Where to Propose!!!

[Deadly Ferret]

Why would she want him for a UK passport? This country is down the swanny. Even Woolworths has closed all it's stores.

Ha, how naive! Just like a child to confuse the short-term with forever.

Remember in the distant past (a bit over twelve months ago I believe) before Northern Rock came to light and that buzzword 'credit crunch' started being bandied about by the media as a child playing with a new shiny toy? Didn't this country seem like one of the best in the world to all the people from around the world who swanned to its shores? That's because it is, and that's not going to change just because of a correction; a fly in the ointment, a dip in the graph...

 

[finga]

theres a lot of naivety in this thread lol

anyway, going back to the 'quickie' marriage in an office in st petersburg, I wonder if the OP realises how religious people over there are, good luck on getting her parents to agree to an office wedding, there was no way on earth I was allowed to do that

people jump into marriage blindly nowadays, it wouldnt be so bad if they didnt have the attitude that divorce is so easy, just as love is blind, divorce is expensive, marriage is for life, not just for now

 

[arknor]

congrats on ordering yourself a russian bride! arent mail order brides the best!

 

[Knubje]

That's because it is, and that's not going to change just because of a correction; a fly in the ointment, a dip in the graph...

*Hums God Save the Queen*
*Salutes*


Back OT

I've been with my GF over 5 years now, lived with her almost all of it except maybe the first couple of months. We lived in the same room at uni and the same room now, spend every day together except odd times and work, ofc. Needless to say we know each other a fair bit!

Still, we aren't engaged.

This is the reason why:

We are mid twenties and still am saving for a house. More importantly we are having fun and I see little reason why we need to get "engaged or married" until we are ready. There is no rush. I am 99% sure I have found the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life so why all the need for a piece of paper to confirm it?

I think you need to get a little perspective of married life and that deffinatley includes living with the other person at least a year. Of course, all the advice on this forum could be wasted and you are just going to do what you are going to do anyway

(Keep an eye on your pens, just in case she tries to do a runner - like!)

 

[Mark M]

Havent read the whole thread but if you dont know where to propose then you dont know her well enough to marry her!

 

[fini]

I've been with my GF over 5 years now..Still, we aren't engaged....this is the reason why:

We are mid twenties and still am saving for a house.

You can't save for a house when married? You seem to be implying house ownership is more important to you than committing to your gf?

More importantly we are having fun and I see little reason why we need to get "engaged or married" until we are ready. There is no rush. I am 99% sure I have found the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life so why all the need for a piece of paper to confirm it?

Marriage isn't just a piece of paper, it is a commitment. I think you understand this by saying that you're not ready ('until we are ready'). Why after 5 years are you not 100% sure that she is the one for you? Why are you unwilling to commit to someone you are 99% sure is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

 

[Talbs13]

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[Knubje]

You can't save for a house when married? You seem to be implying house ownership is more important to you than committing to your gf?

I see what you mean, but no it's not like that at all

We are currently saving for a house and living with parents (sigh) and have both decided that we want to be in our own house before engagement, married, kids, life, etc. Just seems to us to be the natural steps to take.

I wouldn't have a problem with proposing but to us it just doesn't feel right yet. I think thats the most important thing.

End of the day Talbs you can only do what feels right to you. Regardless of what people here have said and how good some advice may be

 

[Talbs13]

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[UncleBensSauce]

I've been proposed to in a Metro in a train station car park and small Norfolk cottage on the sea. Niether of them worked out and they both cost me a mint (despite the other person proposing)

So I would not recommend either of these places.

 

[ChrisJSY]

Read some of his other threads including the comedy goldmine that was 'I have £2 million quid please spec me aa £150,000 spceial car' in Motors then it starts to become a little more clear

Actually Fox, I did post a thread about all his previous posts but I thought it wasn't worth it and I didn't want everyone else to think Ill thoughts of me.

But screw it, he's got some problems for sure.

No girl, just a job!.
A will for my soul mate i've known a month..
...with all the money I have
But it doesn't matter, spend spend spend spend
FAO: Life isn't about money.
This out of nowhere!!!
I need to sneak money on to a plane!

Some really horrible people here. I know what i am doing. I trust her. She trusts me. No matter what i say now some of you will just find a way to make it seem a bad thing and you are just trying to say that she is a lieing visa-wanted ***** who i ordered off the internet.

FU ChrisJSY.

Oh, ok.. I was putting thing into perspectives and you get all aggressive?
Seem like you can't take any criticism and advice.







1. You where going to do it on the London Eye today? How long did you decide you have to learn russian to ask her mother to deciding not to propose today and what happened to mauritius. This doesn't add up.

2. Why is getting married a big rush?
Are you seriously telling me that you can't be together unless you get married by end of next year, or is SHE telling you that? This is a genuine question as to why you are rushing.

3. I agree with you!

4.You say you know getting married is a big deal yet, you say So what, its only been 1 year, if it fails then we both learn a hard lesson,
That's not how you get into a marriage. Also just so you know if you get divorced because it doesn't work she gets some of that bling bling blaow that you've supposedly got.

5. Never had a girlfriend in russia? No, I have not but I've got a girlfriend outside of the eu. But that doesn't stop you two meeting up every month does it.


Lastly, 7. You say there's no evil intentions and you're just a boyfriend and girlfriend in love, no different from any other couple blah blah etc.

