OcUK Dadsnet thread

[Gengar]

How do you guys go for bikerides? My son is 4 in September (but 22kg), my daughter is 6 and can happily go at decent pace, but I could do with a way where all 4 of us (Mrs and kids) could go riding. The chairs seem OK but top out at his weight (the little fatty), has anyone used those things that look like a unicycle bolted to the back?

Depends on route.
4 yo and 5 yo sons go on their pedal bikes.
2 yo daughter goes on my bike on the front seat. Both my sons can still fit on the bike seat on my bike despite being over the weight "limit". It is bolted on to my bike as well as cargo strapped on so it isn't going anywhere. Never used the rear seats - only the front seats. I like to know if my kid is still attached and/or sleeping!
I also have the tag along that attaches to back of my bike too. Not suitable for shorter/younger kids. My 4 yo son can just now reach the pedals on that thing. I enjoy taking my kids out in this combination on some of the trickier/hillier terrain that they couldn't yet manage on their own bikes.

It is good to have multiple options to suit the terrain.

 

[theone8181]

Depends on route.
4 yo and 5 yo sons go on their pedal bikes.
2 yo daughter goes on my bike on the front seat. Both my sons can still fit on the bike seat on my bike despite being over the weight "limit". It is bolted on to my bike as well as cargo strapped on so it isn't going anywhere. Never used the rear seats - only the front seats. I like to know if my kid is still attached and/or sleeping!
I also have the tag along that attaches to back of my bike too. Not suitable for shorter/younger kids. My 4 yo son can just now reach the pedals on that thing. I enjoy taking my kids out in this combination on some of the trickier/hillier terrain that they couldn't yet manage on their own bikes.

It is good to have multiple options to suit the terrain.

I have seen some seats that go on the front, but they all seemed to be due for delivery in the middle of august.

 

[OZONE]

New dad here. Being a parent is literally the hardest thing ever. I don't know how to control my 8 month old. If you don't do what he wants (which means hours and hours of playtime and entertainment), he'll cry his eyes out. Furthermore, he's only really settled with my wife. Any advice or tips?

 

[NVP]

Ensure you've got their routine and schedule on strict lock, and that they're getting the right amount of naps oer day. Try to keep things wound down etc before playtime finishes and that they have set things they do to help them know what rime it is (milk before this nap etc) Good luck

 

[theone8181]

Depends on route.
4 yo and 5 yo sons go on their pedal bikes.
2 yo daughter goes on my bike on the front seat. Both my sons can still fit on the bike seat on my bike despite being over the weight "limit". It is bolted on to my bike as well as cargo strapped on so it isn't going anywhere. Never used the rear seats - only the front seats. I like to know if my kid is still attached and/or sleeping!
I also have the tag along that attaches to back of my bike too. Not suitable for shorter/younger kids. My 4 yo son can just now reach the pedals on that thing. I enjoy taking my kids out in this combination on some of the trickier/hillier terrain that they couldn't yet manage on their own bikes.

It is good to have multiple options to suit the terrain.

I've ordered a metal seat type thing for going infront of me. it doesn't have sides but my arms will be there. Whats the worst that could happen.

 

[simpletom]

I know I've mentioned the subject before breifly but the other half pointed out at 32 I'm not getting any younger and if we want to adopt we might have to look at it sooner or later. So spent part of the weekend trying to familarise myself with the process.

Anybody been through this as a parent? How long does it typically take? Some reading on line suggests almost a year with background checks, social workers etc etc. How does finding/matching a child work? I think we'd want a new born or a fairly young toddler.

Wife and I have just adopted a three year old and, all in, it took 14 months. However, delays were mainly down to the Covid issue.

It may seem a long process, but when the ball starts rolling then it goes surprisingly fast.

Attend every course you can and reach out to previous adopters. Each child is different and comes with their own baggage.

Ours has really taken to me and won't leave me alone, which is quite difficult at times. However, I should imagine that his life has been turned upside down and he finds it really tough to process.

So far he has been wonderful in terms of behaviour, but I expect that to change once he gets comfortable.

He came from a foster family of five, so I reckon he enjoys the attention. Plus, I do enjoy exercise so can keep up with him.

I haven't picked up the guitar, camera or been for a run since he arrived and I still think it was all worth it.

I was in the fortunate position of having worked with LACs for a number of years in teaching and also teach kids swimming as well, so learning to communicate at an appropriate level wasn't too bad.

If anybody is considering it, be prepared for some hard work. My personal profile was over 16 000 words long and my wife's similar. It is fairly intrusive, but the social workers are just doing their job.

One thing to remember: the child is effectively their client and is their primary concern.

If you need any more info, just ask.

 

[mjt]

@simpletom Good for you buddy

 

[Devrij]

Anyone here dealt with night terrors? My daughter had them before, but last night she was screaming for me, I went up and she had her eyes wide open, looked absolutely terrified and was screaming for me but didn't realise I was there. Obviously still asleep, but was really disconcerting and upsetting to see her having this terrifying experience and have her screaming out for me, but not being able to get "in" to help her. Had no memory of it today and was absolutely fine. Think I was more shook up!

