What to do..?

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iBot said:
lol I've got a good few years before the big 30, I'm not even 25 yet :)

So do you think I should break off all contact? It's not something I really want to do though, I like her company I'm just not too comfortable with how much time she spends at mine.

You're leaving yourself open to a whole world of trouble if things go wrong

Adam_151 said:
What a sad world it is when gender and age are capable of standing in the way of choosing friends

Very true, but while we live in that world ibots gotta put himself 1st
 
me being the nice person that i am i wouldn't give up your friendship on what other people might think

as long as thats what both u and her think it is.

i would definitiely also tell her parents and brother though, she is young, has troubles and they need to know exactly what is going on. They might ground her and stop her from seeing you, thats their choice.

if they do this i would also suggest she sees a professional, your trying to help, if they cannot see this then i wouldn't trust them to help her either
 
dude, sorry to say but in the current climate its not going to hold water
you've got to brake off the relationship even if it is plutonic, it is far too easy for her to become angery with you and tell her 'rents/police you "touched" her, landing you with a rather nasty (and restrictive) record.

maybe you should talk to her brother and ask him to come over when she does
 
iBot said:
So do you think I should break off all contact? It's not something I really want to do though, I like her company I'm just not too comfortable with how much time she spends at mine.
Assuming the girl is underage, doing that could trigger exactly the consequences we're warning about.

Personally, I can't see a better option than approaching the parents about this .... though that has its risks too. If you do it, it'll all come out and, rather than be dropped in the poop herself, she may try to drop you in it. It then comes down to who gets believed. Or, of course, it may not.

But teenage girls sometimes feel very flattered by attention from an older bloke. They see it as some kind of confirmation of their own maturity and appeal and, as I said earlier, aren't always entirely rational or in control of their emotions. Gawd knows it's hard enough when you're older, more mature and not so hormone-controlled. So, she could well see "breaking all contact" as a very personal rejection, and react accordingly.

One option might be to talk to her about all this, and explain that you're worried about all this could appear. She may see the point ..... or you may give her ideas that wouldn't otherwise have occurred to her.

I can't see any course of action guaranteed to extricate yourself from this. Whatever you do, it could turn messy. All you can do is decide the best course, cross your fingers and get on with it. I would just strongly advocate NOT doing nothing. Don't just let things drift, because they're unlikely to improve and the complications will probably grow. Suppose she tries to take this a step or two too far? You either end up breaking the law, or risk her feeling very rejected if you don't. You're playing with dynamite, and it could all too easily blow up in your face.
 
iBot said:
lol I've got a good few years before the big 30, I'm not even 25 yet :)

So do you think I should break off all contact? It's not something I really want to do though, I like her company I'm just not too comfortable with how much time she spends at mine.

the issue is how old is she? 15 or 16 or less? nothing wrong with being friends, but maybe not a good idea for her to stay over without her parents knowing.
 
I'm guessing she's quite underage otherwise iBot wouldn't be avoiding telling us. Mate, this could get VERY messy so make the break now.
 
Desmo said:
I'm guessing she's quite underage otherwise iBot wouldn't be avoiding telling us. Mate, this could get VERY messy so make the break now.

In case you missed it

this could get VERY messy so make the break now
 
There's another aspect to this.

If someone came to me as a parent and explained this as a problem he had with my daughter, I'd see it in a very different way to the way I'd be likely to see it if it came out afterwards that some bloke had been letting my underage daughter sleep at his place, and colluding in deceiving me about it.

In that latter situation, iBot would have some VERY fast talking to do. If there's one thing you don't want to cross me over, it's family. If I really thought some bloke had been knocking off my underage daughter, I'd seriously suggest he start running now, because the law would be the least of his problems.

iBot, think about how this will look to the parents if it comes out later, and you'd been hiding it.
 
penski said:
Do we have pics yet?

*n

Typical! lol ;) great sig though Penski - haven't had the opportunity to comment til now...

Anyway on topic, if ibot does break all communication with the girl etc, he should tell someone - her tutor maybe or a mutual adult friend? He can't go to the parents as they will inevitably think something else has happened.

If he doesn't tell anyone then a circumstance may arise where she tells her parents therefore possibly landing him in ****.

...and you don't wanna be there. You also don't wanna be treading on eggshells forever wondering if she will ever say something bad.

Thats what I would be worried about anyway.

BB x
 
Crazy Fool said:
i think the age is a key thing here, 15 or 16 is not quite so bad... come on OP fess up the age.


I reckon 14 or 15, as a parent would you really trust a 13 year old to be telling you she is staying at a friends without you checking?
 
all that needs to be said is - still wanna be mates but not a good idea to stay around anymore as it good go pair shaped then say "are you mature enough to understand" what people could say or think, she will then try and be mature and say "yes" problem solved
 
Dear me Ibot what have you got yourself into. I would agree with what crazy fool said. I think going to her parents at the moment is taking it a bit far at this stage as they will think the worst. Be very careful mate, you say you like her company but if your young free single and horny things happen, you've been lucky so far I'd drop her as fast as possible there are millions of girls out there to be friends with. ;)
 
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