What was the most outrageous thing you did at School ?

Soldato
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The worse thing I was involved in (and compared to others here is pretty tame) was stealing the head drama teachers bunch of keys. It gave us access to pretty much every building in the school, including the fridges in the canteen which used to stock alcohol as the school also used to host evening events etc. It was a fun few weeks until they changed the locks on the fridges.
 
Soldato
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My brother and his mates did a 6th form assembly about masterbation, they had a dill-doh as a white board pointer.

They all got suspended...

Don’t know about them, but you may have been better served by double
English lessons, it may have helped you to spell masturbation, and di*do,
yes, I know it has an L in it, the swear filter removed it for some reason.
 
Soldato
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I got in trouble a lot at school. It was a boarding school so we all got a bit stir crazy. In the end I got expelled for making a bong out of stuff I stole from the chemistry lab and smoking weed in the 6th form common room. Pretty stupid stuff mostly.
 
Soldato
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Had a good laugh reading some of these.

Don't think i got up to too much drastic stuff, i remember in design tech we had a supply teacher in one day who must have been about 85 and deaf as a doorknob. He left the supply cupboard open when nipping to the loo, so we went in a stole a load of resistors and LED's.

When i had a moped at 16, we used to go out for rides during lunch time. God knows how the teachers kept missing us.
 
Soldato
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Near Bristol, Uk
Ohhh, many many bad things.

Deputy head was sat in his office with headphones on doing marking. Sat with back to door. Friend and I snuck in, lit a large french banger and ran. He appeared shortly afterwards storming around the playground looking for likely suspects, took everyones name down, never heard anything more about it.

Head of form use to slam his draw to make the class shut up... Got in early, took his draw out and taped 3 or 4 stink bombs to the back of it. You can guess the rest.

Hid the furniture from our form room, few of us were in early and systematically took all the chairs to other classrooms on the next floor, added 1-2 chairs to each room so it was subtle. Head of form got it to do register, was furious that there were no seats for any of us and was blaming the head of languages (the floor we were on). He stormed out and there was clear shouting going on between them in the corridor. (head of languages used to wind him up all the time... so had form!)

Fired a bouncy ball down the languages corridor using a catapult whilst everyone was in classes... roughly 45 degrees so it was bouncing off every wall, made a wonderful noise.

We used to make bigger fireworks by taking small ones apart... we made a big banger and friend blew a hole in one of the terrapins (temporary school building) by sticking it in a gap in the wood.

We discovered the wonders of glue, and used to take great glee in gluing any locks... Lockers, rooms, cupboards etc. Caused chaos!

Science class - teacher told us to pour the waste down the sink once we were done, paused, and then said but only this sink over here... Admitted our mistake (we had already poured)... The acid had already melted the pipes and was dripping through the ceiling below. That was his fault and he didnt give us a hard time about it.

We used to make blowpipes using plastic tubes and a bit of shoelace... The end bit thats wrapped in plastic and a bit of the lace behind.. Fray the lace behind, push a pin through the plastic wrapped bit so it sticks out. Put it in the tube and blow. Works very well... We caused carnage with those.

Towards the end of school I was taking it a bit more seriously, in Design Tech we had one lad who was a waste of space and caused trouble every lesson. We were doing woodworking and he was being very disruptive at the back of the room. where our bags were he was sat next to me (near front of room) and I was annoyed with him for something he did so hammered a nail through all the books in his bag, went under the table and hammered it sideways. looked up, teacher was looking right at me. I though I was in trouble, she winked and turned her back to write something on the board. Later when bell went he rushed over, grabbed his bag and couldnt move it. Amused me, and not a word was said about it... Guess she (teacher) had had enough of him too.

One of the science teachers taught us how to make thermite, that was a mistake.

Many other things, I generally didnt get involved in the really heavy stuff that some did.. would wander off and leave them too it. But did cause more than my fair share of trouble.
 
Soldato
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The most outrageous thing I did was not pay attention, learn or make the most of school.
 
