Does everyone front happiness...

[James_N]

I should have been a shrink, I take great care, comfort and interest in other peoples problems, yet I ignore my own because I feel I can't help me - yet I can help others and often do.

I'm accomplished at mediating for people, I have all the answers, yet these answers don't apply to my own physiology and psychology.

I haven't read the whole thread yet but i read that and thought "thats me".

Im great at sorting other peoples crap out, but when it comes to my own, im totally useless. And yes, 99.99% of the time, im a grumpy old sod too, especially at this time of year!

 

[ChroniC]

I haven't read the whole thread yet but i read that and thought "thats me".

Im great at sorting other peoples crap out, but when it comes to my own, im totally useless. And yes, 99.99% of the time, im a grumpy old sod too, especially at this time of year!

Sounds, like me too. Everyone looks at me first to solve their problems, and I ignore my own, often because I somehow hope that someone will help me for a change. (helping others gives me satisfaction but helping myself feels like a chore and i get bored quickly)
It gets me down at times, that no one cares, or people in general are selfish.
My biggest problem seems to be delusions that everything will sort itself out, when I know its down to me to sort it.

 

[*Moangroan*]

I think everyone fronts happiness.

But people do things (they call it keeping busy) to stop thinking about stuff that matters or questions what you are told.

The nature of living and possibilty of dying the next day or next minute creates fear and suffering.

We constantly replay drama after drama (games...pubs films etc etc) we know not else what to do.

We usually pick a partener that fails into our comfort zone who will reinforce what you want to hear. ''oh your very sexy...I think your smart...they dont understand you''

Any guru or spiritual teacher worth their salt will tell you you are in a constant search for happiness. It takes up most of your time.

All YOU do is talk talk talk then think think think. And then you think think think. If you truely enlightened and happy what would there be to think of you would already know it.

 

[James_N]

Sounds, like me too. Everyone looks at me first to solve their problems, and I ignore my own, often because I somehow hope that someone will help me for a change. (helping others gives me satisfaction but helping myself feels like a chore and i get bored quickly)
It gets me down at times, that no one cares, or people in general are selfish.
My biggest problem seems to be delusions that everything will sort itself out, when I know its down to me to sort it.

Exactly. Although I do have a few people I can turn too day or night, that will listen to any crap that i want to spout, or have a rant. Im sure you too have one or two genuine friends that would be there for you anytime.

When it comes to friends, its quality, not quantity.

Although i do know what you mean about helping people out, hoping that you will get help when you need it in return. Most times though, that help never comes, only like I say, from one or two genuine friends.

 

[Surfer]

Sara - there's nothing pompous about opening up on a public forum and asking questions, surely?

Have you told your friends about how you are feeling? Or is it easier to open up to strangers on the internet?

Always find it strange when people do this tbh.


If you find yourself bored or not stimulated enough by life then you) need to change things. Change lifestyle/work etc. We are masters of our own fate no scratch that......

I think the world is a beautiful AND TERRIBLE, intensely (and endlessly) fascinating place. Every single day i see something that leaves me awestruck or something that is very touching that is when i am able to keep a connection to reality... i find reality fractured and broken....cut off from everything... i ts like solitary confinement and yet at the same time you are surrounded and crammed in on all sides by people...bodies...words come out of their mouthes...meaningless words nothings..

The opposite can also be true unfortunately usually something some humans have done that is very sad and depressing e.g. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/dorset/8405586.stm

 

[Energize]

Being alone sucks, I think it's one of the main reasons I am so unhappy.

Not many people really know what it's like to have no one they can talk to, no one they can "open up" to, especialy when you get to a point when you are too paranoid to even open up to your family, opening up to a complete stranger is equally as difficult and you've already made it nearly impossible to get to know people because your so used to the idea of not having anyone that you eitehr don't notice oppotunities to get involved with others or you simply don't want to or don't think you could deal with it.

I've spent the past 2 years like this, 2 years spent pretty much alone, oh I've had the occasional fling with a girl I've met but it never goes anywhere, I go climbing with people occasionly but never really get to know them even if I try and they never make an effort to get to know me. I still live at home (though moving out next year) and I work with people who are all in their late twenties so it is very difficult to really be a part of anything social, I try but again, nothing ever really comes of it.

