Advice for a new dad (arguing after newborn)...

Reading this thread makes me feel even more confident I do not want kids.

It genuinely sounds like torture. Just the lack of sleep sounds horrendous. Couple that with arguments with your spouse, work, house work.. It' amazing more people dont crack

Good luck OP
It's a big cause of relationships breaking down. Quite often a couple will have kids thinking it will fix a broken relationship and bring them close together. But the opposite happens. Unless the relationship is strong then it's more likely to tear it apart.
 
If your baby doesn’t like sleeping in the cot have you tried swaddling him. Stops them moving about and throwing their arms and legs every which way. Helped with ours got him sleeping through (midnight ish to 7am ish) at 8 weeks.
 
The amount of "men" in this thread who have rolled over for what seems like complete psychopaths is quite honestly, embarrassing. The only "push" present she'd be getting from me would be out the front door with her bags packed.

What does "getting ready for breastfeeding" mean? You pull your top down, stick baby on tit. That doesn't take 30 minutes. She needs to stop living in a fantasy land, and with your support, man the hell up and become a parent.


Chirst. I may be old in my thinking but you... you are in the dark ages.
 
Our first born never slept more than 45 minutes for 8 months. Cried about 6 to 8 hours solid a day.

Buckle up!

We never never went back for number two.

#metoo

It was the toughest time ever. It's such an utter battle, and I felt so sorry for my wife - I work offshore so she was dealing with it on her own for 3 weeks solid with baby crying all through the night. When I got home from work I was utterly shattered before I even thought about giving her a break.

The absolute worst thing is people reacting like it's all your own fault because if you just did a, b, c.. then it would all be a breeze, then they went home/hung up the phone or whatever.

Parenting is tough as hell.
 
Chirst. I may be old in my thinking but you... you are in the dark ages.


Why, because his misses fails to recognise that the greatest gift she could have had as a push present is the one she's carrying around attached to her boob? Did her sense of self entitlement fall out with her placenta?
 
#metoo

It was the toughest time ever. It's such an utter battle, and I felt so sorry for my wife - I work offshore so she was dealing with it on her own for 3 weeks solid with baby crying all through the night. When I got home from work I was utterly shattered before I even thought about giving her a break.

The absolute worst thing is people reacting like it's all your own fault because if you just did a, b, c.. then it would all be a breeze, then they went home/hung up the phone or whatever.

Parenting is tough as hell.
agree with this
 
#metoo

It was the toughest time ever. It's such an utter battle, and I felt so sorry for my wife - I work offshore so she was dealing with it on her own for 3 weeks solid with baby crying all through the night. When I got home from work I was utterly shattered before I even thought about giving her a break.

The absolute worst thing is people reacting like it's all your own fault because if you just did a, b, c.. then it would all be a breeze, then they went home/hung up the phone or whatever.

Parenting is tough as hell.

We almost broke. We had no family to help nearby, I was so tired (constant nights/long day shifts) I was constantly angry, my wife was exhausted we argued constantly about parenting/whose turn it was to do what.

The thing that made it better for me was accepting that life wasn't going to continue as normal and to stop trying to fight that. Once we accepted our daughter just cried an awful lot and there was nothing wrong, it was just how she was, it became a lot ore manageable.
 
Why, because his misses fails to recognise that the greatest gift she could have had as a push present is the one she's carrying around attached to her boob? Did her sense of self entitlement fall out with her placenta?


It's because you fail to notice that she is having a hard time and the first thing you want to do is get rid of the problem rather than solve it. Thats not going to be a good start for the child. Sounds like you would take the easy way out. Parenting is not easy (neither are relationships), but its so very rewarding when you work it out.

If she wants burgers at 3am, you dam well go get them and come back on your knees with the burgers on a gold tray. Then let her eat them while you look after the baby until the sun rises and then go on your 12 hour shift.
 
