**The Mental Health Thread**

bulb66 said:
Hey all,

As anyone had an experience with requesting to work from home? I honestly think it's something my job role would allow for (Attending work HQ one day a week to pick up stuff). I also think it would be good for me mental health wise, I'm just not sure if it's something my boss would go for, it's a small company and he's young so might not understand my reasons for requesting it (He knows I suffer with mental health issues). I've found a example letter via the mind.org website, but the website and letter quotes mental health disability and the protection of the Equality Act and I'm not sure if that's applicable?

Thanks in advance,

James.
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i wouldn't jump in and ask for 4 days a week working from home. suggest 1 or 2 days a week and you can maybe up it in future.
personally i think 3 is more than enough, you need the interaction with people on the other 2 and it gets you out and about.
i work 2 days a week at home and love it. no commute, home early (really early :p) and gives me more time to get exercise and me time
ask nicely and don't take advantage if you do get it. do what's expected and then you can be trusted to work from home
 
Hey, I've just been diagnosed with "mild depression" and put on sertraline, 50mg doses.

I think it's been going on a while, I've often been quite apathetic about whether I live or not, though never had any thoughts about actually harming myself.

Lately though, my job has been stressful beyond belief and I spiralled out of control to the point several people told me to go and see a doctor.

After a take over I needed to be very high level and strategic to guide my team of 12 through the transition, but all I could do was focus on relatively irrelevant details and everything seemed impossible.

Any time I got to myself, rather than crack on with sorting out the house I bought last year and needs work or building my kit car, I'd just sleep or lie in bed reading.

Day 4 of the meds and I'm struggling, though that was half expected, I've eaten practically nothing, feel like I've got mild flu (maybe linked to not eating much).

The good thing is, just admitting I had a problem and talking to people has helped already, although I feel rubbish now, I'm not dwelling on it and am waiting for the effects to take hold, I can rationalise this as my body adjusting, being rational wasn't something I was very good at of late.
 
wesimmo said:
Hey, I've just been diagnosed with "mild depression" and put on sertraline, 50mg doses.

I think it's been going on a while, I've often been quite apathetic about whether I live or not, though never had any thoughts about actually harming myself.

Lately though, my job has been stressful beyond belief and I spiralled out of control to the point several people told me to go and see a doctor.

After a take over I needed to be very high level and strategic to guide my team of 12 through the transition, but all I could do was focus on relatively irrelevant details and everything seemed impossible.

Any time I got to myself, rather than crack on with sorting out the house I bought last year and needs work or building my kit car, I'd just sleep or lie in bed reading.

Day 4 of the meds and I'm struggling, though that was half expected, I've eaten practically nothing, feel like I've got mild flu (maybe linked to not eating much).

The good thing is, just admitting I had a problem and talking to people has helped already, although I feel rubbish now, I'm not dwelling on it and am waiting for the effects to take hold, I can rationalise this as my body adjusting, being rational wasn't something I was very good at of late.
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Sertraline can be a pretty big shift physiologically. My partner is on it and when first starting she got acid reflux. It generally hit her pretty hard, intense effects etc. Every time they modify the dose (increase) she has a period of drooling too. Adjusting to new medication can certainly make you feel quite off for a week or two.

A few bits of advice from her: take it with lots of water which can help with acid reflux. If it makes you drowsy, take it at night. Have a word with your doctor about lowering the dose if it's still too intense.

Also good luck with tackling your issues, talking about it is definitely a great start :)
 
Thanks, I've not had reflux, I'm just not hungry though. Literally just forced down a scotch egg and a packet of crisps and now feel terrible again. Eating seems to make me feel worse.

I was also warned it could make me hyper and fidgety so to take it in the morning, plus it can cause weird dreams. Not had any of that yet though.
 
wesimmo said:
Thanks, I've not had reflux, I'm just not hungry though. Literally just forced down a scotch egg and a packet of crisps and now feel terrible again. Eating seems to make me feel worse.

I was also warned it could make me hyper and fidgety so to take it in the morning, plus it can cause weird dreams. Not had any of that yet though.
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Oh god the weird dreams, yes. My partner's sleep has been disturbed for a long time. I used to take Mirtazapine which created really weird half-awake scenarios where I'd get mixed up between dreams and reality too. Plus restless legs/twitchiness while falling asleep.
 
Anyone ever have day(s) where you just don't care about anything? Circumstances haven't changed, people think you're in a 'mood' yet you're just not feeling anything up or down it is just neutral.

