**The Mental Health Thread**

Soldato
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I'm really sorry to hear of this. I just googled those conditions, my heart goes out to you. I had a bad accident 2.5 years ago and smashed my head. Ihad swelling but no brain bleed. It kicked my butt for 2 years and i'm only just starting to turn the corner and see the light.

Just having a mild head injury completely changed me so i cannot imagine how tough it is for oyu. You deserve full respect for hanging in there. You are braver than most of us!

Cheers. I had a lot of issues as I broke a lot of bones and died 3x etc but the biggest was losing years of memory - that messed me up. I didn't even remember my mum for a while and I still have memory issues, hence dyslexia, that i'm learning about 11yrs on. It's been a nightmare but i'm always pushing. I am my own worst enemy.
 
Soldato
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James.Miller - this thread has been a bit of a release for me, although I am far from ok, as I just put a little bit down and then I just carried on. Was that how it felt for you? Did you find it better putting it to paper as it were? I'm sorry to hear you're going through testing times and I hope you can find a path through it.
 
Associate
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Here’s my story. I grew up in south Devon as an only child with a single mother who should not have been allowed to raise a child. Prone to incessant neurotic outbursts, and malignant and sustained levels of aggression, she tormented me all the way through my childhood, even until this very day. (I hate even being in the same town as her). She is the most spiteful and vindictive person I have ever known. She’s evil. I always felt worthless growing up, poor and miserable, no dad, no role model. Ended up taking drugs/drinking/smoking during secondary school, and shop lifting and stealing to fund it. And I mean dirt poor. Walking home after primary school and finding a note ‘Go to bed by 9 please!’ and a pack of 10p noodles to cook for myself for dinner. I remember she ‘borrowed’ my birthday money every year, and one time I had the audacity to ask for £30 back to buy some trainers as mine were wrecked. She slapped me up and down that isle screaming that that money was given to her, because she’s ‘struggling’. The very next year when she asked to ‘borrow’ the birthday money, with an extra sadistic glee in her eye knowing I knew full well I wasn’t getting it back. I just burst into tears...she was still out the door with the money in less than 10 minutes. Or the time she punched me in the face and burst my lip because she thought I’d stole her £80 money (which I didn’t....WHICH I DIDNT) my cousin later confessed that. I was 12, he was 14.

So I ended up joining the Royal Navy 21 (with no quals )did 7 years, left moved to Ramsgate to work offshore wind industry, at 28, met my first gf there (at 28! - got trust issues). Never really formed any friendships in my life. Don’t have any friends. Was having therapy, probably 30 sessions, was suggested to disown mum, and I’m a big-time underachiever. Fast forward..Split up with my ex after 5 years. Now live in Lincoln, on my own, 35 years old, earn nearly a 6 figure salary, and I’m absolutely miserable. I think my type of anxiety is one of the worst. I sometimes literally can’t smile or even move my face when I’m engaging with another human being, even though I’m a 6’4” good looking chap with money, who has literally planned my own death to the details. I don’t think what I have been through is recoverable. I was never normal.
 
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Cheers. I had a lot of issues as I broke a lot of bones and died 3x etc but the biggest was losing years of memory - that messed me up. I didn't even remember my mum for a while and I still have memory issues, hence dyslexia, that i'm learning about 11yrs on. It's been a nightmare but i'm always pushing. I am my own worst enemy.



Exactly same as me mate. I only died once though. I also had a memory that lasted about 5 seconds. Everyday was like groundhog day and i cpouldnt remember any of my life. I'm a lot better now but doubt i'll ever fully be the same.

Be kind to yourself mate. Just take it a day at a time. If you ever want a chat message me.

My accident gave me anxiety, depression, PTSD, Disassocation, Depersonalisation and Derealization, if you suffer with any of those and need to chat about them as well i'm happy to lety you know what helped me.
 
Soldato
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Here’s my story. I grew up in south Devon as an only child with a single mother who should not have been allowed to raise a child. Prone to incessant neurotic outbursts, and malignant and sustained levels of aggression, she tormented me all the way through my childhood, even until this very day. (I hate even being in the same town as her). She is the most spiteful and vindictive person I have ever known. She’s evil. I always felt worthless growing up, poor and miserable, no dad, no role model. Ended up taking drugs/drinking/smoking during secondary school, and shop lifting and stealing to fund it. And I mean dirt poor. Walking home after primary school and finding a note ‘Go to bed by 9 please!’ and a pack of 10p noodles to cook for myself for dinner. I remember she ‘borrowed’ my birthday money every year, and one time I had the audacity to ask for £30 back to buy some trainers as mine were wrecked. She slapped me up and down that isle screaming that that money was given to her, because she’s ‘struggling’. The very next year when she asked to ‘borrow’ the birthday money, with an extra sadistic glee in her eye knowing I knew full well I wasn’t getting it back. I just burst into tears...she was still out the door with the money in less than 10 minutes. Or the time she punched me in the face and burst my lip because she thought I’d stole her £80 money (which I didn’t....WHICH I DIDNT) my cousin later confessed that. I was 12, he was 14.

