The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

malachi said:
Don't what men you hang around with or even what age but 95% of what women talk about is either an complaint or gossip. And I know plenty of women who agree with this :D

But I'm not their gay best friend so I dont have to hear any of it. :)
Click to expand...

I grew up with sisters in with my mum. My 3 cousins were women too. And my step dad, although he was great, it was difficult at times due to personality clash.

If you didn't know I was male (ie you couldn't see me and my voice was masked) you'd probably have a hard time knowing if I was male or female.

I talk a lot, about nothing.
 
Raymond Lin said:
I think he is saying "potential bunny boiler, AVOID AVOID!"

We went to Ueno zoo and I don't think I have ever seen anyone so happy about seeing animals!
Click to expand...
Yes. I'm having to explain my jokes more and more, so they're probably not funny.

It's a reference to the film Fatal Attraction. She was a bunny boiler. Parrot was mentioned, it's a play on that.

But, it's a light hearted joke. No offence. I'm sure she's lovely.

And for all the singletons. Chin up. I used to be there and I'll have been married for 15 years in March, to a real woman.
 
Raymond Lin said:
Snip
Click to expand...
So did you hit it or not yet? That's probably the most important thing - if you have then she's already yours if you're both making plans to see each other again. If not, then it's perfectly set up for when you go back next weekend, and she will be putty in your hands after.

Either way, no need to be scared, just go for it. If it's meant to be you will find a way to be together, that's the easy part. The hard part is finding that someone, which you already have.
 
sidimmu said:
And if you're not, you've ruined the friendship, proceed with caution, to a degree :D
Click to expand...
Well I think that was the case. Not sure what I did, but she's ghosted me all week and not read the message I sent. Strange as I thought she was showing interest, messaging me every day for weeks, meeting each other a couple times a week and inviting me out places but then going 100% to 0 literally over night and ignoring me. I'll give it until the weekend until I try again so I don't hassle her but am guessing it's done. We're both supposed to be adults and I'm too old for this messing around ignoring lark, I'd rather people were just honest. I've managed to mess up two relationships in two weeks, that's got to be a record. And to top it all off, my ex messaged today to say she's moving back in to the spare room as she's got nowhere else to stay. I can't say no as she owns the house as well.
 
Street said:
Well I think that was the case. Not sure what I did, but she's ghosted me all week and not read the message I sent. Strange as I thought she was showing interest, messaging me every day for weeks, meeting each other a couple times a week and inviting me out places but then going 100% to 0 literally over night and ignoring me. I'll give it until the weekend until I try again so I don't hassle her but am guessing it's done.
Click to expand...

Don't bother doing that, never double text someone. If they wanted to response then they would have by now as everybody knows women are ALWAYS on their phones.

Yes we are adults but doesn't stop them from being cowards.
 
malachi said:
Don't bother doing that, never double text someone. If they wanted to response then they would have by now as everybody knows women are ALWAYS on their phones.

Yes we are adults but doesn't stop them from being cowards.
Click to expand...

I agree with this.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.
If you are interested in the other person the best result of them texting twice is "nothing". At worst the double texter could put you off.

If someone is interested they are going to reply to that one text. And if they arent? A second text is not suddenly going to change that.
 
Last edited:
In my head, I know that makes sense. It's just frustrating. We've also got tickets to an event next week which is annoying. It would just be nice to know why the sudden change, it's pretty crappy to just go silent.
 
This likely sounds “redpill” or whatever the current term is but it does sound like she’s one of those women who enjoys being chased but as soon as someone shows genuine interest they get turned off.

Don’t take it personally, it’s all too common nowadays and people like that are best avoided as they are nightmare relationship material.
 
Last edited:
Street said:
In my head, I know that makes sense. It's just frustrating. We've also got tickets to an event next week which is annoying. It would just be nice to know why the sudden change, it's pretty crappy to just go silent.
Click to expand...
The thing that made me bail on Internet dating was this.

I had been seeing a girl for about a month. 6-7 dates in.

Everything was fine no issues etc. One occasion I even went with her to pick up a car.
It was new years eve and suddenly the conversation stopped. Out of nowhere.


We all know ghosting is a thing. Especially after a first date. But 7 dates? Just say you're not interested or something.

In hindsight I assume she was still looking and found something better. But after that time you'd expect a reply.

Gave up after that.
 
Last edited:
Street said:
Well I think that was the case. Not sure what I did, but she's ghosted me all week and not read the message I sent. Strange as I thought she was showing interest, messaging me every day for weeks, meeting each other a couple times a week and inviting me out places but then going 100% to 0 literally over night and ignoring me.
Click to expand...
she hasn't seen the thread, other gender climbing partners spotting,belaying(leading?) is a pretty intimate/distinct relationship - in all these gymsbars
 
Haha, I hope not!
It's probably for the best anyway as I don't think either of us are in particularly great places but it was a fun distraction while it lasted.
 
Well, that's it. I've ended it with my Mrs. 3-weeks ago she went in for a procedure on her finger, and then for no reason whatsoever she texted me telling me she wanted some space to recover as it was painful. Seeing as how it's nearly Christmas and we haven't planned anything yet I messaged her today, 3-weeks later, just asking how she's doing, is she alright and what does she want to do about Christmas. Cue the usual toxic reply, this time she's saying I didn't give her the space she asked for and she doesn't want to plan anything. So that's it, I've had it up to my back teeth with her toxic behaviour and her always bending everything so it's my fault. She's a psychotherapist, but she never turns it off. So I'm not going to miss her constantly diagnosing me with all manner of conditions, something she does to other people as well not just me.

Yes I'm hurting, because I really do love her. But there's only so much of this crap a guy can take before he just has to say enough is enough.
 
Malevolence said:
Well, that's it. I've ended it with my Mrs. 3-weeks ago she went in for a procedure on her finger, and then for no reason whatsoever she texted me telling me she wanted some space to recover as it was painful. Seeing as how it's nearly Christmas and we haven't planned anything yet I messaged her today, 3-weeks later, just asking how she's doing, is she alright and what does she want to do about Christmas. Cue the usual toxic reply, this time she's saying I didn't give her the space she asked for and she doesn't want to plan anything. So that's it, I've had it up to my back teeth with her toxic behaviour and her always bending everything so it's my fault. She's a psychotherapist, but she never turns it off. So I'm not going to miss her constantly diagnosing me with all manner of conditions, something she does to other people as well not just me.

Yes I'm hurting, because I really do love her. But there's only so much of this crap a guy can take before he just has to say enough is enough.
Click to expand...

Yeah man you have one stint on this planet so don't waste it on a pain in the arse.

Oh yeah.. And delete all contact details etc. Delete chat history. Number. Block on social media etc. Just go full blackout on her. If she's got stuff in your house just leave it outside.
 
Last edited:
I did ask her the same thing funny enough, also asked her how she was able to post on Facebook and play on the PlayStation but wasn't able to text me. Just a shame we live so far apart, otherwise I'd have been around and we might've sorted it out.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom