**The Mental Health Thread**

Soldato
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So after a few months on being "better" things have made a turn for the worse.

I left a job I hated (environment and people) back in May, and started working at a place doing basically my hobby at the time I loved it but the problem was it was an 1hr and 30min drive to and from work. This combined with the dark morning has given me terrible anxiety and I've started phoning in sick, I've been honest with my boss but I worried I am going to get the sack which I just don't think I could handle.

When I'm not at work I hardly leave the house, I just feel anxious about myself and my surroundings.

I'm so lost in my thoughts I don't know what to do.

I can sympathise mate as I know first hand how bad anxiety is. I take it you have discussed this with your doctor? I asked for phone appointments as I couldn’t handle even going to the surgery. I ended up on various tablets which actually made me feel worse at the beginning, the doctor warned me about the side effects but eventually I came through it. The scariest thing for me was the racing heart and tight chest sensations that usually occurred in the middle of the night. Hope you feel better soon.
 
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HI Clubb,

Thats what im doing (therapy). Went through a traumatic accident 18 month ago and suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) have physically recovered now but it gave me PTSD and Depersonalisation Disorder.

I too thought i was going crazy. It feels like someone has taken my body hostage and i am floating in the sky a few feet behind my physical being. I am trying to kill the hostage taker to get my body(life) back but i just cannot! It gets very frustrating and scary.

I too told no one about it until 4 months ago as i felt i was going insane and they would lock me up so i became suicidal but i've turned the corner. It is the worst thing ever, even worse than the PTSD.

MY therapist said the same, its born out of PTSD so when i am largely over that the personalisation will slowly go away.


Glad to hear ytou have learned to cope with it :)

I feel you man. When my anxiety disorder started up some 7 years ago now, the depersonalisation was THE WORST thing about it. Completely consumed me for a good year or so.

The most savage thing of all is that even though I consider myself relatively anxiety free these days, I can offer very little advise to those who still suffer...

What I can say though is that you should just get on with your life. If your depersonalisation makes you anxious about doing something, absolutely 100% do it. My own personal disorder was undoubtedly lengthened by at least 3 years because I ACTIVELY avoided situations which I thought may trigger an attack or extended bout of realised depersonalisation.

It becomes self fulfilling prophecy after a while. You start to dodge the odd social occasion or day out because you don't feel up to it, then EVERY event like that ends up messing with your head.

It's hard and brutal and completely unfair and you WILL feel ***** at times, but just suffer through it and get on with things :)
 
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I can sympathise mate as I know first hand how bad anxiety is. I take it you have discussed this with your doctor? I asked for phone appointments as I couldn’t handle even going to the surgery. I ended up on various tablets which actually made me feel worse at the beginning, the doctor warned me about the side effects but eventually I came through it. The scariest thing for me was the racing heart and tight chest sensations that usually occurred in the middle of the night. Hope you feel better soon.

I haven't been to the the doctors this time, I just feel I need to find the route cause of this and fix it but even after being on meds before and seeing a counselor for months I didn't understand the point of it all or why I felt the way I did.

I left my job and got the new one doing something I enjoyed and thought the driving would be OK but now I dislike it as much as my last job and can't work out what to do.
 
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I feel you man. When my anxiety disorder started up some 7 years ago now, the depersonalisation was THE WORST thing about it. Completely consumed me for a good year or so.

The most savage thing of all is that even though I consider myself relatively anxiety free these days, I can offer very little advise to those who still suffer...

What I can say though is that you should just get on with your life. If your depersonalisation makes you anxious about doing something, absolutely 100% do it. My own personal disorder was undoubtedly lengthened by at least 3 years because I ACTIVELY avoided situations which I thought may trigger an attack or extended bout of realised depersonalisation.

It becomes self fulfilling prophecy after a while. You start to dodge the odd social occasion or day out because you don't feel up to it, then EVERY event like that ends up messing with your head.

It's hard and brutal and completely unfair and you WILL feel ***** at times, but just suffer through it and get on with things :)

Its quite strange how its triggered from person to person, i agree with you about the advice its such a strange feeling that only you can learn to live with it or get rid of it for good.

I have found just ride the high waves of this feeling and it seems to disappear a lot quicker now, what used to trap me and make the feeling go longer was the deep thinking into the depersonalization has it happens.

There seems to be a few on here that has got it by the looks of it
 
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I think a massive issue most people have when facing any sort of mental illness is getting into the thought process that it's somehow a 'battle'. That you can 'fight' anxiety or depression and somehow get the better of it.

I'm no therapist and I'd hate to turn anyone against the advice that they've been given by a professional, but from my own experience you simply CANNOT 'fight' mental illness. It is infinitely more resourceful to reason with it.

