He has lived with his parents his whole life, and he is 45??
I understand your situation, but has he really lived there for the whole 45 years?
What to do about my family problem?
- Thread starter Riley1982
- Start date
He has lived with his parents his whole life, and he is 45??
I understand your situation, but has he really lived there for the whole 45 years?
Soldato
Sounds like my sister. (Apart from the not leaving home bit).
She does have her own place, paid for by the taxpayer as she's "mentally ill", caused by constant cannabis use since she was 16. My mum (77) and dad (92) get taken for mugs by her, they look after her kids 4-5 times a week and pay for 80% of her shopping. I've told them both she's taking advantage but they won't listen. I haven't spoken to her for nearly 4 years after she had one of her "meltdowns" running off leaving her kids and telling everyone she was going to the MH hospital to get herself sectioned. Found out later, she'd ****** off to her mates to get stoned. :/
wow
Soldato
- Joined
- 30 Sep 2005
- Posts
- 16,693
This is excellent advice. I too was bullied for a few years until id just had enough and smacked him as hard as I could straight on his nose.
Never had any trouble since.
Caporegime
This thread cannot be for real can it?? Lol. Sorry no real advice but seeing as I have this godawful chest infection running rampant inside me, it’s given me a great albeit painful laugh.
Soldato
Soldato
A thirty year old and a forty year old both this stupid and still living with their parents?
Solution is a long walk off a short pier.
Solution is a long walk off a short pier.
Associate
- Joined
- 9 Jan 2019
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- 885
If you are not tall enough to put the nut in then ask him to wait a min while you go fetch a stool, he is your bro... he will understand.
Make sure that's a stool you would sit on, not the other kind which would be a bit messy.
Make sure that's a stool you would sit on, not the other kind which would be a bit messy.
People in their 30s and even 40s living with parents isn't that uncommon now, especially if you are unlucky enough to have grown up near London.
But this all sounds a bit weird.
I disagree with not using violence to deal with bullies though. Do use violence, it sends the strongest message. They won't mess with you again I guarantee it.
But this all sounds a bit weird.
I disagree with not using violence to deal with bullies though. Do use violence, it sends the strongest message. They won't mess with you again I guarantee it.
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Soldato
I'm a bit confused is the OP a guy or a girl? If the latter I can understand to an extent why the older brother is such a problem.
Could give him a kicking, usually works.
Soldato
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- 18 Oct 2012
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- 8,339
Your brother is 45 and stabs you with forks?
Sure that's not 4 or 5?
Sure that's not 4 or 5?
He's getting way better advice than i got when i posted on the Mumsnet Forum asking how to clock my 9900K to 5GHz.
Man of Honour
First thing is to leave when you decide to. He says he won't let you leave...will he imprison you by force or kill you? If not, you can leave.
Second thing is what you're going to do about his behaviour.
You can go down the legal route and report it to the police. Gather evidence as much as possible. Document every incident at least. Obtain recordings (audio would be easy, video a bit harder but still possible) if you can.
Or you can go down the illegal route and use violence against him. If you do so, be aware that you must be willing and able to escalate the violence beyond whatever level he is willing to escalate it to. You might not have to (it's possible that a lesser degree of violence from you might be enough to put him off), but you must be willing and able to do so. It's not the sure solution some people are portraying it as being. Also, be aware that it is illegal and you might face legal problems as a result. A conviction for violent crime wouldn't do much for your employment prospects. Finally, it might cause family problems. If, for example, you use a weapon on him and break his arm, how will your parents react? If you are going to go down that route, do use a weapon. You can't half-arse this method and you don't have the skill or strength to try a fair fight, so don't try a fair fight. Attack from surprise, use a weapon. If you're going to use violence, skew the confrontation in your favour as much as possible. A fair fight is for a sporting contest, not for real conflict. It's an ugly method and I wouldn't recommend it. For casual bullying, you might well stop it without inflicting more than a bloody nose and bruising if you've assessed the bully correctly. If you haven't, you'll have made the situation worse. You're not children, so the experience some people have posted about their childhoods is of limited relevance.
Second thing is what you're going to do about his behaviour.
You can go down the legal route and report it to the police. Gather evidence as much as possible. Document every incident at least. Obtain recordings (audio would be easy, video a bit harder but still possible) if you can.
Or you can go down the illegal route and use violence against him. If you do so, be aware that you must be willing and able to escalate the violence beyond whatever level he is willing to escalate it to. You might not have to (it's possible that a lesser degree of violence from you might be enough to put him off), but you must be willing and able to do so. It's not the sure solution some people are portraying it as being. Also, be aware that it is illegal and you might face legal problems as a result. A conviction for violent crime wouldn't do much for your employment prospects. Finally, it might cause family problems. If, for example, you use a weapon on him and break his arm, how will your parents react? If you are going to go down that route, do use a weapon. You can't half-arse this method and you don't have the skill or strength to try a fair fight, so don't try a fair fight. Attack from surprise, use a weapon. If you're going to use violence, skew the confrontation in your favour as much as possible. A fair fight is for a sporting contest, not for real conflict. It's an ugly method and I wouldn't recommend it. For casual bullying, you might well stop it without inflicting more than a bloody nose and bruising if you've assessed the bully correctly. If you haven't, you'll have made the situation worse. You're not children, so the experience some people have posted about their childhoods is of limited relevance.
Soldato
Stick him in the back of your van and give him the full Tony Williams experience.