**The Mental Health Thread**

My wife does this a lot, like all the time. Overthinks every situation, so much so I wrote a book (very small book) on it. Look it up on amazon, it's called UNTHUNK @mrbell1984

I am so up and down with my mental health and can get bogged down with stress of work, it was nice to voice my experiences in some way. I have felt so much better the last 12 months!
 
Meditation or just mindfulness is great for overthinkers/analysers. It can be very difficult at first though if you have attention/concentration issues.

Know as well that it is very common, most people play out future scenarios in their head on a day to day basis, telephone calls, how a meeting is going to go etc etc
 
Ayahuasca said:
Meditation or just mindfulness is great for overthinkers/analysers. It can be very difficult at first though if you have attention/concentration issues.

Know as well that it is very common, most people play out future scenarios in their head on a day to day basis, telephone calls, how a meeting is going to go etc etc
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Yea, way more people than you would think and agreed on the meditation, and even just deep breathing apps. All very good.
 
randomshenans said:
Yea, way more people than you would think and agreed on the meditation, and even just deep breathing apps. All very good.
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Deep breathing has really helped me.

I tend to get stressed about being late, even though I leave plenty of time if someone was holding me up it'd make me angry.

Now I just breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4, rinse and repeat.
 
Just started another Ulcerative Colitis flare and my Anxiety/low mood feelings are really strong this time. My mood is up and down throughout the day I hate the feeling of low mood time seems to slow and I have no enjoyment for my usual things.

I have been reading about the links between IBD and mental health and they are more connected than I knew. Hopefully once I get on a treatment plan I will feel a bit better but at the moment things are very Bleghhhhh....
 
Following some advice from this thread, I'm in the early stages of trialing taking Vitamin D supplements after a couple of really bad downers after Xmas/New Year. Trying to force myself into more exercise seems to help a little too. I'm a couple of weeks in, and while it is not a miracle cure, it does seem to help my mood a little. I may try taking one in the morning and then another after my evening meal, as I find my mood really crashes later on in the evening...
 
Hi all i hope everyone is well on this thread board. I haven't been on the forum for a while whilst i sorted myself out. After a massive emotional shock to the system thanks to my wife leaving me. Anyway, i just wanted to share my story with everyone. Over the last years i have dealt with a fair bit, bullying in the work place, stress of changing jobs, post natal depression i am male it doesn't just affect women, i also lost three people very important to me in a space of six months. Then to top all that off, my dad is now terminal ill and my wife left me five months ago.
The day she left me and asked me to leave our family home was the same day i tried to talk to her about it and ask for help. At the time, i didn't know she was suffering from her own mental health problems anxiety and she has been diagnosed with two chronic illnesses what she hadn't talked to me about. Whilst she didn't know i was dealing with my stuff. We failed to communicate for the first time in 14 years. We found out few months into being separated this about what just made things worse for us both, but we started to talk briefly about it.
I put myself in private therapy very quickly, as i feared i had had breakdown of some kind, i doing some very silly things. With the help of my councillor and my close circle i am a lot better now. During that period, i went to the gym five days a week my phyical health is a lot better and i am great shape once again. Mostly weight lifting. I was taking daily vietnams, a multi, a Vietnam D and Zinc. I was writing journaling, letters to people i wanted to talk to but never send them. Turns out that most of issues where not depression but i didn't deal with the grief, i bottled it all up along with the stress. All i can say is the exercise and talking really helped.
During the time i was making myself better i was watched my wife deteriorate, what was so upsetting as i still care for deeply. My councillor suggested that i ask her to come along to one of my sessions, even if i don't need to come on my own anymore, me and my wife had a great decision one day she decided to come a one of my sessions. We have now been doing joint sessions, my goal here was to help her whilst i can and maybe help save our marriage at the same time. I am now back in our family home, she has been struggling badly with both her mental and physical health. My biggest fear from all of this is how it will effect our children.
Anyway, i just wanted to share this so people can see there is light at the end of the tunnel.
 
Great progress and thanks for sharing. My wife suffers a lot and I don't think she really knows of the daemons that I face as she's all too consumed by her own, which is very hard for me to balance dealing with her and hers when I'm not in a good place.
 
@randomshenans

I read your book from start to finish. I enjoyed reading it. Took a little bit time as concentration was hard but got there in the end. I may write something myself one day.