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Soldato
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Joined every battery pack together in science when learning about resistance etc. Blew every fuse, melted the meter rule the wire was selotaped to... the glow coming from the wire was seriously impressive before it snapped...

Teacher was not impressed when no one else could do the experiment and I had melted one of his rulers.
 
Soldato
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Stoke area
Secondary school, left in 97

Biology teacher asked us whether it was a single or a double lesson, we said single, it was a double and we all left. 80% went back in afterwards but we'd already gone up town. 2 weeks on report.

some girl wrote something abusive about me on a desk because I didn't want to go out with her, so i carved that she gave blowie's for a fiver into a desk with her mobile number.

Science was spent lighting magnesium and messing around causing havoc. Computers, security, hacking and playing around etc.

I got into a fight with a lad and put him through a plasterboard wall in our break out area. We got a telling off then went and bought chips together and were friends until he became a BNP/EDL idiot.

The best one, a geography field trip to Bakewell at 15. Plain clothes and I took a small coke bottle with whiskey in it. Myself, 2 of my best male mates, 1 female and 2 male friends all drank it, then went and bought a load of hooch etc and got hammered. I only drank for dutch courage to ask my now wife out. I lost all my coursework from the trip and spent the entire journey back desperate for a pee. One of my best mates threw up all down the middle of the bus, the other sat at the back practically shagging the girl who was drinking with us until a teacher sat with them. The 2 other lads weren't drunk enough to notice.

Someone dobbed me in for taking the whiskey but the deputy head had told my mum that as long as I didn't admit it then they couldn't do anything. The head of discipline spent 2 weeks on me trying to get me to admit it, telling me my 2 best mates had named me (they were suspended for 2 weeks each). I told her that even if I had taken it there is no way that they'd dob me in. I got away with it.

We made the local newspaper and every school trip since has had to wear a uniform :D

Some other bit I wouldn't dare put but i miss school, it was fun :D lol
 
Soldato
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Alright, well here we go...


First off, South Africa. I came home once with a massive shiner from school once because I made my Zulu teacher cry. She then lobbed a blackboard duster at me and hit a bullseye, smack between the eyes. I'll never forget that shot, those things hurt like a bitch.

At after care, I used to sell everything I could get my hands on. Erasers, pens, pencils, sharpeners, everything. I even had a little make shift stall outside one of the classrooms which was eventually shut down because I was using all the other kids as employees and giving them commission for every item they found which I could sell. I would sell a good sharpener for R1 and give them 20c for example. The principal pulled me in to the office to tell me he was impressed by my entrepreneurial skills but due to school policy he had to shut me down. I lived like a king at school in those days.

My first pirated piece of software was GTA 1 which I bought from our computer teacher, R50 I paid for it. That guy made a killing selling pirated stuff on the side. I also remember one of the kids bringing a Voodoo 2 card to school and sticking it in one of the school's computers to play Quake.

We had public phones at school which we could gyppo for free calls. Remember the good old days when phones would make that clicking sound when dialling? Those clicks represented the digits in the phone number you were calling, so 1 click was 1, 2 was 2, etc. 10 clicks was 0. We soon sussed out that if you imitated the clicks using the handset lever, you could bypass the payment part and call as much as you wanted. The problem was that this was before cellphones, Beepas were only just coming out and we had nobody to call so although we all knew how to hack the phone, it was pointless, until we started pranking everyone.



AAAAAANNNNNYYYYYWAYYYYYYY.......

Let's talk about Holland, because I was a right little **** at school and constantly in trouble. This is when the golden stories started happening. Where to start...


We had a science teacher who loved Fiat 500s. He came to school one day in one which was apparently painted in actual Ferrari paint (it did look ace to be fair) and it was absolutely immaculate. As a prank we picked it up and put it amongst the bicycle racks so he couldn't get it out. I think that's the angriest I've ever seen someone get.

