Your worst holiday experience?

Lads skiing holiday to Bulgaria early 2000's.

Got badly drunk on wine in the hotel bar (approx 20p per bottle!!)

Went to the loo and took one gulp of very icy fresh air thru the open window and was immediatly very very sick in the nearest thing i could find - which was a tiny sink. Turned on the tap to flush it all away only to find the sink was blocked with what i had thrown up - at this point the whole mess was overflowing onto the floor. I am about to drunkenly leg it when the door opens and a very big Bulgarian bar staff bloke comes in. To my surprise he just laughs and plunges his hand into the overflowing bowl - wiggles around with his hand and unblocks the whole thing.

The same night me and my two mates get talking to a nurse from Cardiff......but thats another story :D
 
m4rmite said:
Greenfields you say?:cool:
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A week before we went I was on a Gran Canaria Group and somebody asked the question "Me and my husband are coming to GC in June, we are swingers and want to know the best hotel?". There was at least 20 replies saying Greenfields :)
I was sitting with 4x rough Scots who had just arrived and had no idea, a bloke approached them and started to chat them up but they were so taken aback they were like little kids.
They looked at me and said "What's going on?".
I said I'll take one of them somewhere and we caught the lift to the top floor and then walked the last bit to the rooftop where they were all in the nude doing things :)

Seriously this was the bloke chatting them up and they are sitting to the left :)

IMG_20240520_160924196.jpg
 
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RetiredGreyFox said:
A week before we went I was on a Gran Canaria Group and somebody asked the question "Me and my husband are coming to GC in June, we are swingers and want to know the best hotel?". There was at least 20 replies saying Greenfields :)
I was sitting with 4x rough Scots who had just arrived and had no idea, a bloke approached them and started to chat them up but they were so taken aback they were like little kids.
They looked at me and said "What's going on?".
I said I'll take one of them somewhere and we caught the lift to the top floor and then walked the last bit to the rooftop where they were all in the nude doing things :)

Seriously this was the bloke chatting them up and they are sitting to the left :)

IMG_20240520_160924196.jpg
Click to expand...
I think he's got that on backwards
 
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Nothing overly disastrous for me, but the last week of March 2020 that I had booked off work as annual leave was also the same week that we got grounded by Boris. I didn't have much planned except for day trips as I was using up the rest of my annual leave, just that it was now wasted AL due to the stay-at-home order.

It's never much fun being the "fifth wheel" on a holiday. That's where 2 couples and 1 singleton share the car to the holiday destination, so me being the singleton is termed the fifth wheel. France 2014. Got to the holiday cottage ok. One couple went out every day, leaving me behind with the other couple who did nothing except for watching French TV. 5 days of this being sat at the TV downstairs or stuck in my "room" upstairs which had no door as it was just an annex of other rooms.

Final one I can think of was a short break rather than a holiday. Birmingham, July 2005. The 7.7.2005 attacks in London had just happened earlier on in the week so the UK was on high alert. I still went ahead with the Birmingham weekend with clubbing in Digbeth at a techno event at the Sanctuary (now called the O2 Institute). Got to about 11PM and the club was starting to fill up, then the DJ suddenly stopped in his tracks (pun not intended!) and the main lights came on. We all got told to leave as there were bomb threats across Birmingham. Police were waiting outside and told us to go to Aston University, bit of a trek away from Digbeth. So we all walked together as a big group and got to the uni ok, then the uni staff ushered us into a lecture theatre where we were allowed to stay for the night and use their drinks vending machines free of charge. I think I did sleep but not for long. At around 8AM Sunday morning, we were able to leave, collect belongings from hotels and check out.
 
I once went backpacking, stayed in a hostel dorm room in Nimbin, SE Australia - a place notorious for stoners/weed.

Smoked an incredible amount of skunk, got drunk in a pub with some irish lads, went out to a nightclub and passed out in a corner in a pool of my own vomit. I was frogmarched to the entrance by the bouncers and thrown onto the pavement. Laid there for god knows how long, then somehow staggered back to the hostel. Passed out, then woke up to hear two in the dorm shagging in one of the nearby beds. Someone shouted at them to get out and screw somewhere else, I'm not even sure it was me. Woke up a few hours later with an incredible hangover, to find an old presumably used condom down the side of my pillow (not mine) from the previous occupant that I hadn't noticed when I checked in.

