What's happened, that's a lot to give up.
Well it's officially over now, I'm broken and honestly so confused, the situation is so ****** up.
Trying to cut it down, she's a teacher (head of department). In September she recruited a new teacher for the team, let's call
her S. First few months were fine, then I think from about December I noticed they were messaging a lot, didn't think anything of it, I was happy she had found a new friend. We invited her and her Fiancé (guy) round for NYE (my suggestion), first time I properly met them and I liked them both.
The first couple of weeks of January I don't really know what happened, but they were spending all spare time together. She came over a couple of Sunday's and they baked, I noticed S was getting quite tactile about things and I found it a bit odd. Spoke to my partner and she said that's just how she is. Then one Sunday I walked in the kitchen and they both had this stupidly awkward look/body language and I could tell something was up, I raised it after she left and 'it was nothing'. When she was showing me something on her phone that evening she received a message, "we need to be more careful at yours". This was explained by that I might be getting jealous of them hugging/being under a blanket whilst watching TV. That evening I did something I have never done and looked at her messages, it was horrendous. Over the next few days I tried to get her to admit anything, then I finally came clean and said I saw the messages and they were once again fobbed off.
At that point I knew it was over, but was clinging on to any hope that we could make it work. She told me she has feelings for her and she will discuss with her that she has them, and she will try to make us work again. Well, apparently she felt the same way and she broke up with her Fiancé on Friday last week (they were together 8 years and due to be married in August) citing "I don't feel the same way anymore, I'm not happy" spiel. The exact same words that my partner told me over a few days before she finally ended it with me.
I feel so ******* mad inside, but I just can't be mad at her and I don't know why. I moved my life here because she wanted to be near her family, and now I feel I have nothing. I feel she has changed, she's not herself and her best friend feels the same way. I'm scared she's been manipulated away from me but maybe I'm just looking for excuses? I know it's over, but I just can't really process it in my head at the moment.
I've spoken to S's ex a little bit, I think we both expected something but never quite fully understood the gravity of the situation. I feel just as sorry for him that she didn't even try to make it work. Just throwing away 8 years for nothing.
The good news is I started being upset before it was officially over, so I feel I'm through the worst of it, but I still have the odd time I just want to full on break down and cry. Just need to sort out the mess of the house as we're only 18 months into a 5 year fixed mortgage.....
Sigh.
