ariel black
Would you SLAP your child..?
- Thread starter Virdi
- Start date
ariel black
Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Jul 2007
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Caporegime
I have never hit my daughter yet, but, in the above situation, I think i probably would also.
Agree with what Roachycal is getting at.
I feel too often, in a given scenario/profession, one wrong action by one person leads to a wide-scale change in the profession, to the detriment of the majority. Wonder if a lot of it is down to how its displayed to us by mass media, but thats another subject entirely...
I feel too often, in a given scenario/profession, one wrong action by one person leads to a wide-scale change in the profession, to the detriment of the majority. Wonder if a lot of it is down to how its displayed to us by mass media, but thats another subject entirely...
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Associate
no, utterly against it. dress it up however you like. it's still wrong. not talking child abuse herre. it will just teach them that that is how you deal with stuff.
Smacking is appropriate in certain circumstances - it is just one of many techniques a parent can use.
When your child is young a smack is far better than a lengthy explanation which they will not understand.
I also feel that a smack delivers a short sharp message but hurts for a very small amount of time.
Other forms of punishments can last far longer and are generally psychological in nature - which can be a lot more damaging.
With my kids (5, 3 and 1) I rarely need to smack any of them. The eldest can now properly understand consequences and I use different techniques on the rare occasion he is very naughty. The middle one is on the edge so will sometimes get a smacked bottom. The youngest is too young and as such never receives a smacked bottom.
The other part to remember is that parents have to be careful between what is playfulness which crosses into naughtyness and what is intentionally naughty. Each need to be dealt with differently.
Instill discipline and obedience at an early age and usually truly naughty behaviour becomes a rare thing. (Although I only have limited experience so teenage years will no doubt prove me to be wrong!!)
Yes i would.
A small slap never hurt anyone.
Kids are more shocked then hurt anyway.
My mum broke a few spoons and brushes over my arse as a kid
I'm not going to read this whole thread but this is a key point I think. Using a slap on the arms or legs to SHOCK an out of control child into a different state of mind is always acceptable. If anyone reading this has never had children they simply would not be able to understand the angry furious out-of-control animal-like state a toddler can work itself into.
What I don't like to see is out of control parents slapping their children out of sheer frustration and anger. This can never be right.
Soldato
Okay Okay own up -Who derailed the thread???
I own up because I aimed it towards schools
Associate
As a quick message that a child has done wrong a smack is definately ONE of the MANY techniques that can (and should) be used, but not over used and not just because a parent doen't know what else to do.
Fluffy
Fluffy
Caporegime
I would slap my child(ren) in extreme circumstances i.e. if they're doing something very dangerous that they have to stop and learn very quickly that they mustn't do again.
For general naughtiness, a stern voice is usually enough. Failing that, there's the naughty step.
Our daughter is nearly 3 now and we've got this far without employing physical correction, but I'd never rule it out because one day I might need it.
For general naughtiness, a stern voice is usually enough. Failing that, there's the naughty step.
Our daughter is nearly 3 now and we've got this far without employing physical correction, but I'd never rule it out because one day I might need it.
Soldato
My dad used to belt me and my mum always hit me with a wooden spoon 
Caporegime
Late comer.
I covered this 4 pages ago
Why take the mick when you were late yourself, as i had already addressed it
Caporegime
First I've heard of this.
Does it work?
Never heard of the naughty step? Where have you been!
Sit your child on the bottom step and leave them there for 1 minute for each year of their age. When that's done, go and tell them what they did wrong and ask them to apologise.
Works great for us. I imagine it's harder with kids who are a bit far gone and won't stay put. Friends of ours used to have to put their daughter in the porch with the doors shut or she'd just do a runner.
Never would, and neither would my wife. I've found (in the 2 years we've had Aleksander) that a timeout is far more effective as it gives him time to calm down (plus when he's older, time to reflect on what he's done).
I'm of the opinion that slapping/hitting a child when they've been naughty just reinforces that you solve problems by lashing out (which when you see some parents smacking their children is all they are really doing, venting their frustration at the poor behaviour).
I'm sure I'll be called soft and told that if half the kids out there were given a slap we'd have less ruffians running round, but that's bull - I believe they're mostly like that because they've had no consistency in discipline from their parents (if I had a pound for every time I've seen a parent threaten their child with something and then not follow through on that threat I'd be buying luxury cars Spie style).
All I know is that we can take a child currently going throug the "terrible two's" to a nice restaurant safe in the knowledge that, apart from maybe a quick walk round if a course takes ages to come, he'll be sat down the entire time interacting with us and enjoying himself (and not throwing food/screaming/causing other patrons to not enjoy their meal). It's quite a nice feeling when you see people who looked quite annoyed initially at being sat down next to a "family" complimenting you on having such a well behaved child as you get up to leave.
Of course, after typing that it's all going to go downhill!
I'm of the opinion that slapping/hitting a child when they've been naughty just reinforces that you solve problems by lashing out (which when you see some parents smacking their children is all they are really doing, venting their frustration at the poor behaviour).
I'm sure I'll be called soft and told that if half the kids out there were given a slap we'd have less ruffians running round, but that's bull - I believe they're mostly like that because they've had no consistency in discipline from their parents (if I had a pound for every time I've seen a parent threaten their child with something and then not follow through on that threat I'd be buying luxury cars Spie style).
All I know is that we can take a child currently going throug the "terrible two's" to a nice restaurant safe in the knowledge that, apart from maybe a quick walk round if a course takes ages to come, he'll be sat down the entire time interacting with us and enjoying himself (and not throwing food/screaming/causing other patrons to not enjoy their meal). It's quite a nice feeling when you see people who looked quite annoyed initially at being sat down next to a "family" complimenting you on having such a well behaved child as you get up to leave.
Of course, after typing that it's all going to go downhill!
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Caporegime
I wouldn't do it for general naughtiness, but for dangerous things I think it's justifiable. If - as someone said earlier - a child runs headlong into the street without looking, then a smack is fair enough, because a little bit of pain to associate with that sort of foolish behaviour is a good thing, because there'll be a hell of a lot more pain if they do it at the wrong time.
As much as anything, physical correction should be kept to a minimum, otherwise it loses it's impact.
Associate
2 point -
Firstly I completely agree the main thing is a constant line about action and reaction (so true from school as well as I am a teacher, but I can't hit the kids
).Secondly damn, I want Spie's car...
Fluffy