However, I am trying to move on, I'm changing jobs and looking for something that is more appropriate for someone my age, finding somewhere else to live where I have more contact with other people and then try and figure out what I want to do with my life.

It's just very difficult to really have any motivation, its just gotten to a point where I can't be arsed with not being arsed to do anything.

I'm the same, I have no motivation whatsoever, I put it down to a lack of dopamine because amphetamine makes me normal again.

 

[Anominity]

Don't understand all the hangups about being alone. :/

Do it for a few more years then get back to us :S

 

[Jonny L]

Have you told your friends about how you are feeling? Or is it easier to open up to strangers on the internet?

Always find it strange when people do this tbh.

I personally find it easier to open up to strangers on the internet, mainly because I have no personal attatchment to them, so I know that nothing I say will have any negative affect on them mentally, physically or socialy. Also if those around me don't know how I feel, they are not constantly trying to be careful around me or trying to make me cheer up etc, I can act happy and am satisfied that they are non the wiser or worse off for it.

As others have also said, I am always much more content when helping others than myself. For instance, I have a history presentation to give tomorrow that I am still working on now, but the yesterday I sat with a mate who does accounting and finance and helped him find loads of facts and figures about the videogames industry etc, at which point I felt content. People say you have to help yourself before you can help others, but I find the opposite a more satisfactory state of affairs.

 

[Bleek]

Have you told your friends about how you are feeling? Or is it easier to open up to strangers on the internet?

Always find it strange when people do this tbh.

I've done both, for some clarity.

 

[beh]

I often wonder if it's an issue of intellect, life would be so simple if I were an idiot. I supposedly have a very high IQ compared to the average person, I didn't realise it would taunt and torture me so.

"As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make lots of graphs." - LS

enjoy the simple things in life

Aye.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

I haven't read the responses but surely I can't be the only one who is pretty damn happy with their lot?

 

[Stewy]

This thread is rather deep

Anyway yeah can't solve your problem but you do sound ridiculously arrogant which I can't imagine helps...

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

^ I don't know about arrogant but the wording is overly complex for relatively straight forward points. Hopefully this isn't intentional.

 

[Curunen]

Answering the OP: yes, I suppose everyone does. Total empathy is often not possible (understandably), and often the individual themselves may not be fully aware of their situation. So in that way it is easier to keep most things to oneself, and share deeply with a few people on the same wavelength.

 

[silvercut]

lol. I think you have probably decided subconsciously not to be happy. I think honest threads like these where you express your feelings are a good step to understanding yourself and your emotions.

I have great enthusiasm and joy for life - and I am blessed to say that - and I find it unfortunate that not everyone is cheerful and happy like me. I think the doom and gloom attitude and negativity of some people is just such a waste.

 

[Tonyator]

Welcome to the club.

Oddly I know exactly how you feel, I've felt pretty much like that for around 6 years, not "depressed" as such just unhappy all the time, it's gotton to a point now where I have to force myself to be enthusiastic and happy for other peoples sake.

It's not very nice.

I'm the same... although only for the last 6 months. Tbh though I think it'll continue.

 

[Hxc]

First post sounds very, very much like I tend to feel most of the time. I put on a front to the world most of the time :/

 

[Tonyator]

My Motto is ....

Happy on the Outside

tbh I think it's about right.

 

[Stewy]

I don't think I'm old enough to appreciate the depression in this thread

 

[Radiation]

Happiness is based on your thought patterns and inner self more than anything, we don't realise the power we have to alter our consciousness, we base most of our thoughts and our current sense of happiness on incoming sensory perception, the memories of passed experiences and what we would like to have in the future, most of this means we're rarely in the moment and even when we are from time to time, we again base our sense of should i be or am i happy on whats going on in that moment, so its the thought patterns you need to focus on altering if you want to genuinely improve and be happy.

What's cool is its actually possible to feel better than just merely happy this way, you can feel amazing and like you own at life without actually having any real world external input if you just learn to think it and feel it, it's just like when you hear a great piece of music and it raises your emotions, taking notice of your thoughts and doing this regularly will have a positive effect with your life in general as well, the brain is powerful computer and you're the programmer of your own source code!