One thing after another, contract was terminated the other day. On the grounds that I wasn't trying hard enough and not meeting targets, I have proof I was so debating if I should/could take it as unfair dismissal to a tribunal. There is a little bit more to it but not going to disclose on here. Been looking for work for couple days but not found anything just yet.
 
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mrbell1984 said:
I read your book from start to finish. I enjoyed reading it. Took a little bit time as concentration was hard but got there in the end. I may write something myself one day.
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Glad you liked it! Would love a review if you have them time :) You should definitely consider some writing as an outlet, even if you don't do anything with it. I have so many poems I have sent to myself as I do nothing with them. It's just a good outlet I find.
I've never shared these with anyone, but this is what I wrote last month. I was really butting heads with my wife, she wasn't in a good place and just couldn't see what I was going through.

I can never express the way I feel
Without it turning into a big ordeal
Of he said she said what about that?
A giant game of tit for tat
But wearing a smile is my costume today
The outfit I wear to help me find my way
The smile that fades as the cracks start to show
The devil inside begins to grow
The darkness falls and the thoughts turn from grey into black
The fear is that I can never turn back
The smile is there for the outside to see
The pain is real building inside of me
The day turns to night we do it once more
The thought of tomorrow brings hope to my core
No one can see past that smile on your face
No one can feel how tight you embrace
No one knows your fear deep within
No one can see that smile wearing thin

re. the work situation, sometimes it's best to just walk away. The emotional stress that process could bring might not be worth the battle and might be easier to turn a new page. I dont know the ins and outs so it's not really for me to say, but a consideration nonetheless.
 
randomshenans said:
<SNIP>

re. the work situation, sometimes it's best to just walk away. The emotional stress that process could bring might not be worth the battle and might be easier to turn a new page. I dont know the ins and outs so it's not really for me to say, but a consideration nonetheless.
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This is a good poem I like it! A poem for couples. You can write one sometime for singles since it's valentines day. (oh boy!)....

I would like to walk away but the work place is vile! Very ruthless with people and only target driven with no desire to help people in need. Drive people into the ground situation working 100 mile an hour or nothing.

I have all the evidence I need ready to submit within the 3 months time period. No help, no training, left to get on with things with no movement in targets.
 
randomshenans said:
Great progress and thanks for sharing. My wife suffers a lot and I don't think she really knows of the daemons that I face as she's all too consumed by her own, which is very hard for me to balance dealing with her and hers when I'm not in a good place.
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My wife has always has problems with anxiety and i have always been there supporting her, letting her know i was there for her always. It seems all those years of doing that i didn't look after myself when i started to have problems. But now i am stronger than i was, i can now tackle her issues head on, be there, help her and support her. I just hope she doesn't ask me to leave again whilst i am trying to help her.
 
I went with a friend to their ESA reassessment.

woman said this is going to be quick.

your mental illness has no cure, nothing is going to change, this is pointless.

Any alchohol or drug abuse?
any self harming?
any suicide thoughts?

I'll fill the report in on my own, have a nice day

She actually seemed to care for this persons well being, I was amazed
 
arknor said:
I went with a friend to their ESA reassessment.

woman said this is going to be quick.

your mental illness has no cure, nothing is going to change, this is pointless.

Any alchohol or drug abuse?
any self harming?
any suicide thoughts?

I'll fill the report in on my own, have a nice day

She actually seemed to care for this persons well being, I was amazed
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Doesn't mean she'll get it.
I have Multiple Sclerosis, Aspergers, and a whole host of associated mental health issues and I don't qualify.
 
Rilot said:
Doesn't mean she'll get it.
I have Multiple Sclerosis, Aspergers, and a whole host of associated mental health issues and I don't qualify.
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she already has it, it was a reassessment
so with this persons reccomendation that nothing has changed etc I don't see how she wouldn't keep it.
it doesn't matter what you have anyway it's how it effects you and how good you are at wording on the forms.

she was on DLA at one time with lifetime award but got 0 points to pip, and only 5 at tribunal.
I think you can reapply straight away again or so I've been told, but my friend doesn't want the added stress and suffering the whole ordeal of going through everything yet again brings.

There are many disability groups around the country that you can ask to help fill in the forms, apparently you have a much better chance with their help as they know the exact wording to use, and if they come to an interview they can explain it probably better than you could yourself.

you could also talk to your local MP as well I've heard a lot of people having success that way.

But for mental health issues it seems like the system is designed to be against you since your likely the most vulnerable when it comes to fighting back, explaining things at the assessments, your less likely to appeal and go to a tribunal etc.
 
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