I went to a technical school so we had access to some proper workshops, with everything from lathes to milling machines to welding kit, the lot. Proper oldschool stuff. Not one to shy away from bending the laws of school, I wanted to make a weapon (note: I've never in my life injured anyone intentionally or broken a law apart from speeding or doing drugs (hey, Amsterdam, what you gonna do?)). To do this I took a piece of steel pipe about a foot long, half an inch thick. I wanted chain but we didn't have any in the stores at school. Lucky for me, the angle grinders were chained to the workbenches (heh, the irony) so I simply grabbed a grinder, chopped the chain off and used that. I stuck the end in the bit of pipe, hammered the end flat so it stuck in, then welded it. I then polished it up on a belt sander so it shined like a freshly polished knob. Using stamp letters, I named it "Spanky". There was no illusion here, this was a hardcore weapon and could've seriously mamed someone. Sadly my teacher caught me with it so he confiscated it and put it in his desk drawer. A week or so later my mate rang up the school (another note, this mate who was a massive partner in my shenanigans now has a prefix, "sergeant", yep he's a copper now and a bloody good one at that) and called the teacher. He went in to take the call and we nicked his keys and stole Spanky back. My mate then stuck it in the storage compartment of his scooter which incidentally also contained his insurance papers. That same day on the way home, he was pulled. He opened up his scooter and the cop grabbed it, help it up and said "what's this?". Fast forward a few hours and I could pick him up at the police station (without Spanky ffs) once the cops had checked all their records to make sure that there was nobody walking around missing a few limbs. (this story is copypasta'd from here as I've told it a few times)

Our workshop at this school had those crap old ceiling tiles in it, although very high as it was a workshop. Those old tiles that love holding on to things, the greedy ********. One day I was fannying around with some electrical welding rods when I threw one straight up and it never came down. I looked up and saw it stuck in the ceiling. I did what any kid would do and decided to explore what would and wouldn't stick in these tiles, an activity which became very popular with my class mates. We even made ninja stars and flung them up there, seems whatever went up got stuck, a bit like Paris Hilton. (we made absolute boatloads of these ninja stars btw, bloody things were razor sharp). One day our teacher is giving us a lecture on our next project when there's a clanging sound. He notices a ninja star on the floor and looks up to see what was pretty much an entire scrapyard hanging from the ceiling, welding rods, screws, stars, pretty much anything that could stab the ceiling tiles enough to stay there. We were all kicked out of the class and weren't allowed back in until the ceiling tiles were all replaced (the following week).

We also used to make caltrops although not that many because these things were a bitch to fabricate and took forever. One day we're hanging around out the front of the school when one of the nerds decides he wants to be cool, so we give him one a tell him to throw it on the road. He does, and it's promptly driven over by a cop car. That poor boy had some serious explaining to do that day :D

I've also been in numerous fights, the worst of which was when my bike was nicked and the guy who nicked it decided to come to my school on it (this bike was my baby, I brought it with me from South Africa and nobody else had one, I was 100% sure of this). Myself and a friend asked this guy to give my bike back and he decided he was a gangster and wanted to fight. He was carried out of that school by an ambulance crew. This resulted in my expulsion which brings me to....


My apprenticeship :D

I was an apprentice HVAC fitter and the contract I worked on was Vomar supermarkets in Holland. Every time they wanted to fit out a restaurant, we were called. The same with other teams, so we were all a family. Every time we went to a Vomar, we knew it'd be the same sparkies, same plumbers, same painters, etc. This of course meant shenanigans. Many, many, many shenanigans. At one point we were fitting out an old factory, you know the ones with all the tiny little windows at the top like the good old days? One of them. We welded a lot and for this we used acetylene, which is the most explosive gas in the world. We grabbed a rubble bag (a bit like a bin bag but 10x the size and thicker than your nan's panties) and filled it with acetylene. A little rag in the top and cable tie around the neck. The sparkies were in this old factory looking at drawings and stuff when we lit it and casually walked out. The explosion was a bit more than what we were expecting to be honest, we blew every single one of those tiny little windows out, there was glass everywhere and the cops turned up a few minutes later because someone thought a bomb had gone off.