But we are just airing caution to the wind because every single relationship starts like this. When it goes down hill you don't expect it. If you're not married it's easier to get out, if you are it's HELL.

BE CAREFUL, That's what i'm trying to say beneath all the Sherlock Holmes digging up past thread stuff.






I'm sorry I offended you but sometimes people need a reality check from the masses of people who've been in your situation.

But simply, you want to get married to be closers with her/live with her?

Good luck J.

 

[finga]

ha, funny
can you subscribe to a users posts here

 

[fini]

Congrats ChrisJSY, you've just managed to back up what the OP was saying - which I think is the opposite of what you were trying to do!

No girl, just a job!.
A will for my soul mate i've known a month..
...with all the money I have
But it doesn't matter, spend spend spend spend
FAO: Life isn't about money.
This out of nowhere!!!
I need to sneak money on to a plane!

So to take those posts in chronological order: In February he was planning on a trip to Russia - which makes perfect sense given what he's said. In March he again confirmed that he was going on a trip to Russia and wanted to get everything in order before he left - perhaps unnecessary, but nothing wrong with doing so. In April he gets annoyed when someone says a wage of 25k isn't much - all this implies is that he earns less than this. In August he really wanted an imac, but was 20k in debt. In the same month he told of all the holidays he's been going on with his Russian girlfriend. This makes it obvious how the 20k debt has been built up - on holidays with her - which is consistent with what he's been saying in this thread. In October he comes in to a lot of money - good for him I say - perhaps a lottery win or a relative died (not so good for him). In the same month he wants to take money with him to Russia - if you received tons and tons of money wouldn't you give any to your girlfriend? The money is eventually sent via western union.

So all his actions make complete sense and seem relatively sensible...what is your problem with this sequence of events?

1. You where going to do it on the London Eye today? How long did you decide you have to learn russian to ask her mother to deciding not to propose today and what happened to mauritius. This doesn't add up.

Only if you don't read the thread. He was going to propose on the London Eye, but then couldn't get a visa for her to come over. He then realised he would have to propose somewhere else - thus either Mauritius or Russia. I'd imagine he is going to ask her mother after having already proposed to her, just not telling the mother that he's already proposed.

Are you seriously telling me that you can't be together unless you get married by end of next year, or is SHE telling you that? This is a genuine question as to why you are rushing.

I'd imagine he just means that the long distance aspect is putting a strain on the relationship and perhaps she cant keep on going on holidays like he is.

But we are just airing caution to the wind because every single relationship starts like this. When it goes down hill you don't expect it. If you're not married it's easier to get out, if you are it's HELL.

BE CAREFUL, That's what i'm trying to say beneath all the Sherlock Holmes digging up past thread stuff.

I'm sorry I offended you but sometimes people need a reality check from the masses of people who've been in your situation.

It sounds like whatever happened to you it's still quite raw and your posts read like you've been really hurt before and are running scared of it happening again. If that's correct I'm really sad that such a thing has happened to you; heartache hurts. It makes your posts, however, not the most objective posts in this thread.

 

[finga]

I would have to disagree with you there, tbh I read the posts and it just comes across that the guy has his head in the clouds, while this is not a terrible trait in a person, it just seems to me that his current course of action is going to cost him a lot of grief and money, sorry for that but thats how i see it

 

[Talbs13]

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[dangerstat]

You sir have hit the nail on the head. There is nothing else i can add to that. And the money to Russia was for a private medical problem which i am not going to reveal.

The rush is because its extremely difficult and very hard on relations when you cant just drive to their house and when you have such a strong feeling towards someone, you cant just ignore it, something has to be done because neither me or her want to be seperated any longer.

It's ashame, but completely expected that there is a fair deal of secpticism (spelling ). If you where my brother telling me this, I'd be telling him to be MASSIVELY cautious. It sounds dodgy to me, and I just don't to read a
"Well she's got her visa, now she wants a divorce" thread in a couple of months

 

[Talbs13]

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[dangerstat]

I think people are confused about how the whole "UK Visa" system works.

She cant just come here on her Spouse Visa, divorce me and then return lol.

Why do you all think she will divorce me? IF IF IF i had ANY ANY ANY doubt in my mind i would not risk my money and assets and LIFE with this girl, hell no. I may be young and "IN LOVE" but i am not stupid.

You'd be surprised how many times I have heard that. When you are in love you're completely biased. Can you explain why she could come to the UK get married and then divorce you? Obviously I'm missing something.

 

[V4NT0M]

To dress as that I would need to source a black hole from somewhere, or maybe just a black blanket



I have told her that I'm proposing as early as possible this year, as in a number of years my salary will have risen, thus cheaper to get a ring now



She doesn't want me to propse with loads of people around, clapping and all that jazz. Plus she obviously wants me to put some serious thought into it, like I wouldn't. Although leavig Left 4 Dead halfway through a campaign and proposing to her on the sofa should shock her enough

Meh, maybe it's because I don't really get the whole marriage thing, if it meant something then sure. But to me, someone spending thousands of pounds on a ring is just pointless, what's the "rule"? 2 months of salary? I know it would be my responsibility but if my girlfriend was going to spend that much on a useless piece of jewlery i would tell them to not bother and keep the money for something usefull.

Same with an expensive marriage, spedning thousands on a wedding is completely ridiculous.

If someone really needs those kind of assurances that I love them then they're really not for me, crazy materialistic people.

 

[Talbs13]

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