So I ended up joining the Royal Navy 21 (with no quals )did 7 years, left moved to Ramsgate to work offshore wind industry, at 28, met my first gf there (at 28! - got trust issues). Never really formed any friendships in my life. Don’t have any friends. Was having therapy, probably 30 sessions, was suggested to disown mum, and I’m a big-time underachiever. Fast forward..Split up with my ex after 5 years. Now live in Lincoln, on my own, 35 years old, earn nearly a 6 figure salary, and I’m absolutely miserable. I think my type of anxiety is one of the worst. I sometimes literally can’t smile or even move my face when I’m engaging with another human being, even though I’m a 6’4” good looking chap with money, who has literally planned my own death to the details. I don’t think what I have been through is recoverable. I was never normal.
Sometimes have to focus on the positives. You've achieved a near six figure salary, which is quite a good achievement!
What things do you enjoy? Try to focus on those and do more of those things.
It's never easy to forget the past but you only live once - try to make the most of it and the best of it!
I had fairly decent parents while growing up but still went though some weird **** when I was young (didn't happen to me but what happened change my view on life, had to grow up quickly). It's affected aspects of my life. I'm definitely not normal but some of that is probably for other reason too (have always thought differently, wanted something else from life). Mostly I get on with life happily :).
I had an operation recently which gave me a bit of a scare but after the initial scare I now just think "**** it, it proves life is short, just enjoy the ride until it ends". I remind myself of that if I feel a bit down or something.
Your mum controlled you (impacted negatively your young life), but you must control your future.
 
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Associate
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Sometimes have to focus on the positives. You've achieved a near six figure salary, which is quite a good achievement!
What things do you enjoy? Try to focus on those and do more of those things.
It's never easy to forget the past but you only live once - try to make the most of it and the best of it!
I had fairly decent parents while growing up but still went though some weird **** when I was young (didn't happen to me but what happened change my view on life, had to grow up quickly). It's affected aspects of my life. I'm definitely not normal but some of that is probably for other reason too (have always thought differently, wanted something else from life). Mostly I get on with life happily :).
I had an operation recently which gave me a bit of a scare but after the initial scare I now just think "**** it, it proves life is short, just enjoy the ride until it ends". I remind myself of that if I feel a bit down or something.
Your mum controlled you (impacted negatively your young life), but you must control your future.


I think having excess money makes people frivolous and ungrateful. I know it’s bad taste to complain but it is a stressor and a burden in its own right.

That’s the thing, I don’t really know what things I like, I don’t socialise very well which makes taking up new hobbies an anxiety-fest. I like hiking and being in nature.

I agree we should all make the most of it, if we are able. Just a matter of getting up sometimes, and getting out the door in the am.

Sorry to hear that mate, hope it wasn’t too bad, vent if you need to. must have been tough if you was young and at the mercy other others.

What is it you seek from the fountain of life? Tell me the secret cos I don’t know why I’m here..or what the point is.


What happened during your operation mate? Speedy recovery and all that.

I’m trying to control my life, just failing miserably. Must do better..

Thanks buddy :)
 
Associate
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Exactly same as me mate. I only died once though. I also had a memory that lasted about 5 seconds. Everyday was like groundhog day and i cpouldnt remember any of my life. I'm a lot better now but doubt i'll ever fully be the same.

Be kind to yourself mate. Just take it a day at a time. If you ever want a chat message me.

My accident gave me anxiety, depression, PTSD, Disassocation, Depersonalisation and Derealization, if you suffer with any of those and need to chat about them as well i'm happy to lety you know what helped me.

I am with you on this one, Depersonalisation and derealisation is what I have suffered with for the last 30 years , it's absolutely scared my life and caused me so much fear , not sure why but I keep getting these feelings every couple of days the last couple of months, i had a few years where it went.

I feel I am spiralling in to the pit again but trying my hardest to fight the muddy side of my thinking, on the edge of seeing someone again but the physiologist I last seen seemed to just stare at me and not give me much feed back, I did 3 sessions and gave up.