Suffice to say, I checked out pretty fast and moved on to Sydney.
 
RetiredGreyFox said:
A week before we went I was on a Gran Canaria Group and somebody asked the question "Me and my husband are coming to GC in June, we are swingers and want to know the best hotel?". There was at least 20 replies saying Greenfields :)
I was sitting with 4x rough Scots who had just arrived and had no idea, a bloke approached them and started to chat them up but they were so taken aback they were like little kids.
They looked at me and said "What's going on?".
I said I'll take one of them somewhere and we caught the lift to the top floor and then walked the last bit to the rooftop where they were all in the nude doing things :)

Seriously this was the bloke chatting them up and they are sitting to the left :)

IMG_20240520_160924196.jpg
Click to expand...
I must live an innocent life because I never thought this **** went on. I thought this was the stuff of villages. Not sure how the heck I’m going to sleep now. I feel like that poor bloke from fear and loathing.
 
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Holidaying on the Greek island of Kos in 2017 when a 6.7 quake hit Bodrum, Turkey, which was only 4km away.

Bam! I awoke in the middle of the night with the Mrs screaming and a huge rumbling sound. The two single beds we'd pushed together (we'd booked a double but got a twin) were separating by about a foot and crashing back together. Bits of plaster was dropping on us and dust was everywhere. Everyone else in the hotel seemed to be screaming too, and there was screaming and shouting outside.

We were on the first floor, and as a hill sloped down towards the beach outside, the drop was only about 10 feet. A balcony jump was doable, but the OH wasn't having it.

So we left the room and went downstairs, clambering over fallen shelves and furniture as we went through the foyer. Basically anything freestanding had gone over.

Outside, we crossed the road and joined a group of people on the grass by the beach, away from the buildings. The rumbling subsided and the hotel staff brought out blankets, but wouldn't let us back into the hotel. Fire engines and police cars were racing past along the seafront in both directions.

The aftershocks were strange. The rumbling sound would return, the ground would start shaking, lampposts lurching around, then fade away. It was like being above a giant underground train tunnel with huge trains passing beneath.

We stayed outside on the grass all night until mid morning, and after a fireman had gone into the hotel we were allowed to return. There were cracks zigzagging across the walls in our room, and dust was everywhere. Unbeknown to us, all new buildings in Kos built after 1984 must be earthquake proof. Luckily, our hotel was one of them.

Some people died in a nearby hotel :(

The locals were remarkably pragmatic about the whole thing and set about cleaning up as best they could. The local restaurant we'd been frequenting lost most of their booze but was open the day after. We still had two days left until our return flight, so got on with the rest of our holiday, not doing anything special, just riding our rented bicycles and spending time on the beach.

A number of holidaymakers in our hotel had decided to bin it and head home straight away. A holiday rep visited to ask what we were doing, and warned that the airport coach transfers were all messed up due to plans being changed etc.

So we researched the bus service and on the final day we got a taxi to the bus station and caught a bus to the airport, which was in chaos with people sat about on the floor waiting everywhere.

The problem was, apart from the surge in last minute flight requests, that we were still getting frequent aftershocks, and each time this happened they suspended flights until the runway was inspected, delaying things further. I remember the departures boards gently swinging after each aftershock and watching them, waiting to see where our flight was.

We finally took off about eight hours after scheduled takeoff and I must admit it was a relief to be off the island.

Believe it or not we did enjoy our holiday, but the earthquake bit wasn't great :)
 
mid_gen said:
As it close to my connecting flight I had to take drastic measures, and just ate 3 quarter pounders with cheese in one sitting. This seemed to plug me up thank god and I was able to get on my connection.
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3 quarter pounders on top of the demonic diarrhoea?! Christ I got sweaty thinking of that, bit of a gamble hoping that'd plug you? If that were me I'd have been liquified.
 