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It's a big cause of relationships breaking down. Quite often a couple will have kids thinking it will fix a broken relationship and bring them close together. But the opposite happens. Unless the relationship is strong then it's more likely to tear it apart.

Ive seen this happen in my family. Poor Kids suffered at school and still now because of it. Completely messed up situation where the kids suffer most for rest of their lives
 
It's because you fail to notice that she is having a hard time and the first thing you want to do is get rid of the problem rather than solve it. Thats not going to be a good start for the child. Sounds like you would take the easy way out. Parenting is not easy (neither are relationships), but its so very rewarding when you work it out.
I don't think we should be under any illusion that she fired the first shot but simply failing to deal with a crying, hungry baby. There is no, "getting ready to breastfeed", that's simply not a thing. If she's holding a grudge because he didn't get a push present, which btw, also isn't a thing, then she needs to be tasked up on it, not roll over and beg for forgiveness like a few of the men in this thread seem to be suggesting. It's an equal partnership and the respect for each other should reflect that. Yes it's tough, it's also very rewarding. It doesn't need some new mother thinking the only thing she's missing is a push present.
 
Some fights are worth having.

A falling out with your partner from failing to buy her a present for birthing your child is not where you should be drawing that line. Just buy a ******* present and live your life.
 
A push present seems to be an Americanism popularised by ‘celebrities’ such as the kardashians.

No different to the stupidness which is gender reveal parties, which are also an Americanism by all accounts.
 
The thing that made it better for me was accepting that life wasn't going to continue as normal and to stop trying to fight that. Once we accepted our daughter just cried an awful lot and there was nothing wrong, it was just how she was, it became a lot ore manageable.

Our daughter is 4 now and incredibly independent and head strong. It's just been her character from day one. She can get upset at the most minor things and she's also a little control freak. It's actually adorable most times now. The big problem with newborns like that is the constant crying and worry that it brings, wondering what's wrong that she's crying so much, like just crying all the time.

Now that she can speak, I know that's she's upset because Chase won't sit upright in his vehicle. It's a major situation for her. :p
 
I don't think we should be under any illusion that she fired the first shot but simply failing to deal with a crying, hungry baby. There is no, "getting ready to breastfeed", that's simply not a thing. If she's holding a grudge because he didn't get a push present, which btw, also isn't a thing, then she needs to be tasked up on it, not roll over and beg for forgiveness like a few of the men in this thread seem to be suggesting. It's an equal partnership and the respect for each other should reflect that. Yes it's tough, it's also very rewarding. It doesn't need some new mother thinking the only thing she's missing is a push present.

Theres a point I'm trying to make. She not holding a grudge, its likely shes not in the right frame of mind. Its not "rolling over" its called 'Manning Up' and not your macho version. No matter what a man does with his kids the mother will always have a bond that will never be present with the father. The mother is going to be the go to for all kinds of advice through that kids life, things a man will never have to deal with. Give her as much as you can possibly give and more.
 
I'm sorry but this is stupidly bad advise. I know each to thier own and all that, but your wife is breastfeeding. Which is an amazing achiement in todays lazy parents society. And it's an incredible thing.
I hate this kind of thing. My partner was unable to breastfeed, she spent 3 nights in hospital after giving birth and the pressure put upon her by the staff was absolutely horrendous to the point I complained. She was in tears for being made to feel like a failure which of course she wasn't. Lazy indeed. What a judgemental arse.

OP - as many have said parenting is really really hard for the first 6-8 months. But soon enough this will all fade into some weird memory haze you can't quite recall properly and you will instead be rewarded with the most amazing experience life can offer.
 
sounds normally to me get used to it lol. It will get easier in some ways but harder in others as they get older. Still its well worth it.
 
A push present seems to be an Americanism popularised by ‘celebrities’ such as the kardashians.

No different to the stupidness which is gender reveal parties, which are also an Americanism by all accounts.

Ooooh, so I can have a party to reveal I'm a bloke?

I'm in!
 
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