The funny thing is I noticed I had a massive break down this exact same time last year.

You all seem to be doing well with out you realising it, keep doing what your doing and keep fighting on.
 
Soldato
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The funny thing is I noticed I had a massive break down this exact same time last year.

You all seem to be doing well with out you realising it, keep doing what your doing and keep fighting on.
I've noticed this pattern - it took a while, maybe into my mid twenties. My birthday is mid-September and I always had a breakdown, questioning my life, choice, etc in September. The changing of the season, dark nights setting in, summer fading, and going back to school or uni as well. Plus getting a year older, which I hate.

I started learning to see it coming and minimise the stress or even make it a good month by staying upbeat. Before 25/26 I would always have this crash but these days it's usually more of a general acceptance that another year has passed. I think the weather and daylight changes are the worst.

As said above, we all have our issues and are generally coping. It's impossible to know what others are dealing with and for them to know what you are, too. Telling yourself "others have it worse and they're ok" is quite common but risky. No one deserves to belittle themselves or their own problems, we all deserve to be happier and to tackle things as best we can.

There's some heavy stuff in this thread today but I'm really glad there's so much support. This especially made me smile:
Thanks for sharing your story helpimcool.
:)
 
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I am with you on this one, Depersonalisation and derealisation is what I have suffered with for the last 30 years , it's absolutely scared my life and caused me so much fear , not sure why but I keep getting these feelings every couple of days the last couple of months, i had a few years where it went.

I feel I am spiralling in to the pit again but trying my hardest to fight the muddy side of my thinking, on the edge of seeing someone again but the physiologist I last seen seemed to just stare at me and not give me much feed back, I did 3 sessions and gave up.

The funny thing is I noticed I had a massive break down this exact same time last year.

You all seem to be doing well with out you realising it, keep doing what your doing and keep fighting on.



Sorry to hear of your dp/Dr too. Its a vile disorder.

What really helped mine go away was changing my lifestyle. Anything in life that was stressing me or making me anxious I cut out completely. Work/bad people etc.

I also found that dieting better and exercise helped a lot too.
 
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I've noticed this pattern - it took a while, maybe into my mid twenties. My birthday is mid-September and I always had a breakdown, questioning my life, choice, etc in September. The changing of the season, dark nights setting in, summer fading, and going back to school or uni as well. Plus getting a year older, which I hate.

I started learning to see it coming and minimise the stress or even make it a good month by staying upbeat. Before 25/26 I would always have this crash but these days it's usually more of a general acceptance that another year has passed. I think the weather and daylight changes are the worst.

As said above, we all have our issues and are generally coping. It's impossible to know what others are dealing with and for them to know what you are, too. Telling yourself "others have it worse and they're ok" is quite common but risky. No one deserves to belittle themselves or their own problems, we all deserve to be happier and to tackle things as best we can.

There's some heavy stuff in this thread today but I'm really glad there's so much support. This especially made me smile:

:)

Funny anough it's my birthday this month it sounds very familiar to what you have gone through, thanks for you time and replying. Makes sense to me.

Yeah there is definitely a great support between us all
 
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Sorry to hear of your dp/Dr too. Its a vile disorder.

What really helped mine go away was changing my lifestyle. Anything in life that was stressing me or making me anxious I cut out completely. Work/bad people etc.

I also found that dieting better and exercise helped a lot too.


Thanks ninja yeah it's definitely a strange feeling that some people will never understand, I think it's my work dragging me down and this may be the cause of the DP/DR ,one day I will change the job but the money's and benefits are great so will put up with the feelings and plod on. I have gone OCD into the exercise side like your self , over the last 2 years lost 2 stone and look really good for my age unfortunately I end up hurting myself doing to much exercise I just can't stop doing to much now.

Thanks a lot for replying much appreciated
 
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I have schizophrenia. really weird illness. I can't even explain but i'm trying to quit smoking and it isn't going well. Too anxious. it can be worse than the hallucinations and delusions.

I'm going to put my parents running machine in my spare room and get some weights.
 
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I have schizophrenia. really weird illness. I can't even explain but i'm trying to quit smoking and it isn't going well. Too anxious. it can be worse than the hallucinations and delusions.

I'm going to put my parents running machine in my spare room and get some weights.

