Speaking of mental women, I was out with a mate tonight for a few drinks, what with me leaving london for the bright lights of, er, Yorkshire.
She sent me a text saying that she was having a cry on the train home because I was leaving.
Clearly mental - I mean, I'm not exactly an Adonis of a man [my body is not so much a temple as it is a funfair], I'm mentally unbalanced [hence leaving London], I'm skint and I'm not the most charming person on the planet - you'd think she'd be grateful for me being too far away to stare at her boobs regularly.
I tried to tell her this, but she sent me a text back saying I was great. and she'd be visiting me oop north ASAP.
Women = bonkers.