends and I sat in mine having a few quiet drinks.. We were having a good time and the vodka was flowing.
By 2am they had left and I'd drank almost a bottle of vodka.

The next morning I made the trip into uni on the train (was too drunk to drive). The whole journey I was feeling extremely fragile, ready to heave at any given moment. I held it down for the 20 minute ride.
As we approached my station, I stumbled to the exit, stood hanging onto the bars - a sorry state.
The train pulled up. Just as the brakes made the final grind bringing the locomotive to a halt, my stomach lurched. I spewed a fantastic fountain of vomit all over the smartly dressed business woman sitting in the fold out chair in front of me.

She was covered, head to toe. I had tried to direct it elsewhere but it just served to radiate residual spray over the nearby passengers waiting to alight.

The doors opened. I ran.
Spewed a good 3 times en route from the train station to uni too. Felt extremely sorry for the lady, there's no doubt in my mind that she'd have to go home, vomit sodden and change. Didn't really know what to do.
 
I've had quite a tons but now I feel on the spot and can't remember anything :) A few were....

A friend on St Paddy's day insisted we couldn't have any liquids that were not alcoholic and filled my cereal bowl with beer (which by the way I can't stand the taste of) - Beer and special K is a disgusting combo!

Waking up hungover one morning so dehydrated I felt like a raisin. Reaching half blind for the glass of water I suspected would be just by my bed on the floor and taking a big swig - it was a glass fullllll of cigarette butts. Eurgh.

My housemate at uni got hammered and told me that she and her girlfriend used to pee in the bath. As in, they'd both be IN the bath - one would pee and then the other would pee to get them back. But they didnt care and would just sit there soaking in each others' pee. Needless to say, I'm a shower person for life.
 
Whoah, this thread reminded me of one of my earliest memories!

I must have been 3 or 4 years old, we were on holiday somewhere (I can't remember where, it was the UK and the holiday house was on the edge of some woods). Me and my dad were walking in the wood and there was a big fresh cow pat in the middle of the path. It had a greenish hue, and it was one of those large wet ones which are only just held together by surface tension. Dad says "careful not to stand in it" so in my wisdom I decide to jump over it.
I take a run up, trip, and land literally face first in it. I remember watching it rise up to meet me as I fell, and then a splat, and then having to walk back to the house to be hosed down.

Thanks for reminding me.
 
Reginald said:
My housemate at uni got hammered and told me that she and her girlfriend used to pee in the bath. As in, they'd both be IN the bath - one would pee and then the other would pee to get them back. But they didnt care and would just sit there soaking in each others' pee. Needless to say, I'm a shower person for life.
Click to expand...

Was she hot?
 
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