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I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked...... 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
** ALLOY ALLOY! WHATS GOING ON HERE THEN?! COMPETITION **
- Thread starter NikTheSHNIK
- Start date
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There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Mar 2010
- Posts
- 4,084
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh.
He was looking for pooh.
Soldato
What jumps out of the desert screaming ****, arse, ********, *****?
Crude oil.
Or:
Guy visiting Ireland, stuck out in the countryside as the suns going down and a little lost.
Looking around he sees some lights on top of a hill so he starting heading towards them.
Going up the hill there's this beautiful white picket fence all the way up the side of the road.
So he gets to the top and find the lights are from a pub, he heads inside.
Inside, the place is deserted, just the barman looking at him from behind the bar.
He wanders up and orders a pint.
The barman, while pulling his pint asks him (in your best Irish accent): "So, did you see the fence on the way up there?"
The chap nods..
"Aye" says the barman "took me about 2 weeks to build that fence and about another 5 ****ing days to paint it. Proper labour of love that was...
But do they call me Jones the fence painter? Noooo" and hands him the freshly pulled pint.
The chaps looking around still at the deserted bar, barman asks him "So, d'ya like the place? It's solid mahogany top on this ****ing bar and I helped the guy from the brewery put the pumps in myself..." He says, knocking on the bar with his knuckles.
But do they call me Jones the bar builder? Noooo".
So the chaps supping his pint, the barman asks "So, hows the pint? Is the head alright on it?" the chap answers that it's a lovely pint. Barman says "aye, you'll not find a finer ****ing pint o' Guinness outside o' Dublin, but do they call me Jones the pint puller? Noooo..."
"But you **** just ONE goat...."
I've made it my own over the years but started (and well told) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A85ipUgy5B4
Crude oil.
Or:
Guy visiting Ireland, stuck out in the countryside as the suns going down and a little lost.
Looking around he sees some lights on top of a hill so he starting heading towards them.
Going up the hill there's this beautiful white picket fence all the way up the side of the road.
So he gets to the top and find the lights are from a pub, he heads inside.
Inside, the place is deserted, just the barman looking at him from behind the bar.
He wanders up and orders a pint.
The barman, while pulling his pint asks him (in your best Irish accent): "So, did you see the fence on the way up there?"
The chap nods..
"Aye" says the barman "took me about 2 weeks to build that fence and about another 5 ****ing days to paint it. Proper labour of love that was...
But do they call me Jones the fence painter? Noooo" and hands him the freshly pulled pint.
The chaps looking around still at the deserted bar, barman asks him "So, d'ya like the place? It's solid mahogany top on this ****ing bar and I helped the guy from the brewery put the pumps in myself..." He says, knocking on the bar with his knuckles.
But do they call me Jones the bar builder? Noooo".
So the chaps supping his pint, the barman asks "So, hows the pint? Is the head alright on it?" the chap answers that it's a lovely pint. Barman says "aye, you'll not find a finer ****ing pint o' Guinness outside o' Dublin, but do they call me Jones the pint puller? Noooo..."
"But you **** just ONE goat...."
I've made it my own over the years but started (and well told) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A85ipUgy5B4
Last edited:
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog
Soldato
your mum
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- 19 Nov 2011
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Was a fight in the chip shop the other day.
Fish got battered!
Fish got battered!
Soldato
"Good moaning! I was just ****ing your coffee, when I thought I'd drip in for a drunk."
Yes, I mis-read the title as Allo Allo.
Yes, I mis-read the title as Allo Allo.
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What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt
Usain Bolt
Soldato
Why didn't the fly go near the computer?
...
Because he was afraid he would get caught by the web.
Bertstare.
...
Because he was afraid he would get caught by the web.
Bertstare.
Soldato
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Has anybody heard the one about the Chinese programmer?
Loa-ding!
Good luck everybody!
Stoner81.
Loa-ding!
Good luck everybody!
Stoner81.