Worst hotel you've ever stayed in?

There’s reason why Britannia are the worst rated hotel chain in the U.K. wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole.
 
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Did A-levels for a year before I went from 6th form to a FE college.

The B&B we stayed in for Geography A-level residential in Swanage was awful. First the showers in the rooms the first one to use them had a nice hot shower then the others had freezing cold showers.

Then the packed lunches we were provided wouldn't fulfil a 5 year old, let alone 17 year olds who walked about 7 miles each day. If you asked for a ham sandwich, you got ONE sandwich made with ONE slice of bread with ONE slice of wafer thin ham and a 200ml juice box. Evening meals were a similar affair - 2 fish fingers, a tablespoon of baked beans and about 7 chips.

Most of the money I took with me was spent on food. Either buying food from a supermarket 5 min walk away from B&B, cone of chips from a chippy at a village along the Chesil Beach and on the final night, two rooms of students, including myself, visited a chinese buffet. The former, we took one of our bags just in case we upset the B&B owners.

The issue with a lack of food when on school residentials isn't an isolated issue with this trip. Infact, my friends had similar experiences themselves and their kids too.
 
Fell asleep on the train from Waterloo and ended up at the end of the line in Southampton. Managed to hail a taxi and asked to be taken to the nearest hotel (I was bladdered and it was 2am) drove me about 500 yds and stopped. I am sure I tipped him.

Man alive, cant remember what the place was. Prostitutes and rooms with a bunkbed thing. I did sleep but with one eye open.

Somewhere in Southend, a hotel on the perimeter of the airfield, must be levelled by now, the room was in a portacabin thing.
 
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So much promise.

Woefully tired, tiny rooms hint at what was once probably a nice hotel 50 years ago. Stayed in summer, suffocatingly hot room with no ventilation and no fans, plus the window only opened an inch.

They've done some work on the foyer but go beyond that and it's a mess.
 
More of a B&B than a hotel, but does finding venomous scorpions in our shoes in the morning count?
Haha... tbh, the B&B was actually very nice - well above what you'd expect for its budget - only that point was a minor shock to the system lol...

Worst that comes to mind was actually a 5* rated hotel in City of London - The Montcalm Royal London House on Finsbury Square.

Had to stay in town for a few weeks when I didn't have my own residence & ended up there. The place itself doesn't seem terrible at first glance & the rooms / matress / etc could be much worse... but the service quality... unimaginably terrible.

I struggle to think of specific examples for now, but it was never-ending and surprising - how that place could secure and maintain a 5* rating is beyond me... seems their reviews on booking.com share similar sentiments. I used to travel for work much more frequently than I do now, often staying in Premier Inns and similar... even though Premier Inn staff aren't supposed to give anything close to 5* service - I would trust their staff, even a tiny old one in the middle of nowhere, to give much better service than The Montcalm. Avoid that place if you're ever searching in the area!
 
Ninco! said:
Fell asleep on the train from Waterloo and ended up at the end of the line in Southampton. Managed to hail a taxi and asked to be taken to the nearest hotel (I was bladdered and it was 2am) drove me about 500 yds and stopped. I am sure I tipped him.
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I remember one of the stories from my old man when he used to go drinking with his mates. They were away in the UK for a golfing trip and was over the road from the hotel in a pub. After a few hours drinking one of them decided it was time to go back to the hotel and jumped in a taxi outside. The taxi went round the block and parked up, guy had no idea.
 
Semple said:
I remember one of the stories from my old man when he used to go drinking with his mates. They were away in the UK for a golfing trip and was over the road from the hotel in a pub. After a few hours drinking one of them decided it was time to go back to the hotel and jumped in a taxi outside. The taxi went round the block and parked up, guy had no idea.
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Me and the missus went to Alvor, Portugal for a week. Booked in to the hotel, (hotel was nice), on the first day decided to go in to Alvor town. Got a taxi. The trip to town took 20 minutes by taxi. A few days later we decided to walk in to town. Took us 10 minutes to walk it :)
 
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Baldbloke said:
Me and the missus went to Alvor, Portugal for a week. Booked in to the hotel, (hotel was nice), on the first day decided to go in to Alvor town. Got a taxi. The trip to town took 20 minutes by taxi. A few days later we decided to walk in to town. Took us 10 minutes to walk it :)
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Taxi took you via the tourist route rather than direct ;) :cry:
 
Semple said:
Taxi took you via the tourist route rather than direct ;) :cry:
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My first trip to Vegas begun with us pulling up at the hotel when all of a sudden blue lights appeared behind. I hastily paid to GTFO and continue my life, when the copper told me we'd basically done a 20$ tour of the industrial site next door for no reason. The chap got cited but I never got any refund. I do have a photo of his taxi license tho.
 
dLockers said:
My first trip to Vegas begun with us pulling up at the hotel when all of a sudden blue lights appeared behind. I hastily paid to GTFO and continue my life, when the copper told me we'd basically done a 20$ tour of the industrial site next door for no reason. The chap got cited but I never got any refund. I do have a photo of his taxi license tho.
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OH That was you was it...So sorry :cry::cry:
 
dLockers said:
My first trip to Vegas begun with us pulling up at the hotel when all of a sudden blue lights appeared behind. I hastily paid to GTFO and continue my life, when the copper told me we'd basically done a 20$ tour of the industrial site next door for no reason. The chap got cited but I never got any refund. I do have a photo of his taxi license tho.
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Yeah you always have to be weary of taxi's abroad. I remember years ago when we were planning a trip to Marrakesh and a load of reviews on trip advisor were warning about the taxi's at the airport are all in the game of milking the tourists, and to agree a fixed price before getting in etc. Luckily we just arranged with the place we were staying at for a pickup.
 
In Asia, old buildings, toilets just a hole in the floor, no shower facilities etc..

I don't think I've ever stayed in a bad hotel in the UK or Europe though, just basic... like I've stayed in a Premier Inn for a night, likewise I've booked a similarly basic independent hotel for a wedding before etc.

For anything longer than a single night though it's not generally too difficult to get a decent hotel or rented apartment, at least in major cities or in developed countries.
 
Semple said:
Yeah you always have to be weary of taxi's abroad. I remember years ago when we were planning a trip to Marrakesh and a load of reviews on trip advisor were warning about the taxi's at the airport are all in the game of milking the tourists, and to agree a fixed price before getting in etc. Luckily we just arranged with the place we were staying at for a pickup.
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Viva la Uber. I used it for the brief period it was allowed in Portugal. It was a fraction of the cost.
 
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