It sounds Clichéd as all hell, but acceptance really is the first step on the long road to recovery. By accepting that your mental instability is a part of who you are is to take away the conditions dominant arm. You no longer consider it to be this foreign invader that has no right to be in your head and you slowly start to disenfranchise it. You also cure yourself of any sort of 'defeatist' attitude that cripples so much self confidence that's needed for a recovery.

I'm not saying that ANY of this is easy. It took me almost 4 years to be comfortable in my own head again. Even then, I will NEVER say that I'm 100% cured of my condition. It'll be with me till I die. The most important part is that I'm pretty alright with that :)
 
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Anxiety sounds like a cop out... until you have suffered from it.

I have had regular bouts with anxiety and it was not pleasant. Exercise helps me massively as does eating well.

Think of aspects of your life as 'spokes in a wheel'. Exercise, diet, socialising, sleeping well etc. Once one 'spoke' stops functioning, the whole 'wheel' becomes weaker. It's almost like a domino effect.
 
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Anxiety sounds like a cop out... until you have suffered from it.

I have had regular bouts with anxiety and it was not pleasant. Exercise helps me massively as does eating well.

Think of aspects of your life as 'spokes in a wheel'. Exercise, diet, socialising, sleeping well etc. Once one 'spoke' stops functioning, the whole 'wheel' becomes weaker. It's almost like a domino effect.

Thank you, hearing that makes me not alone in my situation.

I feel so close to the edge right now, I want to make a decision about something but cannot help but think it's wrong and that things will be worse if I do.

I will be back to this thread soon, because I think I need to talk about stuff even if it's to people I don't know and even if I get no advice from it, it will just be a release. If that's ok will you all?

J.
 
Soldato
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Anxiety sounds like a cop out... until you have suffered from it.

I have had regular bouts with anxiety and it was not pleasant. Exercise helps me massively as does eating well.

Think of aspects of your life as 'spokes in a wheel'. Exercise, diet, socialising, sleeping well etc. Once one 'spoke' stops functioning, the whole 'wheel' becomes weaker. It's almost like a domino effect.

Completely agree, anxiety is truly awful. I had regular panic / anxiety attacks for a couple of years back in 2008. They came out of nowhere, I could be chatting to someone, driving, in a shop, in bed, making dinner etc and suddenly have that awful feeling hit me.

I remember driving down at A9 at 2am and an attack just hit me, ended up pulling over in a lay-by in a right mess, sat there for an hour until it passed, then again on the same road at the same time a month later it hit me again.
 
Soldato
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Thank you, hearing that makes me not alone in my situation.

I feel so close to the edge right now, I want to make a decision about something but cannot help but think it's wrong and that things will be worse if I do.

I will be back to this thread soon, because I think I need to talk about stuff even if it's to people I don't know and even if I get no advice from it, it will just be a release. If that's ok will you all?

J.

I completely understand that close to the edge feeling. Hope you feel better soon.
 
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I think a massive issue most people have when facing any sort of mental illness is getting into the thought process that it's somehow a 'battle'. That you can 'fight' anxiety or depression and somehow get the better of it.

I'm no therapist and I'd hate to turn anyone against the advice that they've been given by a professional, but from my own experience you simply CANNOT 'fight' mental illness. It is infinitely more resourceful to reason with it.

It sounds Clichéd as all hell, but acceptance really is the first step on the long road to recovery. By accepting that your mental instability is a part of who you are is to take away the conditions dominant arm. You no longer consider it to be this foreign invader that has no right to be in your head and you slowly start to disenfranchise it. You also cure yourself of any sort of 'defeatist' attitude that cripples so much self confidence that's needed for a recovery.

I'm not saying that ANY of this is easy. It took me almost 4 years to be comfortable in my own head again. Even then, I will NEVER say that I'm 100% cured of my condition. It'll be with me till I die. The most important part is that I'm pretty alright with that :)

This is sound sound advice, don't fight it manage it and accept it try to beat it and think your OK it will bite back when you think your back on top. 10 years and still going, my mantra is Day 1 , yesterday is gone , tomorrow doesn't matter. Deal with now.

Another trick I have learnt is visualize walking down a road , behind you is the past all dark but it is behind you and ahead is sunny sky which you walk toward. Sometimes I'm walking in the grey area but often clear of the dark with it behind me. Take a moment to breath and visualize this. The key is to visualize the issues problems and put them in that dark place and keep walking.

Good luck all

CB
 
Soldato
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England
Looking for a bit of advice. Hopefully, someone can help. I'm currently looking for a new job and have an interview next week. Thankfully this job is remote but the majority of jobs require you to go into the office most days (if not all days) and due to my mental health issues I just can't do that. I can't be around other people.

I know that under disability discrimination law employers have to make "reasonable adjustments" to help get disabled people back into work but would working from home count as a reasonable adjustment? I'm highly motivated and have spent a hell of a lot of time learning on my own so I think I'll be an asset to a company. I just can't cope with being around other people (I can Skype or use the phone though).

