** ALLOY ALLOY! WHATS GOING ON HERE THEN?! COMPETITION **
- Thread starter NikTheSHNIK
- Start date
Associate
What is 6.9?
A really great thing ruined by a period.
A really great thing ruined by a period.
Associate
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Soldato
Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because the parrots-eat-em-all
Because the parrots-eat-em-all
Associate
What's the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms?
One's a Goodyear; the other was a great year.
Man of Honour
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Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Associate
What did Britain say to its trade partners?
"See EU later."
"See EU later."
Soldato
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Soldato
gold and aluminum go for a walk, gold runs off, aluminum shouts' AU!
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Aug 2009
- Posts
- 2,931
I've got an auntie who works at the water board, would you like to meet her?
Associate
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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Why was the octopus laughing?
I am going to have to admit a) this is not original material and b) as a grown man this made me laugh way more than it should have done when someone told me the other day.
Because he had ten tickles!
I am going to have to admit a) this is not original material and b) as a grown man this made me laugh way more than it should have done when someone told me the other day.
Soldato
I went to the doctor last week, I have a wind problem you see. I explained that it was getting quite embarrassing, not just the noise but also the stench, he told me to let one go to see if he could help.......well I let the biggest, loudest, smelliest ripper I could let go without having to go for a checkwipe, the doc went over to the corner of the room and got this 3 foot pole with a big hook on the end of it, I said "you arent planning putting that thing up my bottom are you" He said " No I'm opening all the windows, you fkin reek"