They way these sparkies got back at us cost our insurance company about 3m euros and marked the end of that whole era. We were fitting out a hospital, at the time it was the second largest hospital in the northern hemisphere so quite an important one and all the work that needed doing, needed doing as quick as possible. Because of this we scrapped the metal pipes idea and used plastic pipes instead. These pipes went up to 2" so that's what we used. These pipes were connected by fittings that look like this:

PKJ1kU1.jpg



The pipe slides in to the fitting and then there's a hydraulic clamp which clamps the fitting, making a seal. First we'd install all the pipes, then once it's all in we'd go around with the clamp and clamp all the fittings. Once that's done we'd mark them with an X using a marker so we'd know which were clamped and which weren't. Until one day one of the sparkies thought it'd be funny to stick an X on a 2" joint without it being clamped. We got to pressure testing and got up to about 4 bar before this fitting let go, and in doing so emptied about three thousand litres of water on to the ground floor of this hospital, taking out a CT scanner, an X ray, some or other fancy eye testing thingy and loads of other medical equipment.

We made the papers and everything. Although we all knew exactly who had done it, we all kept quiet as this was jail time territory and this guy had just become a dad to twins, so we kept schtup, insurance paid out, and that was that. Oddly enough, two years ago my mother had a double mastectomy in that exact room, how weird is that?

There were loads more, we had a plug with the live & neutral connected so we'd randomly stick it in a socket when the sparkies were testing to blow their RCDs, and because the plugs were never there it used to drive them nuts.

These days were good fun but it started getting out of control which is why we were split up.


Another side story:

Another apprentice, same company, this guy was as hatstand as they come. He used to nick everything that wasn't bolted down, called in sick all the time, picked fights with everyone (which was funny, he also had a drug problem so he looked like a toothpick, many people just gave him a good clout and he'd fly across the room). Anyway, over the past few months there was a bit of an epidemic of people stealing the copper lightning conductors on the roofs of various buildings in our town. This is 100% pure copper and worth a fortune, we all suspected it was him but could never prove it until we saw an article on a website which had a photo of him and this piece of copper sticking all the way through him. Turns out he was doing his thieving stuff, he'd use bolt cutters to chop this stuff off the roof then fling it on the ground and then clear it up later, turns out one day he lost his balance and fell on this thing which straight through his lung and all sorts. Proper nasty. Ended up in jail too.



And that's all for now :)
 
Soldato
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I was at boarding school and it was in the latter part of the 1960's. A friend returned from holidays with a single shot derringer pistol which we chambered in metalwork to accept a .22 rifle round.
The school had a cadet force and an armoury, most of the rifles were Enfield .303 which were used for blank firing or drill. Some of the .303 had been converted to .22 to suit the rifle range so we could smuggle a few rounds out. Mostly we took it out shooting at posts on the estate which was very large and the odd gunshot not unheard off locally. We were never caught with it which was a good thing as even a catapult could be a sacking offence.

He became a lifelong friend and was my best man at my wedding, he joined the Met after school rising to sergeants rank, Sadly he died a few years ago, much missed.
 
Caporegime
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Don’t know about them, but you may have been better served by double
English lessons, it may have helped you to spell masturbation, and di*do,
yes, I know it has an L in it, the swear filter removed it for some reason.


So you think perhaps that's why he spelt it that way?
 
Soldato
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Don’t know about them, but you may have been better served by double
English lessons, it may have helped you to spell masturbation, and di*do,
yes, I know it has an L in it, the swear filter removed it for some reason.


C'mon, you can't criticise anyone else's English when your own post looks like someone just flung a can of alphaghetti spaghetti at your monitor.
 
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Soldato
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Ohhh, many many bad things.

We used to do the blow pipe thing, but using a bit of the paper wrapping from a straw and just poke a pin through the middle. Pretty brutal!

