Associate
13 years my Nan died she was like my mom and did save my life she definatly sent me on the correct path, i still have moments specially after a drink where get really upset.
**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
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13 years my Nan died she was like my mom and did save my life she definatly sent me on the correct path, i still have moments specially after a drink where get really upset.
@Steveocee
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin
As said above there is no normal time. Everyone deals with grief differently. I lost my dad 7 1/2 years ago and it still hurts, some days more than others.
Some occasions I can talk about him/his illness fine and other times I'm just a complete mess.
Don't be afraid to talk about him though. One thing I realised was that it wasn't helping me to bottle things up.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin
As said above there is no normal time. Everyone deals with grief differently. I lost my dad 7 1/2 years ago and it still hurts, some days more than others.
Some occasions I can talk about him/his illness fine and other times I'm just a complete mess.
Don't be afraid to talk about him though. One thing I realised was that it wasn't helping me to bottle things up.
Soldato
Cheers guys.
Associate
I don't suffer with mental health myself but come in here occasionally to read your stories. Mind blown.
Deleted member 651465
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Deleted member 651465
Is it selfish that I’ve been trying to get help for some issues and haven’t told my wife?
Internally I’ve felt that if I could get help and deal with things it would never be a problem that needs to be discussed but I can see it from the other side and realise it comes across like I’m keeping secrets.
Internally I’ve felt that if I could get help and deal with things it would never be a problem that needs to be discussed but I can see it from the other side and realise it comes across like I’m keeping secrets.
Soldato
I've found that when trying to deal with my issues, I wasn't really dealing with them as well as I thought and they were being noticed etc by my partner.
Having things out in the open could ease tension you didn't know was there
Having things out in the open could ease tension you didn't know was there
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
I suppose it depends on your wife. I'd hope she'd support you in whatever the issues are (I'm assuming they're not related to her) and if it were me I'd want to share my problems with my wife. Having said that, I can see why you might want to deal with your own issues so it doesn't become a potentially bigger issue between you and her, i.e. nip it in the bud.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. What's your gut approach without overthinking it?
Soldato
I think your wife will understand why you're trying to sort yourself out without burdening her. But I also think she'd want to help and be supportive. So my advice is to tell her, as she will appreciate the honesty and you'll both be more equipped to move forward.
I've always felt better when sharing these worries, even if I was very reluctant/apprehensive to do so.
Deleted member 651465
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Deleted member 651465
She asked me to get some help and I was reluctant to go to the doctor as I was changing jobs and didn’t want to be tarred with the MH brush, so to speak.
I chose to try and internalise things and deal with the issues myself without actually telling her, which I realise was a mistake now. By this I mean I was reading CBT articles, chatting to the nurse in work about mindfulness etc but nothing official and no tablets.
It’s upset her that I haven’t told her and that I took 8 months to get help from when she asked but I am getting help now and going to the doctors, but I just hope it’s not too late between us.
Caporegime
OK, well you took a position and it didn't work out as you'd hoped and now you're trying another solution to address the problem. That's how life goes sometimes and it seems like a very sensible way of dealing with things. If I were to guess I'd say your wife is more upset about the time lost (it wasn't lost, you had a plan, but let's leave that for now). This is the bit in the film when the person who needs help leans into the one who can provide support, or at least understanding, so I hope that comes through for you.
Caporegime
I eventually had to come clean with my partner, I avoided help and medication for 7-8 years and now I’m on a mild dose of sertraline which has balanced my mood out well over the past few months.
If they’re someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with (which I’d imagine is the case with it being your wife) then I would absolutely keep her updated. I can understand the reasons men don’t do this as they feel it’s a sign of weakness and it will turn their partner off them but if that’s the case then it’s not someone you should be with anyway.
If they’re someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with (which I’d imagine is the case with it being your wife) then I would absolutely keep her updated. I can understand the reasons men don’t do this as they feel it’s a sign of weakness and it will turn their partner off them but if that’s the case then it’s not someone you should be with anyway.
Did you ever use psychedelics? I messed about with mushrooms and dmt a few years back and suffered anxiety as a consequence. They are not as spiritually enriching as people claim, on the contrary I found.
Soldato
I've read several accounts of taking them and basically resetting the brain to help with certain mental health issues especially depression.
One of the main reasons that men don't tell the women in their lives is more down to the fact they don't want to discuss it each and every day. It's ok talking about it, but once you've spoken men normally like to deal with it. They'll talk about it if they then need to again, whereas the woman seem to want to check you're alright all the time which means constantly asking you. At least that's what I've noticed with my bunch of mates
Caporegime
My experience with them were long before my mental health issues.
They were definitely an enlightening experience for me but it depends on your mindset going into them and the setting.
I can definitely see them being used more frequently for mental health issues in the coming years, there is already strong evidence for certain substances and PTSD.
Soldato
I've suffered with mental health a lot since my head injury (SAH with DAI). I push myself until I'm ill. I've been on amitriptyline, sertraline and a couple of others. I've discovered I have acquired dyslexia as a result of the head injury and I am also showing bipolar elements.
