I beg to differ, it would seem that he has learnt that you weren't serious because it sounds to me like he got a girl up the duff and came running home.
Is he a stoner by any chance?
What more can we do ?
- Thread starter teulk
- Start date
I beg to differ, it would seem that he has learnt that you weren't serious because it sounds to me like he got a girl up the duff and came running home.
Is he a stoner by any chance?
Sounds like it's ultimatum time, either tell him to get into a full time training course (which you'll check he's going to) or for him to get a full time job (doing anything).
Otherwise get him on the housing list with the council and tell him he's got X months before you boot him out.
Otherwise get him on the housing list with the council and tell him he's got X months before you boot him out.
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Oct 2007
- Posts
- 3,206
- Location
- ..
sounds very much like your son had depression, He has a lot on his plate for an 18yr old lad. No job prospects, baby on the way and all the hassle he is getting from you because of it ( he does deserve the hassle tbh). If he were my son I would sit him down and offer all the help I could to get him back on track. I think the first thing I would do would be to get him in contact with a career's advisor and try to get him some goals to head for. Also stipulate to him how important it is to get his life on track for the sake of his child. Oh and get rid of his xbox.
I have to say I dont really agree with this, whats wrong with getting any work and then continuing to look for what you actually want, better to earn something than nothing
trouble is, when your a teenager you still tend to think you are youre parents responsibility, and tell them if they wanted kids they should have been prepared to pay for them forever, but life isnt like that and the world doesnt owe you a living, he should be out every day going round the industrial estates asking for application forms, down the agencies signing up with them and every other method of job seeking available, no job is going to land in his lap, I know its demoralising, but better get used to it now, Ive had to do this a few times when I was younger
Personally i would go in his room and take all his games and xbox and sell them down CEX and if he didnt like it he can always move out, my house, my rules, he sounds like a shining example of the future of Britain, no (proper) job, no aspirations, and already spawning the next generation ready to learn this way of life, you need to be real harsh on him, he will thank you for it in the end
Permabanned
- Joined
- 3 Jul 2008
- Posts
- 3,762
- Location
- My fabulous ship
it does sound like he is addicted to the internet/console.
If I was you:
1. kick out between 9 and 5
2. permanently remove the xbox
it sounds like he's stuck in a rut (what a crap saying) so he needs the essentials to make that rut work removed.
If I was you:
1. kick out between 9 and 5
2. permanently remove the xbox
it sounds like he's stuck in a rut (what a crap saying) so he needs the essentials to make that rut work removed.
Your post started off so normal - young adult who thinks everything should be free and should be able to do whatever he wants. Normal, but annoying.
But... he has a baby on the way? Only works two days a week? Plays xbox all day? Won't pay £20 rent? Christ - your son has some serious issues. I'm not sure what you could do other than give him a bloody good hiding.
But... he has a baby on the way? Only works two days a week? Plays xbox all day? Won't pay £20 rent? Christ - your son has some serious issues. I'm not sure what you could do other than give him a bloody good hiding.
£130/month for 8 hours/week?
That's around £3.75/hour, I didn't realise minimum wage was that low for 18 y/o, sure he's not telling porkies about that?
Can't say much else, except that I'd be laughing if I'd only had to pay £20/month to live
That's around £3.75/hour, I didn't realise minimum wage was that low for 18 y/o, sure he's not telling porkies about that?
Can't say much else, except that I'd be laughing if I'd only had to pay £20/month to live
This would be a better idea than just kicking him out the door... a contract even wouldn't be a bad idea.
I pay 20% of my salary atm to my parents for living under their roof even tho they are well off and don't actually care if I pay or not.
I think that is fair - currently I work full-time but at home with parents (Saving for a masters degree) and I pay the measly £120 - I offered to pay more but my parents said as I was saving for my masters that was a good amount - obviously would be more if I decided not to go uni.
Your son does need a bit of a kick in the arse to get him moving!
Rich
Your son does need a bit of a kick in the arse to get him moving!
Rich
Speechless, i had a part time job at 16 working 8 hours a week... wasn't asked to pay board, but then went full time and was asked to pay £100 a month, wasn't complaining. Got a better paid job so i said i'd put it up to £150 a month myself...
