Am I that nasty, really?

[randomshenans]

I love where this thread has gone

 

[Jean-F]

Which is true?

As for your original question, I think you weren't that nasty. You said you were amazed, not that you were malicious. Your wife, however, was malicious. So she was nastier than you were. Whether or not that bothers you is your business (and it seems that it doesn't).

I wouldn't have been amazed. Many people don't want to learn new things, especially when they have someone else to do it for them. Or maybe it pleases your wife to do this sort of thing for her brother. Maybe he knows that and asks her even though he knows how to do it himself.

Both are true, if I push her too far, (and I REALLY should know by now), she will lambast me with great spite and volume, but it rarely exceeds, 'nasty *******', or 'supercilious son-of-a-bitch.'
It may have been cumulative memories of past transgressions that triggered the "C" bomb.
In fact, when she's in full vitriolic outburst mode, she'll sometimes mispronounce supercilious, and I really push the envelope, and point out her mistake, and how to say it correctly.
This normally results in **** YOU!, followed by the slamming of the door.
You're right, it doesn't bother me, I love her to bits.
I could bring any and all arguments to an end if I'd just learn to keep my trap shut, but she's probably right, I'm too dumb too learn.

You may be right about it pleasing her to help her brother, she has his back all the time.
He's a gambling addict, and HAS to have a bet every day.
When I've said in the past that her family should perhaps point out the error of his ways to him, she flies to his defence, "Leave him alone he enjoys a bet, always has."

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

6 in Chinese!

 

[drunkenmaster]

It's kind of like the condition "learned helplessness" (not strictly but kinda...).

This is why instead of fixing pc problems for family I direct them to teach themselves.

It's mental laziness most of the time, they don't want to expend mental energy to learn how to google bus fares etc and just play dumb so someone else will do it for them. Obviously this is not always the case but I find it is a lot of the time....

Yup, looking up a train time doesn't require intelligence, who can't turn on a computer, open the browser and type in exactly what they want. Want a train ticket you search for train tickets in google. It's not that they can't do it, it's that because they've never done it, because someone always does it for them they've either never felt the need to do it for themselves or have asked someone else for so long they are scared to do it themselves.

The saying should be give a man a fish, he'll never realise he can learn to fish for himself and he'll ask you for a fish every day unless you say no, teach a man to fish, that man won't bug the **** out of you for the rest of your life.

Wife is either an enabler type who just won't say no and lets herself be used or is the superior type, as in, the more people ask her for help even over simple things the more of the 'smart one' status she gains in her family and the more superior she can feel.

 

[CREATIVE!11]

Yup, looking up a train time doesn't require intelligence, who can't turn on a computer, open the browser and type in exactly what they want. Want a train ticket you search for train tickets in google. It's not that they can't do it, it's that because they've never done it, because someone always does it for them they've either never felt the need to do it for themselves or have asked someone else for so long they are scared to do it themselves.

The saying should be give a man a fish, he'll never realise he can learn to fish for himself and he'll ask you for a fish every day unless you say no, teach a man to fish, that man won't bug the **** out of you for the rest of your life.

Wife is either an enabler type who just won't say no and lets herself be used or is the superior type, as in, the more people ask her for help even over simple things the more of the 'smart one' status she gains in her family and the more superior she can feel.

Yep, It's funny you mention that. I was going to put that in my original post. Give a man a fish and he can feed himself for a day, teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for a lifetime. That old chestnut.

 

[asim18]

I don't see anything wrong with this. It's your wife's brother.

Usually siblings should be able to work out who is better at doing certain tasks best and usually they have no problems taking them on because they are family.

I mean if I told my brother to make me a sandwich he'd know I'm not serious, if I told my sister I'm hungry she would make me something to eat without question.

Who on earth is a brother-in-law to get in the way of my sister doing something for me lol.

If my wife ever got in the way of me doing a favour for my brother/sister I'd tell her to mind her own business.

 

[Jean-F]

I don't see anything wrong with this. It's your wife's brother.

Usually siblings should be able to work out who is better at doing certain tasks best and usually they have no problems taking them on because they are family.

