It's a big cause of relationships breaking down. Quite often a couple will have kids thinking it will fix a broken relationship and bring them close together. But the opposite happens. Unless the relationship is strong then it's more likely to tear it apart.
Advice for a new dad (arguing after newborn)...
- Thread starter kissenger
- Start date
Soldato
#metoo
It was the toughest time ever. It's such an utter battle, and I felt so sorry for my wife - I work offshore so she was dealing with it on her own for 3 weeks solid with baby crying all through the night. When I got home from work I was utterly shattered before I even thought about giving her a break.
The absolute worst thing is people reacting like it's all your own fault because if you just did a, b, c.. then it would all be a breeze, then they went home/hung up the phone or whatever.
Parenting is tough as hell.
Why, because his misses fails to recognise that the greatest gift she could have had as a push present is the one she's carrying around attached to her boob? Did her sense of self entitlement fall out with her placenta?
Soldato
agree with this
Caporegime
We almost broke. We had no family to help nearby, I was so tired (constant nights/long day shifts) I was constantly angry, my wife was exhausted we argued constantly about parenting/whose turn it was to do what.
The thing that made it better for me was accepting that life wasn't going to continue as normal and to stop trying to fight that. Once we accepted our daughter just cried an awful lot and there was nothing wrong, it was just how she was, it became a lot ore manageable.
It's because you fail to notice that she is having a hard time and the first thing you want to do is get rid of the problem rather than solve it. Thats not going to be a good start for the child. Sounds like you would take the easy way out. Parenting is not easy (neither are relationships), but its so very rewarding when you work it out.
If she wants burgers at 3am, you dam well go get them and come back on your knees with the burgers on a gold tray. Then let her eat them while you look after the baby until the sun rises and then go on your 12 hour shift.
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Ive seen this happen in my family. Poor Kids suffered at school and still now because of it. Completely messed up situation where the kids suffer most for rest of their lives
I don't think we should be under any illusion that she fired the first shot but simply failing to deal with a crying, hungry baby. There is no, "getting ready to breastfeed", that's simply not a thing. If she's holding a grudge because he didn't get a push present, which btw, also isn't a thing, then she needs to be tasked up on it, not roll over and beg for forgiveness like a few of the men in this thread seem to be suggesting. It's an equal partnership and the respect for each other should reflect that. Yes it's tough, it's also very rewarding. It doesn't need some new mother thinking the only thing she's missing is a push present.
Soldato
Some fights are worth having.
A falling out with your partner from failing to buy her a present for birthing your child is not where you should be drawing that line. Just buy a ******* present and live your life.
A falling out with your partner from failing to buy her a present for birthing your child is not where you should be drawing that line. Just buy a ******* present and live your life.
Soldato
Get a grip, her hormones are all over the shop and the present is just a fixation for her frustration.
Oh, and your wife sounds like a really lucky lady.
Soldato
Our daughter is 4 now and incredibly independent and head strong. It's just been her character from day one. She can get upset at the most minor things and she's also a little control freak. It's actually adorable most times now. The big problem with newborns like that is the constant crying and worry that it brings, wondering what's wrong that she's crying so much, like just crying all the time.
Now that she can speak, I know that's she's upset because Chase won't sit upright in his vehicle. It's a major situation for her.
Theres a point I'm trying to make. She not holding a grudge, its likely shes not in the right frame of mind. Its not "rolling over" its called 'Manning Up' and not your macho version. No matter what a man does with his kids the mother will always have a bond that will never be present with the father. The mother is going to be the go to for all kinds of advice through that kids life, things a man will never have to deal with. Give her as much as you can possibly give and more.
Soldato
I hate this kind of thing. My partner was unable to breastfeed, she spent 3 nights in hospital after giving birth and the pressure put upon her by the staff was absolutely horrendous to the point I complained. She was in tears for being made to feel like a failure which of course she wasn't. Lazy indeed. What a judgemental arse.
OP - as many have said parenting is really really hard for the first 6-8 months. But soon enough this will all fade into some weird memory haze you can't quite recall properly and you will instead be rewarded with the most amazing experience life can offer.
Soldato
sounds normally to me get used to it lol. It will get easier in some ways but harder in others as they get older. Still its well worth it.
Soldato
Do they get one of these ridiculous 'push presents' if the doctor has to go in and manually excise the parasite?
This sums up Millennials and all that is wrong with this thread and society.
Soldato