Today is another one of those days for me.
 
That was me, mate.

When I went to the doctor I got asked if I ever felt like harming myself, and I truthfully replied I hadn't. However I did feel I didn't care if I was to just die, the only thing that pulled me back from those feelings was my daughter.

I ended up getting medication, but I felt much better just having admitted to people that's how I felt, it was almost immediate, and apparently the medication can take a few weeks to kick in.

I feel much better again having been on the happy pills for a few weeks, I also stopped "self medicating" with herbal remedies which has no doubt contributed to my improved state of mind.
 
wesimmo said:
That was me, mate.

When I went to the doctor I got asked if I ever felt like harming myself, and I truthfully replied I hadn't. However I did feel I didn't care if I was to just die, the only thing that pulled me back from those feelings was my daughter.

I ended up getting medication, but I felt much better just having admitted to people that's how I felt, it was almost immediate, and apparently the medication can take a few weeks to kick in.

I feel much better again having been on the happy pills for a few weeks, I also stopped "self medicating" with herbal remedies which has no doubt contributed to my improved state of mind.
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It was the same for me, only my kids had any effect on breaking through, a hug from them really lifted me. Otherwise, I couldn't have cared less. I have borderline as well so self-harming is part of that, but, other than punching a door a couple of times in the last 6 months the only self-harming I've done is via food and overeating.

Sertraline was what they put me on. I suffered from insomnia for the first 2 weeks but after that, it started to make a difference and my sleep came back. I think it was 4-6 months of use and came off them. They did help but insomnia came back during withdrawal.

My doctor said I could drink on them, I couldn't. Completely unable to control my anger while on them and alcohol, never touched any again after that, in fact, I've barely had a drink since then.

Depression wise, over the worst of it, what remains is a side effect of my borderline and my autoimmune disease.
 
Yeah I'm on sertraline too. And yeah I still don't sleep through but it's not too bad.

For the first 5 days I slept a lot and couldn't eat.
 
bsoltan said:
Anyone ever have day(s) where you just don't care about anything? Circumstances haven't changed, people think you're in a 'mood' yet you're just not feeling anything up or down it is just neutral.

Today is another one of those days for me.
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Everyday?
 
A year and a half ago my father died, leaving my mother effectively alone. Frequently she tells me she doesn't want to carry on anymore and wants to commit suicide.

The issue is, I am in exactly the same position, and I could never make it known to her. Only one person who knows me knows the truth, and I carry on operating daily at a very high functional level, signing off large contracts, dealing with datacentre level IT stuff and staff.

Each day I just wish I could find the strength to kick IT to the curb and do something which makes me happy, but I have so many ideas/options, I cannot even begin to make a decision. Meanwhile promotions at work come and go, my pay gets better and better, my role becomes increasingly more senior at a national level, but the emptiness gets greater and greater as time goes on, until some days I fear for my own ability to make it to the next day.

What I do about this god only knows, as it has been so long dealing in constant emotional pain of this nature (7 years), I have literally no idea what it could feel like to be happy, nor do I have any hope I will ever find out.

To anyone who knows me, I am externally brash, funny, confident, smart and totally outgoing, with a decent enough physique from torturous gym work. All this hides a dark and frightening inner truth of which I have become an absolute master at hiding. (as many people in similar positions are)

It's like being two people, two personalities, where the inner darkness is an unrelenting abyss of torture which never seems to cease, and I find myself quite looking forward to just leaving the planet.
 
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Trappi$t said:
A year and a half ago my father died, leaving my mother effectively alone. Frequently she tells me she doesn't want to carry on anymore and wants to commit suicide.

The issue is, I am in exactly the same position, and I could never make it known to her. Only one person who knows me knows the truth, and I carry on operating daily at a very high functional level, signing off large contracts, dealing with datacentre level IT stuff and staff.

Each day I just wish I could find the strength to kick IT to the curb and do something which makes me happy, but I have so many ideas/options, I cannot even begin to make a decision. Meanwhile promotions at work come and go, my pay gets better and better, my role becomes increasingly more senior at a national level, but the emptiness gets greater and greater as time goes on, until some days I fear for my own ability to make it to the next day.

What I do about this god only knows, as it has been so long dealing in constant emotional pain of this nature (7 years), I have literally no idea what it could feel like to be happy, nor do I have any hope I will ever find out.