We used to have house raids (boarding school remember) where we'd steal all the duvets etc. One year it got out of hand during the lead up to the house singing competition when rivalries were up, and we ended up raiding one of the dorm houses and smashing all the lockers and beds up.

During house singing practice one night in the wardens study we had the 2nd formers doing fight club and one of them got thrown through an antique table. We carefully pieced it back together and a girl from the next house to have practice there sat on it and owned up to breaking it (unaware that we had actually smashed it)
 
Soldato
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I used to send graphic love notes from teachers to other teachers and watch them read it.

Also one annoying French teacher had the fuses removed from her equipment so she'd go and get the maintenance guy by the time he came I'd put them back in and she looked a right twonk explaining the cassette player wasn't working then viola! This happened for about 3 years, can't think why she went crackers and had a meltdown.

Stole a football net from a rival school on the same weekend some others had the same idea and felt smug denying everything in the headmasters office until a "friend" cried his eyes out and somehow out of him dobbing 6 of us in and him having the net at his house I was the only one in trouble!!

Started a rumour about a teacher in 98 which followed her up till my younger cousin finished school about 5 years ago!
 
Permabanned
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I used to send graphic love notes from teachers to other teachers and watch them read it.

Also one annoying French teacher had the fuses removed from her equipment so she'd go and get the maintenance guy by the time he came I'd put them back in and she looked a right twonk explaining the cassette player wasn't working then viola! This happened for about 3 years, can't think why she went crackers and had a meltdown.

Stole a football net from a rival school on the same weekend some others had the same idea and felt smug denying everything in the headmasters office until a "friend" cried his eyes out and somehow out of him dobbing 6 of us in and him having the net at his house I was the only one in trouble!!

Started a rumour about a teacher in 98 which followed her up till my younger cousin finished school about 5 years ago!

Gee, bet you're a hoot on Social Media, starting rumours and all, did you ever grow up and be a responsible person ?
 
Caporegime
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I used to always ask my English teacher, Mrs Elizabeth Taylor (genuinely) to check my work, so she’d lean over and I could see down her blouse. She had fantastic norks.

I’m sure she knew we was doing it too. Hot lady teachers can be surprisingly kinky and slightly noncy like that.
 
Soldato
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My school was rough as sin so too many stories to tell but one of the more amusing ones was PE. One of the particularly moronic folk turned it into a fight club, when you were in the changing rooms suddenly the light would go out, someone would scream FIGHTTT and it was on. Most people tried to get there early to secure a corner (easier to defend yourself :p) but after a few weeks of black eyes and bruises the PE teacher started standing in the changing room to stop it.

One day, as he was stood in the middle, lights went out and FIGHHTTTT was yelled and it kicked off. All you heard was the teacher yell out and when the lights came on he had an emerging shiner holding a shoe someone had pitched into this face. He was apoplectic and started screaming to know whose shoe it was, obviously no one owned up so he started shouting at everyone PUT YOUR SHOES ON! WHOEVER ONLY HAS ONE SHOE IS THE CULPRIT! Bunch of kids in various states of undress rummaging round to find shoes that had all being launched on the fight kicking off, amusingly it was some quiet kids show who someone had picked up and chucked and he got the blame :D:D

I will always remember and laugh about that but there were so, so many more.
 
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Man of Honour
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Brought a 8 inch knife into school. I was frustrated about the blunt and tiny knives that we used in our food tech lessons so brought it in with my ingredients and cooking dish. Funny enough, teacher knew but didn't say anything and nothing came of it because I was sensible and saw it just as a tool. I doubt teachers have the discretion to take the same approach these days.

I still hate cooking with blunt knives so all of mine are super sharp with Japanese whetstones which cost me a fortune.
 
Soldato
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I remembered getting 2,700 lines from my art teacher Mrs Ellis(*****) "Art class isn't ridiculous & although subjective, coursework is still able to be graded and isn't pointless or meaningless" I got my whole form to help me out with the lines while my form teacher just laughed at me pleading with people to help.
 
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