What would you do? (relationship)

I'm pretty certain that Christianity forbids any kind of sexual activity outside of marridge.

The fact that shes happy for you to perform acts on her suggests she doesn't take it that seriously.

If she doesn't take it that seriously, then it shouldn't be an issue.

Its a pretty hard one to judge really. I think its safe to say most people on these forums don't follow a religion (including me) so its pretty difficult to put oneself in her shoes.

Personaly my gut feeling is she's playing silly buggers. I can't imagine anyone putting religon ahead of the person they love.

Is she a virgin? Has she had other boyfriends?

Have you actualy talked about marridge? has she said she wants to marry you? Again, if so, and shes willing to bend the rules to recieve sexual pleasure, then it makes no sense not to return the favour!
 
cman said:
How would you feel if 15+ (pick a number) guys "tried" your wife?
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?? it happens dude. I've had sex with loads of women. it happens.

or you could take the christian approach:

marriage, sex, divorce
marriage, sex, divorce
marriage, sex, divorce
marriage, sex, divorce

same thing.
 
St0rmer66 said:
Then you're obviously not very picky ;) . I would say the exact opposite, I'd rather be single than in a relationship that I wasn't fully happy with. A good sex life is just one of many things I need/want in a relationship, but it is an important one none the less.
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I've never been that into sex.
 
Groovington said:
I'm pretty certain that Christianity forbids any kind of sexual activity outside of marridge.

The fact that shes happy for you to perform acts on her suggests she doesn't take it that seriously.

If she doesn't take it that seriously, then it shouldn't be an issue.

Its a pretty hard one to judge really. I think its safe to say most people on these forums don't follow a religion (including me) so its pretty difficult to put oneself in her shoes.

Personaly my gut feeling is she's playing silly buggers. I can't imagine anyone putting religon ahead of the person they love.

Is she a virgin? Has she had other boyfriends?

Have you actualy talked about marridge? has she said she wants to marry you? Again, if so, and shes willing to bend the rules to recieve sexual pleasure, then it makes no sense not to return the favour!
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yeah she's a virgin, I'm her first boyfriend.
 
Groovington said:
I'm pretty certain that Christianity forbids any kind of sexual activity outside of marridge.
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I'm sure a person could find something to interpret into whatever they want.

The fact that shes happy for you to perform acts on her suggests she doesn't take it that seriously.

If she doesn't take it that seriously, then it shouldn't be an issue.
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Or she's decided to interpret her religion in that way - it's not sex, not really, so it's OK. Akin to Bill Clinton and his "I did not have sexual ralations with that woman."

Its a pretty hard one to judge really. I think its safe to say most people on these forums don't follow a religion (including me) so its pretty difficult to put oneself in her shoes.

Personaly my gut feeling is she's playing silly buggers. I can't imagine anyone putting religon ahead of the person they love.
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Oh, easily. People can go as far as putting their religion ahead of the lives of people they love, actually killing them. And then genuinely mourning them. This is nothing in comparison.

Is she a virgin? Has she had other boyfriends?

Have you actualy talked about marridge? has she said she wants to marry you? Again, if so, and shes willing to bend the rules to recieve sexual pleasure, then it makes no sense not to return the favour!
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What does religion have to do with sense?

Maybe she interprets it as religiously OK as long as she's not the "active" partner. People will draw some very odd lines regarding what is and what isn't acceptable for them to do. Not just with religion, either.
 
Tefal said:
ok two choices,

A)you can be miserable and follow my rules for a week, then the rest of your life i will make sure you get everything you could ever want.

B)you can be happy and defy me for a week, and i will personally make sure the rest of your life is full of pain and suffering.


This is essentially the basis of the Abrahamic religions.
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And other protection rackets.
 
Groovington said:
I'm pretty certain that Christianity forbids any kind of sexual activity outside of marridge.
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Nope. There's no out and out prohibition of anything really. The closest that you can get is the interpretation of the word "adultery" in the ten commandments (Old Testament) or the phrase "sexual immorality" in Paul's letters (New Testament). Those are generally held to include sex outside of and, by implication, before marriage.

Groovington said:
The fact that shes happy for you to perform acts on her suggests she doesn't take it that seriously.

If she doesn't take it that seriously, then it shouldn't be an issue.
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I'd guess that she does take it seriously, but believes that this choice doesn't compromise her beliefs, as someone else said.

Groovington said:
Personaly my gut feeling is she's playing silly buggers. I can't imagine anyone putting religon ahead of the person they love.
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I'd say that's incredibly naive.
 
Yeah, it would be pretty difficult to get into that argument on a 'family friendly' board, "sometimes mummies and daddies like to do 'special hugging' because they love each other so darn much". :rolleyes:
 
Codec I think only you can really decide on this one, what we would do is not really relevant. Asking this massive lame geeky source of knowledge on what you should do with your 4+ years of your life isn't the way forward. You need to decide what you want.

codec said:
I just don't want to wait 4 or 5 years, get married and then find out it wasn't worth the wait I guess.... Sex is a big thing for me, I get "frustrated" and act out of character etc etc. And if thats what I marry into I would end up getting divorced pretty quickly...

I don't want to waste my time... but I don't want to say I didn't take a chance...
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I don't get what you mean here. A few posts later you talk that sex isn't everything, but the above quote says it is! - Nothing wrong with that at all we have our needs.. however it sounds like you are quite mismatched with this girl. Have you spoke to her about how you feel?

Personally I wouldn't wait for sex after marriage, I think the numbers that would are decreasing greatly.
 
just knock the odd one or so out on your own, or go pay for it while you wait, at least it will relieve your tension, obviously keep it to yourself though
 
codec said:
You've met the love of your life, your soul mate, the perfect opposite of you... but she was brought up a christian so no sex before marriage.... what would you do? stay or go?

Before anyone says I'm not being shallow, it's a big thing for me. A very big thing.
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hi there...

i think you should go...you can assure that the love of your life is pure and you can assure that you are her first. i think men should respect when a woman say no when it comes to sex.
 
Deal with it, if you love her as much as you say you do, then you can at least try. If it gets to you that much and she is not going to change her mind then theres only one thing you can do isn't there?

Alternatively buy some porn and cry yourself to sleep every night.
 
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