Soldato
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yep. respect is important is any relationship. the fact you'd ask on here but not ASK HER shows you have a lack of respect for her.
What would you do? (relationship)
- Thread starter CaptainComedy
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yep. respect is important is any relationship. the fact you'd ask on here but not ASK HER shows you have a lack of respect for her.
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Not getting any handjobs, certainly not getting any head. No sexual contact at all on my side it's all very much one way. I just get kisses, she gets what ever I'm allowed to give that isn't actual sex
I'm not trying to get around it at all, I am simply trying to find out what you guys would do given the circumstances. I have a high sex drive and if I marry someone who only wants it once every other day I'm obviously going to get frustrated emotionally and that's no way to live a life.
This is my point. I don't understand why people are saying it's an easy choice if 2 people are perfectly connected mentally but they are failing to see that it takes more than personality to have a working marriage, there has to be a physical connection too.
because you fail to understand the scenario you weep? insecure much?
I am asking what the people on this forum would do given the circumstance. I'm not asking for advice because non of you have a clue what we are like together. Stop assuming I have no clue on relationships, I know a lot of things but this situation is alien to me. I am not a religious person (my dad is muslim and my mother is christian and they ensured I was not a part of any religion) and I have always been against something that isn't proven fact. But now I have fallen for someone who doesn't think the same ideals as me and it doesn't bother me so I am willing to compromise but how far I do not know. It's hard laying there at night with a really hot girl laying next to you knowing nothing is going to happen.
I had no idea you could be born as a virgin, I thought everyone was an expert and it was as natural as breathing. Seriously? give me a break I couldn't care less if she was a virgin and actually like that fact.
You really have no clue what you are saying and who you are saying it to.
I can't be bothered? really? I've had no sex, no head, NOTHING throughout the relationship since I met her. And the fact that she is the love of my life is one thing, but the "but" in this situation is that my needs are a healthy sex life. Note that I used the word life. Because I don't want it for a week. I want it like that always. Do you honestly think anyone on this forum or any male for that matter would stick around for a girl that would have sex once a month when they wanted it 3 times a day? get real that's not gonna happen. It's important to have a healthy sex life and I put it to you that you are the immature one should you think otherwise.
You hear from women cussing that they never meet the right men. Men do it just as much. She deserves a good man. A very good man, but whether I am able to put up with blue balls until the time is right to marry (which I don't know when that is) I have no idea.
And to the guy that said its bull that I don't get stomach cramps, mood swings etc read up on Blue_balls
With that additional information, it sounds like you really need to sit down and discuss it with her, because that does not sound sustainable... No sex before marriage is one thing, no fulfillment of sexual needs or consideration for them is something different (my earlier reply was based on the thought that you were getting something as that was what seemed to be implied by your earlier posts).
It is perfectly possible to handle a 'no full sex yet' relationship, a no sexual contact (at least for you) relationship is something else entirely.
It is perfectly possible to handle a 'no full sex yet' relationship, a no sexual contact (at least for you) relationship is something else entirely.
This
I got married 8 yrs ago to a gorgeous lass and we had no sexual interaction before we got married ie kissing, hugging.
Got married thinking that damn im gonna tap that booty...did i ****???...she would withhold sex from me unless she was in the mood which was very rare...put it this way i had sex with her a total 4 times that we were married.
It put a lot of strain on the marriage because quite simply if i wanted someone to cook and clean for me...i would have hired a bloody maid or something
...ended up in a divorce...she left me and did me a massive favour in all honesty.Now i wont even consider dating or marrying for that fact, a girl/woman who says no sex before marriage...sexual compatibility is very big despite what some will say...
So OP id leave and not stick around...it doesnt make you shallow or heartless...unless you can live with the fact that you arent going to get any action before marriage then stick around...otherwise leave...plenty of more fish in the sea
.If you really think that you will need sex 3 times a day ....... I'd bet differently but one never can tell. As many have tried to point out, there is more to a relationship than sex; once the immediate lust has worn off, and things have calmed down a bit, you will find that it is much more important to have your "soul mate".
Someone else said that learning together what each needs/wants can be a great foundation for a relationship/marriage; I'd say that was probably right but reiterate that finding someone that you can actually "live with" on a day in day out basis is much more important: once the rose coloured spectacles are put to one side, you will find that all those petty little things that you didn't think really mattered can become irksome habits that slowly become important issues; the sex is much less important too.
I say all this as an old man who was married for close to 20 years and has had a fairly "active" past; take it or leave it, as you like but sharing ones life with another person is much, much more than any "fantastic sex" that you may feel is important now.
Kind wishes, whatever you decide.
Someone else said that learning together what each needs/wants can be a great foundation for a relationship/marriage; I'd say that was probably right but reiterate that finding someone that you can actually "live with" on a day in day out basis is much more important: once the rose coloured spectacles are put to one side, you will find that all those petty little things that you didn't think really mattered can become irksome habits that slowly become important issues; the sex is much less important too.