I really want a job and I've been hunting ever since I've recovered from being in the hospital earlier this year.
 
Soldato
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How many of you guys feel lonely? As in, no community bonds, no familial bonds, don't know your neighbors, don't participate in local community events, no partners, etc.
 
Soldato
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Looking for a bit of advice. Hopefully, someone can help. I'm currently looking for a new job and have an interview next week. Thankfully this job is remote but the majority of jobs require you to go into the office most days (if not all days) and due to my mental health issues I just can't do that. I can't be around other people.

I know that under disability discrimination law employers have to make "reasonable adjustments" to help get disabled people back into work but would working from home count as a reasonable adjustment? I'm highly motivated and have spent a hell of a lot of time learning on my own so I think I'll be an asset to a company. I just can't cope with being around other people (I can Skype or use the phone though).

I really want a job and I've been hunting ever since I've recovered from being in the hospital earlier this year.
sounds like you really are trying very hard, I would like to say well done for getting as far as you have.

Getting a job is a pain even if you don't have mental health issues, all you can do is go to the interview and see what happens, possibly broach the working at home subject when they ask you if you have any questions.

Just give it a go and see what happens, I would expect to have to go through a lot of interview experiences which does make it very difficult for people with mental health issues.

Do your best.
 
Soldato
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sounds like you really are trying very hard, I would like to say well done for getting as far as you have.

Getting a job is a pain even if you don't have mental health issues, all you can do is go to the interview and see what happens, possibly broach the working at home subject when they ask you if you have any questions.

Just give it a go and see what happens, I would expect to have to go through a lot of interview experiences which does make it very difficult for people with mental health issues.

Do your best.

Thanks for the reply. That is probably the best option. I'll have to think about a decent way to bring it up in an interview without it sounding weird though. I don't want to come across as being melodramatic, but there are only so many ways you can skin a cat.
 
Soldato
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If you have anxiety/panic attacks please please meditate once a day in the morning.

I had a massive breakdown a year ago nearly lost it all and did a lot of research into the mind. Meditation isn't a gimmick and can really help you learn how to let anxious moments pass.

I have some notes on what I learnt during my breakdown taken from research and sessions attended:

1.your mind is a prison, but you are always fully in charge.
2. Just because you have a thought does not mean you need to act on it.
3. No thought is bad, you just need to accept your having the thought and move on.
4. Never suppress emotions it makes it worse. But always act per point 3.


If you have ever heard of CBT it tries to teach you a lot about this mind and control principle. The problem is you need to train yourself in calmer moments first - hence meditation.
If you try and do cbt when your anxious your already losing!

I would recommend reading the book 10% happier by Dan Harris on his struggles (he had a panic attack live in air). It's also an audiobook.
 
Soldato
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I've come to the conclusion that all this mental health awareness stuff is just shallow BS just for show.

People who have not had a mental health issue do not get it, they'll never get and although initially may seem understanding and supportive soon forget about it, Forget about the support and the impact a few words or actions can make to someone.


On a different note, we've new mental health first aiders at my work. I've no idea what they can actually do but having spoken to them both they've had a whole day's training but neither have ever suffered from mental health problems.
 
Soldato
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I've come to the conclusion that all this mental health awareness stuff is just shallow BS just for show.

People who have not had a mental health issue do not get it, they'll never get and although initially may seem understanding and supportive soon forget about it, Forget about the support and the impact a few words or actions can make to someone.


On a different note, we've new mental health first aiders at my work. I've no idea what they can actually do but having spoken to them both they've had a whole day's training but neither have ever suffered from mental health problems.
I agree, the thing is at least the subject is coming out in the open, people don't necessarily have to fully understand they just need to know how to react.
 
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After a little advice, as had an incident in the past week which has shaken me a fair bit.

Had a significant falling out with one of my best friends (or so I thought) whom I go round and hang out with (along with her husband, who is also a friend) regularly on a Wednesday evening for Chinese, a couple of drinks and a chat. Admittedly in the past, and during some tough times this year I have bent her ear more than most when I have been struggling, but in recent times I've tried to listen to her/their stuff and give back a little.

Well, basically last week I had been fairly casually talking about a theory my Mum had mentioned to me about why I struggle to form close relationships (we were separated for a time immediately after birth) and before long my friend came out and said that basically she thought that I was lacking in any kind of empathy, feeling for others and was very likely to be autistic or have Asperger's, and that a couple of our mutual 'friends' had also mentioned it to her. This took me completely by surprise, and I was both shocked and upset that she would think these things. I left soon after, making it plain I wasn't happy with her comments; she sent a text the next day saying she was 'very sorry for upsetting me' but not for suggesting those things. I have not yet responded...
 
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