To anyone who knows me, I am externally brash, funny, confident, smart and totally outgoing, with a decent enough physique from torturous gym work. All this hides a dark and frightening inner truth of which I have become an absolute master at hiding. (as many people in similar positions are)

It's like being two people, two personalities, where the inner darkness is an unrelenting abyss of torture which never seems to cease, and I find myself quite looking forward to just leaving the planet.
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Daft question but do you have decent savings and how long could you live off them? What family do you have?

having an amazeballs jobs doesn't give you emotional satisfaction, it does fulfil that need we have to know that when we do die, we've made a difference that lasts after our death.

If you could afford to, hand your notice in and find something you will enjoy. Say you have 80 years on earth, how many have you wasted in a job you aren't enjoying? is your life worth this job?

Other options would be to look at volunteering outside of work, go and spend 2 weeks in Africa building homes/schools, go feed the homeless. Check out Simon Sinek on Youtube, see if anything strikes with you.

I say all this but at the same time, I wonder if the way you feel is job related, could this also be because you lost your dad? Invest some time with your mum, take her to bingo, clubs, get her socialising again... you may save both of you.
 
Trappi$t said:
A year and a half ago my father died, leaving my mother effectively alone. Frequently she tells me she doesn't want to carry on anymore and wants to commit suicide.

The issue is, I am in exactly the same position, and I could never make it known to her. Only one person who knows me knows the truth, and I carry on operating daily at a very high functional level, signing off large contracts, dealing with datacentre level IT stuff and staff.

Each day I just wish I could find the strength to kick IT to the curb and do something which makes me happy, but I have so many ideas/options, I cannot even begin to make a decision. Meanwhile promotions at work come and go, my pay gets better and better, my role becomes increasingly more senior at a national level, but the emptiness gets greater and greater as time goes on, until some days I fear for my own ability to make it to the next day.

What I do about this god only knows, as it has been so long dealing in constant emotional pain of this nature (7 years), I have literally no idea what it could feel like to be happy, nor do I have any hope I will ever find out.

To anyone who knows me, I am externally brash, funny, confident, smart and totally outgoing, with a decent enough physique from torturous gym work. All this hides a dark and frightening inner truth of which I have become an absolute master at hiding. (as many people in similar positions are)

It's like being two people, two personalities, where the inner darkness is an unrelenting abyss of torture which never seems to cease, and I find myself quite looking forward to just leaving the planet.
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if you haven't already please seek medical help as soon as possible. When you do you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders.
 
Best Xmas in years for me so far, thanks.

Rather than sit in the corner trying to avoid getting involved in games etc I actually enjoyed playing with the kids, people cheating in silly ways at daft games and the general carnage of trying to coordinate drunk adults and kids to play games together whereas I'd normally get frustrated and angry about it.

It seems I've been "off kilter" for years as it's a long time since I've been able to enjoy it like that.
 
wesimmo said:
Best Xmas in years for me so far, thanks.

Rather than sit in the corner trying to avoid getting involved in games etc I actually enjoyed playing with the kids, people cheating in silly ways at daft games and the general carnage of trying to coordinate drunk adults and kids to play games together whereas I'd normally get frustrated and angry about it.

It seems I've been "off kilter" for years as it's a long time since I've been able to enjoy it like that.
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Awesome, it's been a bit isolated for me again but that's mainly due to having a split and small family. Glad to be back to work tomorrow anyway
 
Noxia said:
Awesome, it's been a bit isolated for me again but that's mainly due to having a split and small family. Glad to be back to work tomorrow anyway
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That's a shame, mate, hope that work is somewhere you don't mind and not the cause of any issues like mine is!
 
Slam62 said:
if you haven't already please seek medical help as soon as possible. When you do you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders.
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This.

I had counselling before my dad passed away as I'd started to get panic attacks badly from the stress of work and watching him deteriorate. After he died I thought I could cope but it eventually got to the point where I realised I needed to go back. I didn't realise how low I was until the counsellor compared my scorings from the first revisit appointment to the last one.
I also got other things off my chest which really did help. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't completely fixed me and I didn't realise I was still in a grief bubble until 5 years after my dad had passed.

I'm not happy myself with work and no clue what to do. (I've been there 17 years and the longer I stay the scarier it is to leave!)

But I finally got accepted on a shared ownership flat back in July and having that to focus on has helped. My next goal once Ive moved is to focus on what work to get into.

As above go see the doctor a.s.a.p. and tell them how you're feeling. Maybe try to urge your mum to do the same.
Write a list of the things you'd like to do career wise and start looking into what's about. Or as previously mentioned try volunteer work perhaps.
 
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