To sum it up I've been suicidal for the last 10yrs and not a week goes by without me thinking about and hoping something happens that will release me from the agony inside my head. When it thunders I walk outside instead of driving and hope I get struck so I can be at peace.
I push myself so hard to be something better I often fail because of my limitations. Someone asked me the other week what my ambition in life is - I answered "to be content". Nothing more. I would love to wake up and just 'feel ok'.
I'm on Carbamazepine now to settle my moods and it is making it better but I still often have trouble if I'm left on my own - my mind wanders. I NEED to be busy or I go downhill very quickly.
I know it sounds bad but the reason I haven't done it is because some people do not get a choice and it wouldn't be right in my head. That's also why I wouldn't involve anyone else and my family has enough crap.
People have been sharing their stories and this is my unfiltered one.
To sum it up I've been suicidal for the last 10yrs and not a week goes by without me thinking about and hoping something happens that will release me from the agony inside my head. When it thunders I walk outside instead of driving and hope I get struck so I can be at peace.
I push myself so hard to be something better I often fail because of my limitations. Someone asked me the other week what my ambition in life is - I answered "to be content". Nothing more. I would love to wake up and just 'feel ok'.
I'm on Carbamazepine now to settle my moods and it is making it better but I still often have trouble if I'm left on my own - my mind wanders. I NEED to be busy or I go downhill very quickly.
I know it sounds bad but the reason I haven't done it is because some people do not get a choice and it wouldn't be right in my head. That's also why I wouldn't involve anyone else and my family has enough crap.
People have been sharing their stories and this is my unfiltered one.
Thanks for sharing your story helpimcool. Better out than in sometimes. And you’re not alone brother. Life can be relentless and hard, but there are always moments when you least expect them, not matter how trivial, that lift your spirit into a state of rejoicing and peace. Being content is worth striving for. Never give in!
Soldato
Thanks WT3-Bey. I have a tattoo on the inside of my arm saying NEVER GIVE UP because of the difficulties I knew was and still have. I have done some great things like raising thousands for charity and giving a speech at an awards ceremony in Paris but I've done a lot of self destructive things and still do. I said to my neuro rehab consultant it's hard to think I've been white knuckling it for years with zero help until this year.
I just want that one thing that just gives me clarity and hope.
I just want that one thing that just gives me clarity and hope.
That’s great, you’ve taken many good positive steps then (more than most would). Helping others and getting yourself out and about. And it’s ok to have a blow out sometimes, we all mess from time to time. Well I hope the rehab goes well, and you get the help you feel is right. Clarity and hope - give me some of that when you find it brother..
But seriously I hope you get sorted and find that inner peace. Something we all strive for.
But seriously I hope you get sorted and find that inner peace. Something we all strive for.
I'm really sorry to hear of this. I just googled those conditions, my heart goes out to you. I had a bad accident 2.5 years ago and smashed my head. Ihad swelling but no brain bleed. It kicked my butt for 2 years and i'm only just starting to turn the corner and see the light.
Just having a mild head injury completely changed me so i cannot imagine how tough it is for oyu. You deserve full respect for hanging in there. You are braver than most of us!
Soldato
I am just about to step on that path towards getting help. I've suffered with what I would say are extreme lows for a long time but this year has broken me. I was made reduntant, have been suffering what I thought were severe migraines but in fact, after a 10 day stint in hospital (most of that on the cardiac unit) it turns out they were in fact tension headaches due to a sky high blood pressure that I've had probably for the last two years and not realised. Yes I'd been to the GP but i was misdiagnosed.
Anyway I'm 35, on 5 different medications to stabilise my BP which isn't there yet so my BP is ALL over the place right now, and the side affects of the meds.. Well. Nobody knows what's causing it yet. I can't work because my BP and depression is just making it worse..
Oh you get the idea. I feel broken. More broken than I've ever been before. The funny thing about depression, for me, is that I've always felt I can beat it, always thought I don't need any help because there are people who are worse off than me who can deal with it etc. I don't know. I only went to the GP to review the medication and he told me he could see it in my face. I'm glad he did I guess, I probably would still be defiantly telling myself I could beat it whilst also doing nothing to actually deal with the problem.
Sorry, that's ramble I know. That's where I am right now. I feel for all you guys feeling worse than myself, I really do.
Anyway I'm 35, on 5 different medications to stabilise my BP which isn't there yet so my BP is ALL over the place right now, and the side affects of the meds.. Well. Nobody knows what's causing it yet. I can't work because my BP and depression is just making it worse..
Oh you get the idea. I feel broken. More broken than I've ever been before. The funny thing about depression, for me, is that I've always felt I can beat it, always thought I don't need any help because there are people who are worse off than me who can deal with it etc. I don't know. I only went to the GP to review the medication and he told me he could see it in my face. I'm glad he did I guess, I probably would still be defiantly telling myself I could beat it whilst also doing nothing to actually deal with the problem.
Sorry, that's ramble I know. That's where I am right now. I feel for all you guys feeling worse than myself, I really do.