I agree, anxiety for me is absolutely crippling sometimes, especially when I’m forced to socialise during work. You should definitely look at improving your fitness, it has a calming effect and makes you feel good. Weights is my thing too brother. Especially when you get half good at it. And it never hurts having a few lbs extra muscle..(the chicks)

I also find fasting and eating a carnivorous diet help immensely with anxiety. Check out Bart Kay and/or Ivor Cummins on YouTube, they have some good stuff on their channels.

Have a good day my friend. :)
 
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Thanks ninja yeah it's definitely a strange feeling that some people will never understand, I think it's my work dragging me down and this may be the cause of the DP/DR ,one day I will change the job but the money's and benefits are great so will put up with the feelings and plod on. I have gone OCD into the exercise side like your self , over the last 2 years lost 2 stone and look really good for my age unfortunately I end up hurting myself doing to much exercise I just can't stop doing to much now.

Thanks a lot for replying much appreciated


My job was making me ill. It was where i had my accident and i couldnt move on from it seeing my blood everywhere everyday. It was literally making me ill so I went from a job that paid 43k to a job that pays 29k and within a month felt much better.


With the exercise i havent gone overboard,i work out 4 times a week. I think it's important to not overdo it.

If you dont mind me asking did a traumatic event cause your dpdr? If so i recommend EMDR THerapy for PTSD. Works wonders! I also have talk therapy every other week. It takes combination of 3/4 things to beat this evil.
 
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My job was making me ill. It was where i had my accident and i couldnt move on from it seeing my blood everywhere everyday. It was literally making me ill so I went from a job that paid 43k to a job that pays 29k and within a month felt much better.


With the exercise i havent gone overboard,i work out 4 times a week. I think it's important to not overdo it.

If you dont mind me asking did a traumatic event cause your dpdr? If so i recommend EMDR THerapy for PTSD. Works wonders! I also have talk therapy every other week. It takes combination of 3/4 things to beat this evil.

This as happened from 12 years old


Parents split 12 years old ish
My granddad died so moved in with my Nan to look after her at 13 years old.
Mom got another boyfriend who she later married, they drank a lot, argued, fought i remember seeing her get dragged with arm in car down the road trying to hold on to him.
Mom had a new boyfriend (He was an ex con) Raped my sister, turned my mom into a drug user and got sent down.
My Nan the actual person that directed me down the right path, died of cancer.
Lost contact with my mom when she finally hit the heroin, we had to split away to save my little family.
Got back in touch with my mom after hearing the news she made it clean, we seen each other for a few years, but she died few years ago due to smoking and drinking to much over the years.
The wife was sexually abused by her dad from a young age, so she has to cope with this and can have very very bad days sometimes.

I am guessing I was to young with a lot of pressure that started it all for me.

I never wanted kids for the resons above once I had the kids I regret it because of the worry of the future this I think is a massive part of my depression I have now.

Thanks a lot for the info and no problem at all it actually reminds me of what I have achieved from so much crap I have seen ,I am so glad the changing of the job worked for you this is something I need to look at me thinks to.

Thanks again
 
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Well those are definitely traumatic experiences. Trauma doesnt have to be physical.

I would recommend 'talk' therapy if you havent already started it. I would definitely find a local EMDR therapist in your area and see if they think they can help. I believe they can.

Hopr you feel better soon. You have my full respect for battling on :)
 
Soldato
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I have had a pretty good couple of weeks but the last few days I have felt a bit more anxious and have been waking early again. Not sure anything has changed much but it’s a blow to the system when things have been ok then the anxiety creeps back up again. Hoping it’s just a blip and things will settle again.
 
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Well those are definitely traumatic experiences. Trauma doesnt have to be physical.

I would recommend 'talk' therapy if you havent already started it. I would definitely find a local EMDR therapist in your area and see if they think they can help. I believe they can.

Hopr you feel better soon. You have my full respect for battling on :)

Thanks a lot, i have had a quick read and will have a more deeper read into this later on thanks for the info does sound promising :)

Take care dude
 
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I have had a pretty good couple of weeks but the last few days I have felt a bit more anxious and have been waking early again. Not sure anything has changed much but it’s a blow to the system when things have been ok then the anxiety creeps back up again. Hoping it’s just a blip and things will settle again.


Yeah its definatly a roller coaster Moog, sometimes nothing has to change in life, we feel what we feel and we cant help it sometimes,ride the low and the highs will come back :)

I feel the same i was playing on the pc from 5 oclock this morning literally just come off playing dayz for 6 hours and i got a family to look after :(
 

Deleted member 651465

D

Deleted member 651465

I’ve only been on antidepressants for a week but I almost had a panic attack getting my haircut today.

Don’t know why, I just felt sick from anxiety :(
 
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