I say all this as an old man who was married for close to 20 years and has had a fairly "active" past; take it or leave it, as you like but sharing ones life with another person is much, much more than any "fantastic sex" that you may feel is important now.
Kind wishes, whatever you decide.
Noooooo, you're joking?
I have to say, I think it's quite a selfish attitude to accept and enjoy sexual acts from you but then to not reciprocate AT ALL. If you're going to compromise on the no sex until after marriage, the least she can do is compromise with you on this. I think you need to have this conversation with her as I'm sure it will relieve a lot of the problem for you if she's willing .
How religious is she in daily life? Is it just a few "traditional" things like no sex before marriage or is she a regular church go-er? You need to ask yourself, if you're not religious, is that the life you want to buy into? Because it's inevitable that, if you're not already, you WILL be expected to join in with it in the future.
.How religious is she in daily life? Is it just a few "traditional" things like no sex before marriage or is she a regular church go-er? You need to ask yourself, if you're not religious, is that the life you want to buy into? Because it's inevitable that, if you're not already, you WILL be expected to join in with it in the future.
i didn't see that! **** her off
Soldato
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Hasn't been said in a few posts. Smash her pasty from orbit with fire in the ovaries.
I dated a pretty, funny, very very very religious girl (she attends 'The Alpha course' on a couple of weeknights). Waste of time.
The part of my brain that says "Religion is a crock" eventually won out and she caught me burning a bible with a marmite pentagram on my bare chest.
I dated a pretty, funny, very very very religious girl (she attends 'The Alpha course' on a couple of weeknights). Waste of time.
The part of my brain that says "Religion is a crock" eventually won out and she caught me burning a bible with a marmite pentagram on my bare chest.
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nope, serious.
I have to say, I think it's quite a selfish attitude to accept and enjoy sexual acts from you but then to not reciprocate AT ALL. If you're going to compromise on the no sex until after marriage, the least she can do is compromise with you on this. I think you need to have this conversation with her as I'm sure it will relieve a lot of the problem for you if she's willing
well she doesn't care if she has it or not, I want her to experience it as much as possible without "breaking any boundaries" - naturally she's happy to oblidge to that, but doesn't reciprocate. I can't force her into it... but yeah I guess I need to man up and have a word about any alternative...
She tries to go every sunday but generally not that churchy, she makes a point when I say "oh jesus christ" etc which is quite churchy but that doesn't bother me, kinda funny but I preffer not to say stuff that will offend someone so what ever.
I'll go to church with her etc. I don't believe in it etc but I will do it. I mean people will say I should go only if I believe in it but I believe in us and if sitting in a church listen to people preach then what ever. she's worth it. Who knows, maybe I'll end up buying into it I dunno. The people seem to be generally well raised (good family background etc)... not seen one chav in there at least lol! Which kinda says something about christian family values etc.
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I see why your nick is yamahahaha now
also if anyone could tell me how christian bf/gf's work that would be nice to know because:
A. Not allowed to sleep in same room
B. No sexual contact
C. Flirting is generally frowned upon
I mean what kind of a relationship is that!?
1. we share a bed (no sex)
2. there is 1 sided sexual contact
3. we flirt with eachother all the time (she's good at that)
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Ok, with all the new additional info I'm going to eat some humble pie and retract my previous post.
It's very bizarre but I was in the 'exact' same position, albeit much earlier in life than you.
I decided I would respect her religious values and wait. And wait. In the end, the onesided physical relationship really got to me. We parted ways eventually, mosty due to other reasons, but the physical side of our relationship was a factor.
Not long after she met another guy (whom I knew), he figured he could get her to leave behind her religion... and do you know what? He managed it. They married in the end, but he got to test drive first.
n
It's very bizarre but I was in the 'exact' same position, albeit much earlier in life than you.
I decided I would respect her religious values and wait. And wait. In the end, the onesided physical relationship really got to me. We parted ways eventually, mosty due to other reasons, but the physical side of our relationship was a factor.
Not long after she met another guy (whom I knew), he figured he could get her to leave behind her religion... and do you know what? He managed it. They married in the end, but he got to test drive first.
n
Lol different beliefs.
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well it depends on the person and how strict they are and where their morals lie and how much they are willing to compromise...
Couple of questions to clear up your situation,
How long have you been together?
Do you share a strong physical attraction to each other and it's just the 'religious' side of things stopping you having sex (mainly for her, I think we know where you stand!) or is she just 'not that interested' most of the time?
For the record, how anyone could hold religious beliefs over the happiness of themselves and someone they love is absolutely beyond my comprehension....
How long have you been together?
Do you share a strong physical attraction to each other and it's just the 'religious' side of things stopping you having sex (mainly for her, I think we know where you stand!) or is she just 'not that interested' most of the time?
For the record, how anyone could hold religious beliefs over the happiness of themselves and someone they love is absolutely beyond my comprehension....