Biggilus said:
3 quarter pounders on top of the demonic diarrhoea?! Christ I got sweaty thinking of that, bit of a gamble hoping that'd plug you? If that were me I'd have been liquified.
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Those attuned to biology and, oddly, snooker will know that the human body is a fine precision instrument requiring ballast, balance and bombast. Diarrhoea is 'flattened' by the cheeseburger blanket, providing a safe, 'arms around the grenade' safety net, much in the same way that any more or less than exactly 4 pints will turn you from Hendry into Hend-no when playing the snooker game.

However, watch out when coffee is in the mix! This witch cocktail will seep through the burger duvet and result in a poo shambles and you can forget about getting that 147 clean break. Bad mistake, more like!

If you've enjoyed this commentary don't forget to like and subscribe (or poop and double wipe).
 
bainbridge said:
Holidaying on the Greek island of Kos in 2017 when a 6.7 quake hit Bodrum, Turkey, which was only 4km away.
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Not gonna lie I do hope to experience a higher magnitude earthquake. There's always very low ones in my little part of Sweden and I've noticeably felt 1 for barely 10 seconds but Earthquakes and a proper tornado I need to try :p

My worst well, all I can think of is a dude trying to pickpocket me in a lift literally not even 30 mins after leaving Barcelona airport and taking a metro to the hotel.
Honestly I was at defcon 2 for the rest of the holiday and that really made me a party pooper.
 
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It was about 2014 or 2015, and I went with my girlfriend at the time to Sunny Beach in Bulgaria for a two-week holiday. It must have been some kind of mid-life crisis, because we spent a lot of the time on those awful "Happy Viking" pub crawls, drinking competitions, chavs, the works. It was something I should have been doing 15 years previously, not at the time.

But anyway, on the last night, against my advice, we decided to go on another one of these bar crawls, and I got extremely drunk. When I woke up in the morning, I was quite fragile. I checked the time of our transfer bus downstairs, and it was two hours earlier than we were expecting it to be. They'd changed the times. So we had to get ready much quicker than we'd anticipated, and I was feeling seriously fragile.

Sat outside in the baking sun waiting for this bus to turn up, I started to get that weird feeling you get when you know you're going to be sick later. That inevitability. It's a kind of weird pressure, like a tingling feeling almost above your forehead, above your eyes, on your brows. I started to feel uncomfortable and realised, "I'm in trouble here."

My girlfriend kindly offered to go and get me a drink from a nearby shop. I said, "Thank you very much," expecting maybe a water, a fizzy water, or a Coke—something like that. She came back with a can of Monster. I'd been drinking vodka and Monster the previous night. Against my better judgment, I opened it, and as soon as I cracked the can open, it all came flooding back mentally. It was at this point I realised I was not going to be able to just breathe my way through this one.

The coach turned up. The ride from Sunny Beach to Burgas Airport is not actually that far, but the coach was softly sprung with a very wallowy suspension, and I was dizzy by the time we got there. I was almost hyperventilating, breathing very deeply in and out. I had to sit in the middle of the back seats so that I could see the road to try and stop myself from getting more motion sick. While I was on this coach bobbing up and down, my girlfriend was rubbing my back and asked, "Are you okay?" I was like, "No, I am not okay. Don't touch me."

By the time we got to Burgas Airport, as the bus was driving in through the road network outside, I was thinking, "Please, please, please, please, please, don't let there be a queue. I need to get off this bus in seconds or I'm going to puke my guts out." I ran to the front of the bus like a scalded cat. I left her to do the suitcases—I just couldn't face it. As soon as we stopped, I ran into the airport, straight into the toilet.

Thank god there was one cubicle free. I emptied myself with a technicolour yawn. And then, 30 seconds later, it was pouring out of the other end. It sounded like someone chucking 5 litres of casserole down a drain.

Luckily, I had managed to rotate myself, whip my shorts off before I dumped this enormous payload into the toilet. The noise and the smell were horrendous. I flushed. And then I spun around and puked again into the toilet. It was absolutely horrific. I hadn't been so sick after alcohol since I was probably about 18.

