I'm going to build a space station

Von Smallhausen · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:25

Bennie-Mac said:
It seems were all out of Harpic Kakaway, will Vanish Poopaway do boss?

Bennie, you have the toilet bridge while I am having inter-dimensional quandaries.

Don't forget that we are running low on wipes.

Cosimo · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:29

Capn' $qu!ff said:
Not a Traitor. Sombody Killed the original me who was about to exact revenge but I the clone stopped this from happening

Sir you are a disgrace to your uniform, the crew and the fleet:

Capn' $qu!ff said:
so basically your ****ed unless I'm still alive as you see I have the codes, DNA, retina & Fingerprints to disarm the devices . This is the price whoever killed me will pay ... oh as will the rest of the crew too!

Security will deal with you.

Commander Massage.

^TANK^ · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:32

Can I be added as the cross dressing lolly pop lady/man please iamdjdz :eek:

.

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:38

simulatorman said:
Sir you are a disgrace to your uniform, the crew and the fleet:

No I'm Paranoid someones always out to get me and I have to prepare for such eventualities as being murdered by fellow crew members which in this particular instance happened so I'm not the traitor whomever disposed of me is.

Fortunatly the emergency cloning facility I've hidden in the hull around G deck was up and running. The Nukes were a Failsafe incase the cloning facility didn't work. After all If I'm going down I'm gonna take the Perpertrator with me!

Glaucus · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:42

platypus said:
Dear All,

You may have noticed the lights flickering recently, not to worry but I've just been testing the Mega-laser of Death on nearby asteroids. Unfortunately we may have an angry alien race attacking us soon as one of my underlings mis-aimed and blew up a colonised moon on the starboard bow.

Anyway, the news is good - the Mega-laser of Death kills things!

Sincerely,
Platypus - Mega-laser of death Commander.

reporting in,
All rail guns are 100% charged and ready to meet the Alien attack head on. In combination with the Mega-Laser of Death we have a formidable defence and the crew are in high spirits of a swift and brutal win.

Yours
AcidHell2
Rail Gun operator

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:49

AcidHell2 said:
reporting in,
All rail guns are 100% charged and ready to meet the Alien attack head on. In combination with the Mega-Laser of Death we have a formidable defence and the crew are in high spirits of a swift and brutal win.

Yours
AcidHell2
Rail Gun operator

Before my predecessors brief meeting with the vacume of space I can Confirm all Immovable Impenitrable Substance 2 Hull modifications were completed and we now have enough strength in the Hull plating to take on 3 enemy fleets at once without so much as gaining a scratch.( This Is assuming a fleet would be comprised of 5-6 cruisers and 50-80 Starfighters)

Brian Stuart · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:49

Von Smallhausen said:
URGENT.

While on G deck, I was whisked into an anomaly and I seem to be in another unrealistic dimension as the Lib Dems are in power and their leader is a Gorilla who speaks perfect English.

Science officer .... please advise.

That was not an anomaly, you have just gone mad. Its a medic you need not a Science Officer

m0r94n · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:52

Brian Stuart said:
That was not an anomaly, you have just gone mad. Its a medic you need not a Science Officer

Exactly, I would have sanctioned funds to repair any break in the ships hull. Well, assuming we have any money at all that is...

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:55

m0r94n said:
Exactly, I would have sanctioned funds to repair any break in the ships hull. Well, assuming we have any money at all that is...

No need to worry your pretty little bank account I've got the Hull plating covered plus any hull breach I'd be the first to Find out.

Cosimo · 2 Apr 2009 at 15:56

Capn' $qu!ff said:
No I'm Paranoid someones always out to get me and I have to prepare for such eventualities as being murdered by fellow crew members which in this particular instance happened so I'm not the traitor whomever disposed of me is.

Fortunatly the emergency cloning facility I've hidden in the hull around G deck was up and running. The Nukes were a Failsafe incase the cloning facility didn't work. After all If I'm going down I'm gonna take the Perpertrator with me!

Star Directive: 21010493-9583:

Any clone found to display paranoid tendencies will be dealt with by the recycling unit.

Gilly · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:00

I wish to raise a formal complaint with HR. We've all been attacked by a single entity and he is still present.

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:01

simulatorman said:
Star Directive: 21010493-9583:

Any clone found to display paranoid tendencies will be dealt with by the recycling unit.

Capn' $qu!ff Directive 124: Just as clearly states mess with the paranoid clone and you'll be dooming the crew once more!

m0r94n · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:02

Capn' $qu!ff said:
No need to worry your pretty little bank account

I have to worry, else the investors get nervous. And if they get nervous, we'll... you can say goodbye to the adult material!

Steve2000 · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:04

Where's the Equality and Diversity Officer? I'll report you if you don't have one.

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:05

m0r94n said:
I have to worry, else the investors get nervous. And if they get nervous, we'll... you can say goodbye to the adult material!

I said I've got the Finances for The Hull plating covered ...well I do unless Gilly and Stimman continue to threaten my existence then you'll have more than hull plating to worry about!

Glaucus · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:05

Capn' $qu!ff said:
Impenitrable Substance 2 Hull

dear Capn' $qu!ff,
I am requesting supplies of Impenetrable Substance 2, for our research program for alternative warhead design. As I feel that however good our amour is we still need top rate weaponry. After all in such a big universe we have no idea what weapons alien aggressors might pose to your illustrious and well tested amour.

AcidHell2
Rail Gun Operator.

antijoke · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:06

Reconnaissance report.

After several scans of the local star systems, a planet in the Nebula region of Kracus has displayed signs of intelligent life. These life forms are also showing signs that they are a race made up entirely of females. Early indications show no signs of aggression, I have designated an out of the way landing zone due south of what appears to be the main colony, which would provide suitable cover to survey the race further.

Cosimo · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:07

Gilly said:
I wish to raise a formal complaint with HR. We've all been attacked by a single entity and he is still present.

The sooner the better, this clone is now completely out of control:

Capn' $qu!ff said:
Capn' $qu!ff Directive 124: Just as clearly states mess with the paranoid clone and you'll be dooming the crew once more!

I trust that the high command will deal with this matter with the utmost urgency.

The Dread Pirate · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:09

AcidHell2
No problem I have lots to spare. Also would you like me to send over some of Impenetrable Immovable Substance 3 once I've finished the stress tests?

Capn' $qu!ff
Hull Plating Engineer, Stations Composer & Rapidly becoming"Resident Paranoid Megalomaniac"

Glaucus · 2 Apr 2009 at 16:11

Capn' $qu!ff said:
AcidHell2
No problem I have lots to spare. Also would you like me to send over some of Impenetrable Immovable Substance 3 once I've finished the stress tests?

"

It would be most fantastic if you could as soon as final stress testing is finished.