If i was like your kid, i wouldn't be living here now, that's for sure. I'd have had my dad's foot up my rear a long time ago
If i was like your kid, i wouldn't be living here now, that's for sure. I'd have had my dad's foot up my rear a long time ago
As you said, it is not really about the money, it's about the fact that he's not making any effort to get a job that might possibly support him and his family.
Time to join the real world and take some responsibility for being so stupid as to father a child when he still cant wipe his own bum!
You need to impress on him that what he is doing is wrong and that you are not willing to subsidise him any longer but that if he makes a real effort to turn his life around, you will help, if not ...... up to you to decide.
Good luck.
Time to join the real world and take some responsibility for being so stupid as to father a child when he still cant wipe his own bum!
You need to impress on him that what he is doing is wrong and that you are not willing to subsidise him any longer but that if he makes a real effort to turn his life around, you will help, if not ...... up to you to decide.
Good luck.
It took a long time for my two sons’s to finally realise that they had to pay board, we sat them down showed them the bill’s for a full year and worked it out what they should pay weekly. It worked out at £65, this includes food, rent, electric, gas, TV license, Sky TV, Talk and internet both have a PC which they got from me due to upgrading + TV again which they got from us. LOL they get waited on hand and foot by their mam, she also cleans their rooms up, and of course wash’s their cloths, buys them the odd bit of clothing or training shoe’s, etc. All for £65 a week, after working it all out we said could you manage a flat on your own? After seeing the bills for a full year and finally the penny dropped the answer was no.
Wow - you seriously need to kick him into shape.
As he is acting like a child treat him like one, confiscate his x-box, arrange some work through friends and make him attend it, also make it clear that he is to continue working there unless he can find something alternative that is a full time job and that walking out isnt an option and you will be more than dissapointed if he does and he will be out on his ear if he does.
Is he still with the mother?? Where are they going to live, with or without her how is he going to support his baby, time to sit down and patronise him to death abotu responsibilities and also throw in some safe sex advice before baby no 2 is on the way - he seriously needs to grow up and take responsibility.
As he is acting like a child treat him like one, confiscate his x-box, arrange some work through friends and make him attend it, also make it clear that he is to continue working there unless he can find something alternative that is a full time job and that walking out isnt an option and you will be more than dissapointed if he does and he will be out on his ear if he does.
Is he still with the mother?? Where are they going to live, with or without her how is he going to support his baby, time to sit down and patronise him to death abotu responsibilities and also throw in some safe sex advice before baby no 2 is on the way - he seriously needs to grow up and take responsibility.
Soldato
- Joined
- 7 Jan 2007
- Posts
- 10,607
- Location
- Sussex, UK
Why was the baby not aborted? Is he still with the mother? I assume she is going it alone and being a single mum. He can't be with her if he is geeking it up on xbox for 12 hours a day.
Best thing you can do is dump him inside the Armed Forces Careers Office.
Best thing you can do is dump him inside the Armed Forces Careers Office.
He's 18 and you told him he can stay at home so long as he pays rent, you gave him instructions which included a clause that his rent is variable based on his pay and you're surprised that he wants to get away with the bare minimum?
Like that other guy said it could be worse, you kicked him out once and he came back with a baby on the way. i say kick him out again and start taking bets with your mates on what he comes back with next, it should cover the costs of putting a roof over his head and provide endless entertainment for you and your mates.
2/1 depression
4/2 drug problem
6/3 another kid
8/4 criminal record
Or just take all his stuff and let him know he can stay but all he gets is a roof and food that he has to pay for himself, no cleaning, washing, tidying, internet, sky, phone, radio etc dont leave him alone in the house with all this stuff to occupy himself with. Maybe you need to give up some luxuries to try and fix whatever the hell is wrong with him, get a doctor involved or something at least then you know you tried.
Like that other guy said it could be worse, you kicked him out once and he came back with a baby on the way. i say kick him out again and start taking bets with your mates on what he comes back with next, it should cover the costs of putting a roof over his head and provide endless entertainment for you and your mates.
2/1 depression
4/2 drug problem
6/3 another kid
8/4 criminal record
Or just take all his stuff and let him know he can stay but all he gets is a roof and food that he has to pay for himself, no cleaning, washing, tidying, internet, sky, phone, radio etc dont leave him alone in the house with all this stuff to occupy himself with. Maybe you need to give up some luxuries to try and fix whatever the hell is wrong with him, get a doctor involved or something at least then you know you tried.