 

[Minstadave]

Anyone here dealt with night terrors? My daughter had them before, but last night she was screaming for me, I went up and she had her eyes wide open, looked absolutely terrified and was screaming for me but didn't realise I was there. Obviously still asleep, but was really disconcerting and upsetting to see her having this terrifying experience and have her screaming out for me, but not being able to get "in" to help her. Had no memory of it today and was absolutely fine. Think I was more shook up!

They're totally normal and they just grow out of them. Our daughter had them for a couple of years. They bother parents more than the kids. Try to avoid getting them overtired.

 

[Devrij]

They're totally normal and they just grow out of them. Our daughter had them for a couple of years. They bother parents more than the kids. Try to avoid getting them overtired.

Yeah that's what I've read. It followed a couple nights of waking up in the middle of the night so we were thinking it was fairly textbook.

 

[Minstadave]

Yeah that's what I've read. It followed a couple nights of waking up in the middle of the night so we were thinking it was fairly textbook.

Yeah they sound very typical. Our daughter would do all sorts of weird stuff, talking, reaching out, almost hallucinating at times. You couldn't comfort her because she didn't know you were there.

 

[Quartz]

If you don't do what he wants (which means hours and hours of playtime and entertainment), he'll cry his eyes out.

Let him cry. You are the boss, not him. Just seem to ignore him.

 

[panthro]

Does anyone use an app on their ipad/tablet for kids that help them read and write? I've let my 4 year old start using my ipad for educational games only but a lot of them require payment or subscription. I'm not sure which ones are any good. She seems to like Lingokids a lot. Any recommendations?

 

[ash_scotland88]

If you need any more info, just ask.

That is a lot quicker than expected! I was expecting a 2-3 year delay from first enquiry and phone call, but I suppose if the perfect couple and child and be matched things will progress quicker.

 

[Quartz]

My nephew turns 18 this week. It seems only a short while ago I watched him learn to walk backwards.

 

[Devrij]

Does anyone use an app on their ipad/tablet for kids that help them read and write? I've let my 4 year old start using my ipad for educational games only but a lot of them require payment or subscription. I'm not sure which ones are any good. She seems to like Lingokids a lot. Any recommendations?

I found the same thing. There are a couple good ones on android but not sure if they exist on iOS. Mostly you get one tiny bit of the app and everything else is dlc. I wish I could remember the name of it, but there was this great one where they earned stickers for a sticker wall (and got to choose the sticker), and I swear I've never seen my daughter so enthused with literacy as when there was a virtual sticker on the end of it. This is her sitting next to some real stickers too

 

[smogsy]

New dad here. Being a parent is literally the hardest thing ever. I don't know how to control my 8 month old. If you don't do what he wants (which means hours and hours of playtime and entertainment), he'll cry his eyes out. Furthermore, he's only really settled with my wife. Any advice or tips?

so what if he cries his eyes out. leave him crying to he worksa out crying does nothing to aid him. DO NOT GIVE IN
#thankmelater

 

[Quartz]

I remember my niece throwing a tantrum in front of me. I just stood there impassively and explained that her mother and her brother had had to go to school and couldn't wait for her. Then she restarted her tantrum, and it was a routine, a move for move repeat. She quickly saw it was having no effect so she stopped mid-tantrum, just like that.

 

[theone8181]

I found the same thing. There are a couple good ones on android but not sure if they exist on iOS. Mostly you get one tiny bit of the app and everything else is dlc. I wish I could remember the name of it, but there was this great one where they earned stickers for a sticker wall (and got to choose the sticker), and I swear I've never seen my daughter so enthused with literacy as when there was a virtual sticker on the end of it. This is her sitting next to some real stickers too

My kids quite like the block triangle game. It's good for using the brain for problem solving but isn't for reading or writing.

 

[NVP]

I remember my niece throwing a tantrum in front of me. I just stood there impassively and explained that her mother and her brother had had to go to school and couldn't wait for her. Then she restarted her tantrum, and it was a routine, a move for move repeat. She quickly saw it was having no effect so she stopped mid-tantrum, just like that.

Fingers crossed we won't experience a proper tantrum but so far my wifey smashed it in terms of teaching my eldest how to voice his feelings, so instead of a giant 2 year old smashing things or whatever they do he simply says the cutest "I'm so disappointed, because it's raining so I cannot go outside" or "I'm so upset, because it's finished" (his TV show).

I recommend whole heartedly attempting the same. Basically, whenever they get upset or angry or whatever you first ask them what they feel, or why they are upset, then you repeat it back to them "oh baby, I know you're upset that you can't go outside," or "I know you're disappointed you can't finish your TV show but you have already watched one episode which was nice and you can watch more tomorrow" etc. Eventually they tell you without prompt.

Give them tools to use, then they shouldn't be so dramatic when communicating or expressing their emotions