Work Toilets

I haz 4090!
Don
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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8,002
Location
Manchester
We have a guy here that has mental issues meaning he can't hold his todger. He leans against the wall and just generally sprays it in the direction of the urinal / toilet. Probably about 2% of the stream hits the target, the rest goes all over the floor / walls. Then he just walks off and leaves it.
 
Associate
Joined
20 Jul 2017
Posts
564
We have a guy here that has mental issues meaning he can't hold his todger. He leans against the wall and just generally sprays it in the direction of the urinal / toilet. Probably about 2% of the stream hits the target, the rest goes all over the floor / walls. Then he just walks off and leaves it.
Why are they employing someone who is a walking health hazard? They shouldn't expect you to share a loo with someone who refuses to comply with basic hygiene standards.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
3 Jun 2012
Posts
10,803
At my old work... one caretaker would have a poop and then not wipe, Nore would he flush.

I walked into a cubical he just used, and on my way in he actually advised me to give it a while as it was still "fresh"... All whilst smiling.

Very odd man.
 
Soldato
Joined
24 Mar 2006
Posts
9,069
What amazes me is the ratio of people needing a piddle to those needing a poop.

Every time I walk into the toilet there is someone in for a poop. But there is deadly silence. No noise. Nothing. Its as though they are not there. What on earth are these people doing?

On several occasions I've walked into the toilets with all three cubicles in use, again silence. I start to unload in one of the urinals and then the door opens for someone to look in, notice the cubicles are all in use and then leaves again.

So a ratio if 4:1 for people needing poop to piddle. Hummmmm. If you need a piddle, you don't need the cubicle! Unless you're wanting too browse through your phone.
 
Associate
Joined
12 Mar 2005
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1,085
Location
bath
hat on earth are these people doing?

Masturbating, obviously. The lack of imagination on this forum is shocking sometimes.

One of my favourite tricks used to be after checking the toilet was empty, go into the first cubicle and lock the door then leave via gap under door.Repeat for all cubicles :D



Finally, be grateful you don't work where my friend does. Some charming character left a perfectly formed (although not for long) stool in a Dyson hand drier in the customer toilets.....................
 
Associate
Joined
26 Feb 2009
Posts
2,301
Location
Norn Iron
What's worse is you go in and find the toilet in a horrific mess, take a pee then leave. Someone passes you on the way out, they'll instantly assume it was you who rekt the place :(
 
Soldato
Joined
11 Sep 2013
Posts
12,300
Hummmmm. If you need a piddle, you don't need the cubicle!
Unless they have certain kind(s) of piercing, in which case it's considered VERY bad manners to use anything but... "Garden Sprinkler" doesn't quite convey how bad it is!!

One of my favourite tricks used to be after checking the toilet was empty, go into the first cubicle and lock the door then leave via gap under door.Repeat for all cubicles :D
Maybe it's just me, but I'd not wanna be even close to touching that floor... never mind sliding along it to fit under doors!!
You can just lock most of these things with a paperclip or Leatherman, you know...

I'm amazed by people putting boggers on the walls.
I know, right?
Why can't they just eat them like any normal human, eh!!
 
Man of Honour
Joined
13 Oct 2006
Posts
90,821
I worked at an areospace factory for a few months and those toilets were often disgusting. I now work in an educational office and it's always super clean.

Nothing worse than when you need to go and someone has left the toilets in horrible state.

I've worked in/on everything from factory floor to executive level floors story it is rarely different except that those more exclusive to management use tend to get a bit more money spent on them/more frequent cleaning schedule.

You really do learn how many people are barely a step removed from the animal from the state of work toilets.
 
Caporegime
Joined
17 Jul 2010
Posts
25,659
I have no problem with those gents who prefer to have a 'shy wee' but 1. Close the bloody door! And 2. Lift the sodding seat. It was only target practice and 'fun' when you were eight.
 
Associate
Joined
2 Jul 2003
Posts
2,436
It's the complete lack of empathy for the cleaner that shocks me, something severely wrong with their character. I don't believe in the death penalty for anything trivial like murder but destroying a work toilet and leaving it when you have the means to sort it should just be a straight up double tap to the head and one to the heart.
 
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