Feeling significantly better and significantly lighter after this experience, I came out of the toilet pasty-faced. She asked if I was okay. I said, "I've had better days." Ha!

We went to check in, and then there was an announcement that our flight was going to be delayed. First, they said it was going to be three hours. The aircraft—a Tupolev Tu-154 used by Balkan Holidays (BH Air, something like that?)—had broken down, and they had no other aircraft. So we were going to be stuck there. Then they announced it would be six hours, and then they said the delay would actually be seven hours.

Finally, they told us that they were going to put two flights into one. They were going to combine our flight to East Midlands with a flight going to Gatwick and do a double touch. They were going to land at Gatwick, let all the Gatwick passengers off, and then fly to East Midlands from Gatwick and let the rest of us off.

Seven and a half hours later, when this Tu-154 finally arrived, I had the noisiest, loudest, hottest, most crowded, cramped flight. Normally I'd have been quite excited about flying on a Tu-154—a bit of Russian hardware—but I just couldn't enjoy it because my head was still spinning. I was convinced I was going to puke at any second or crap myself on the plane.

We eventually did land at Gatwick, and it was absolute chaos. They had no idea which passengers were disembarking and which ones were not. It was a disaster. Endless checks and rechecks of passenger manifests etc etc. They didn't know what to do about the luggage, it was all mixed. A right mess. We were at Gatwick for something like two hours, just sat on the runway.

Eventually, we got back into East Midlands at some stupid hour. I can't remember exactly when, as it was a long time ago, but we got back into East Midlands at some mental time.

So, yeah, overall, not the best holiday experience. Actually, it had been quite fun up to that point, but yeah... the last day definitely took the edge off it a little bit.
 
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Efour said:
Not gonna lie I do hope to experience a higher magnitude earthquake. There's always very low ones in my little part of Sweden and I've noticeably felt 1 for barely 10 seconds but Earthquakes and a proper tornado I need to try :p

My worst well, all I can think of is a dude trying to pickpocket me in a lift literally not even 30 mins after leaving Barcelona airport and taking a metro to the hotel.
Honestly I was at defcon 2 for the rest of the holiday and that really made me a party pooper.
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I'm sure I've visited a science museum that had an earthquake simulator that you could crank up the magnitude, probably wasn't possible to get to the insanely high numbers, and you were obviously safe from the building not giving way and killing you, but you at least got to feel the effects of it.
 
RetiredGreyFox said:
A week before we went I was on a Gran Canaria Group and somebody asked the question "Me and my husband are coming to GC in June, we are swingers and want to know the best hotel?". There was at least 20 replies saying Greenfields :)
I was sitting with 4x rough Scots who had just arrived and had no idea, a bloke approached them and started to chat them up but they were so taken aback they were like little kids.
They looked at me and said "What's going on?".
I said I'll take one of them somewhere and we caught the lift to the top floor and then walked the last bit to the rooftop where they were all in the nude doing things :)

Seriously this was the bloke chatting them up and they are sitting to the left :)

IMG_20240520_160924196.jpg
Click to expand...

Aarrrggghh!!!! MY EYES !!!!
 
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Egypt, mainly because of flight cancellations we had to overnight in Glasgow.

Yes it was just like the Garth Marenghi scene. But luckily no mist has appears at home yet.
 
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Probably Lanzarote 2004. Went with my brother and my mate. Mate was walking back from the club on his own at 2am and was robbed by an Algerian guy, took everything , his passport etc so the entire holiday was spent sorting all that crap out.
 
Was on holiday in Fuerteventura and drove to a secluded beach, parked up and got out to walk down to the beach. Passing through some dunes and up ahead we saw something odd we couldnt make out as we were too far away, carried on walking and got to the point we realised what it was. It was a granny bent over, backside towards us stark naked. The wife and I were like wtf, took a diversion towards the beach and soon realised it was a nudist beach and it was populated with old people with their bits hanging out all over the place. We left pretty sharpish
 
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