What's the most surreal thing someone in the street has said to you?

"Can you give me directions to the local Aids Clinic".

Two big guys who looked out of work and trying to find trouble, i was dressed in a suit out to lunch alone in a town i didn't know, had a good feeling what was about to go down, without even pausing i came right out with, "down the highstreet second road on the left".

They grinned, i turned and headed for an estate agents door.
 
Not in the street, but once on a long-haul flight an elderly gentleman sat across the aisle leant over and enquired in a very posh accent "Excuuuuuse me, are you a druggie?", to which I indignantly replied in the negative, despite being extremely drunk and despite his assumption being correct (this was a long time ago).

Nothing interesting these days. Some knob asked me for a bite of my sandwich while I was walking back to the office today, but only to impress his mate, not because he was a weirdo.
 
I was on the bus a few years ago when an elderely man sat next to me. After several minutes of him intensely staring at me, he asked if I played any sport and labelled me a ' a fit young specimen.' After several more minutes, he then nervously asked silently if i would like a Fishermans friend, whilst rummaging in his bag. I declined and thankfully I shortly reached my destination!
 
At about 2 o clock in the morning after a night out in Reading, some guy stumbled up to a group of us, clearly off his face on something and just stood there staring. 5 seconds later this 4x4 pulled up on the other side of the road, he then shouted "Check the Range!", and immediately walks off.

It was made funnier by the fact it wasn't a beefed up range rover, but a bog standard land rover.
 
"Oi, four eyes!"

I was annoyed. Annoyed that the kid couldn't come up with a better insult than that. If you're going to have a go at me, do it properly or not at all!
 
doofer said:
A very elderly Gentleman, immaculately dressed pointed his walking stick at a Police helicopter and said to me as I walked past.. 'That ****ing Hitler will never give up!'
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:D that made me lol :p Some cracking lines in here.

The wierd thing I had was when I was at a gig at the MK Bowl (Milton Keynes when I used to live there) everyone slowly leaving the venue. Some American guy ask's me which way is it to London.
So naturally I thought he wanted directions to the train station, I said "the train station to take you to London is"...
he interupts me and says "no I want to know which way I need to walk to get to london"
so just randomly pointed in a direction and said "go that way buddy that path will take you to london just follow it".
He said "cheers dude" then gave me a £5 note and said "for your troubles" and he started walking in the direction I pointed him in :eek: :p
 
"Like me Pantera, you ain't never gonna own one...*laugh*"

I did and he was right. He was talking about his car the Detomaso Pantera, a real bewt of a sports car from days gone by.
This was about 20 years ago when a guy pulled up at the side of my old Escort MK2 and I have been smitten ever since.

(With the car .... I know what you guys are like :P )
 
Shayper said:
I also constantly get told I look like someone people know. Constantly.

Oh and yesterday someone driving past on Eltham high street tried to sell me weed out of his car :D
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Check the Fabric lineup for tomorrow... Room 2. Hell yeaa!

I've been asked numerous times if I can help somebody on their weed hunt. Usually I oblige :p
 
While cleaning the female toilets at work, walked in, announced myself, and startled a couple of young girls. I went into the cubicles on the other side of the toilet, doing my checks, when I got to the other side where they were, they looked at me and said "Oooh, yes please." :p

Another female toilet story, again on a toilet check, went in to see some woman doing her makeup. She starts talking to me about how she's a bartender, the weather, some random crap all the while pulling down her top, and turning so I could see her butt in those see-through tights/leggings that women like to wear these days. She did have a nice bum, mind you.

Had an older gentlemen, a bit eccentric come up to me while I was working, asking me about the lunar eclipse. He went off on one about having an open mind, aliens, the government, and the end of the world. That went on for 20 minutes as I wasn't sure exactly what to say to the poor fool.
 
PistolPete said:
I had a couple with a foreign accent stop me in the street a few years back and asked me if I'd take their photo. I agreed and stood there, but no camera was forthcoming.
I said if you give me your camera Ill take your picture and they looked at me strange and asked "don't you have one??"

Weirdos.
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You sure they weren't from up North? Northerners sound foreign to me. :p

Once had a Northern mate ask me to call him at tea time. He called me at 2 o'clock angry that I didn't call him.

I'm like, "Dude you said call you at tea time, it's not even 5 o'clock yet!"
He's like, "Tea time is at 12"
I'm like, "WTF?"
 
We get lots of students from KCL, LSE, Media School(s) and probably others I don't know about, wandering around doing surveys.

"Where is the least likely place you'd expect to find a copy of the Karma Sutra?"
"The world is going to end in 5 minutes. You have the choice of an apple OR a banana. Which do you take?"

and some other randomness. Those crazy kids.
 
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