Why do some men, in the toilets, do this?

Never seen any problem in just squeezing inbetween 2 people and lobbing it out...also why can't you talk to said people whilst having a pee?

Cubicals only get used if all urinals are in use or number 2!
 
hmm I'll add my question as well

Why do grown men throw whole toilet rolls down the toilet in pubs/clubs or smash the seat up?
 
There was one lad who worked in our building. Finished off at the urinal, then walked over to wash his hands with his member still out. Washed his hands, then put it away. It was termed in the office as 'snaking it'.
I then told mates outside work, who now 'snake it' on nights out etc. Seemingly the step above 'big-boy wees'. Yes, some of my friends of easily amused / horribly childish.
 
How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet
Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom immediately so the
pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA-OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

AUNT BETTY
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever... Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An AUNT BETTY makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees!

SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF
The King Poop: This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop: You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.

Cement Block: You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop): Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

The Bungee Poop: The kind of poop that just hangs off your rear before it falls into the water.

The Crippler: The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Party Pooper: The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
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These sound like rules for women!


The only rule is to avoid a freshly dropped bomb! Last thing you want is to kick back while the smell of some other dues tea is burning your nostrils!

When im working i look forward to 'dropping off the kids' gives me some piece and quiet! I take my morning one at work, why go in my own time at home when i can be paid to poop?

If the boss aint in and i can get away with reading my book i tend to take it to the bogs and get a chapter or so done, if not i have my headphones and some tunes to relax with!

Our loos are a pain though, we have the door from our office to where the one male, one female and one disabled loo's are. If your unlucky at your time of need they have already been destroyed (even the girls as theres only 2 on our floor!) So we either pop up stairs to troll the idiots on the other floors with nice smells or the safe haven one in the basement which is all well and good but no hand towels (due to muppets blocking loos with em) and no 3G meaning to interwebs browsing!
 
jas72 said:
hmm I'll add my question as well

Why do grown men throw whole toilet rolls down the toilet in pubs/clubs or smash the seat up?
Click to expand...

Worst I've had at work was some animal unrolled the toilet roll, wiped his backside and then fed the toilet roll back into the dispenser.

Thee are some complete ****wits about, like the ones that pick their nose and wipe it on the walls instead of the tissue 1 foot away from them.
 
mame said:
Something that had made me wonder for a while,

Why do some men walk into the toilets at work or wherever, ignore the urinals and walk into a cubical and **** full bore into the toilet (door open)


That's it really. Why?
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Don't want to pee beside people standing at weird angles at urinals or maybe there is not much room. Why would you care?
 
mrk said:
How is it not unhygenic? There could be any number of things/bacteria/fecal matter on there that live in that region, it could get onto handles you touch, food you eat, other things that other people use (be they children/elderly/the ill etc).

.
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Just how. How does that bacteria get on your hand and onto your phone.
Decal matter? Again where from where the contact path.
Does your top or head suddenly get contaminated when you go for a pee.
 
How many of you wait until the toilet room has cleared until you walk out of the trap?

It's quite funny that when I worked on a factory nobody would be bothered about going into a trap and giving it they've got and walking out and declaring 'wiff that, that's me that is'.
There were even some blokes who would leave the trap door open while they carried on a conversation with somebody by the washing basins.
However, where I work now I can honestly say in 18 months I've never seen anybody walk out of a trap and nobody has seen me because they/I wait until the room is cleared first (or I think that's what they do).
 
A couple of weeks ago I went into the toilets in work as a really fat bloke came out of a stall. It absolutely stunk, it smelt like dog poo does when you tread in it, truly disgraceful smell for a human being to produce.
 
At my work, we only have 2 urinals, and 2 stalls.

The 2 urinals are shockingly close together, so much so that I will always, if someone is currently using one, go to one of the stalls.
 
what annoys me is when i am the only one at a urinal. someone else comes in (usually an old man) and selects the urinal just next to the one i'm at, while ignoring the 5 or 6 other ones.
 
AcidHell2 said:
Just how. How does that bacteria get on your hand and onto your phone.
Decal matter? Again where from where the contact path.
Does your top or head suddenly get contaminated when you go for a pee.
Click to expand...

Sorry I could not see what you're saying because you have germ-smog all around you :p

Do you know the distance from ball sack to anus to bell end? When you fart, do you think that the gas release contains cherry blossom particle or something?
 
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