I mean if I told my brother to make me a sandwich he'd know I'm not serious, if I told my sister I'm hungry she would make me something to eat without question.

Who on earth is a brother-in-law to get in the way of my sister doing something for me lol.

If my wife ever got in the way of me doing a favour for my brother/sister I'd tell her to mind her own business.

Maybe I didn't explain it properly in my OP, I WASN'T getting in the way of my wife doing her brother a favour, I was telling her, (granted in very strong terms), that it seemed incredible to me that in 2017, and at his age, that he couldn't check on train times himself.
If she wants to hold his hand every time he crosses the road, that's her prerogative, but I think that I'd be entitled to point out that if she keeps doing that, he'll never cross the road on his own.

Yup, looking up a train time doesn't require intelligence, who can't turn on a computer, open the browser and type in exactly what they want. Want a train ticket you search for train tickets in google. It's not that they can't do it, it's that because they've never done it, because someone always does it for them they've either never felt the need to do it for themselves or have asked someone else for so long they are scared to do it themselves.

The saying should be give a man a fish, he'll never realise he can learn to fish for himself and he'll ask you for a fish every day unless you say no, teach a man to fish, that man won't bug the **** out of you for the rest of your life.

Wife is either an enabler type who just won't say no and lets herself be used or is the superior type, as in, the more people ask her for help even over simple things the more of the 'smart one' status she gains in her family and the more superior she can feel.

In your final paragraph, it is 100% NOT the 'smart one' status, my wife is emphatically the enabler who won't say no.

 

[Gabbatek]

For someone who is married you sound like a newbie to dating!

Every man should know not to get involved in a womans business unless she asks or suspect shes cheating.

 

[Jean-F]

For someone who is married you sound like a newbie to dating!

Every man should know not to get involved in a womans business unless she asks or suspect shes cheating.

Forgive me, (but I couldn't care less if you don't), but a quick perusal of your posting history suggests that you are mentally too immature to expect anyone of reasonable intellect to take your input seriously.

 

[pinkpound]

I am with you Jean-F my wife has referred to me as a "C" and a "T" over the years , but that is because I can be both at times and slowly over 24 years of marriage she has come around to my way of thinking

Tho I can still surprise her sometimes

 

[Hades]

I would dream of calling my wife a C or other such names and I also wouldn't stand for her calling me them. It's just plain rude.

 

[Ocean Breeze]

Don't get married and stay away from idiots who cannot even use Google.

 

[Telecaster]

I would dream of calling my wife a C or other such names and I also wouldn't stand for her calling me them. It's just plain rude.

Everyone is different. Some people have that relationship with wife/partner similar to that of a friend that share a very similar sense of humour and banter. I personally wouldn't call a partner a 'see you next Tuesday' but I know couples that do and it's not unusual.

Also that word isn't as severe as it once was, especially in the south where it's ubiquitous now. Don't ever work on a building site if you don't like that word, I say it on purpose now as a bloke I work with always feigns insult when he hears it, to a comical degree as though someone has just punched him in the face. Sad ****

 

[Pestilence]

What happened to this thread, lol.

If some of you ever encountered a Northern Irish person you'd end up apoplectic over the use of the "C" word in every minor application.

 

[jsmoke]

What happened to this thread, lol.

If some of you ever encountered a Northern Irish person you'd end up apoplectic over the use of the "C" word in every minor application.

Why are there so many trashy people in the UK, especially the teens, it beggars belief, why is that. It's suprising that we still operate at all.

 

[Pestilence]

Why are there so many trashy people in the UK, especially the teens, it beggars belief, why is that. It's suprising that we still operate at all.

Who knows, mate. Who knows?!?

 

[Dirk Diggler]

Your wife knows you better than anyone here, and I'm sure she wasn't basing her personal assessment of you on this isolated exchange. If she says you're a nasty **** then you probably are.

 

[Jean-F]

Your wife knows you better than anyone here, and I'm sure she wasn't basing her personal assessment of you on this isolated exchange. If she says you're a nasty **** then you probably are.

Gee thanks String, it doesn't get any better than receiving a psycholigical assessment of one's personality, from someone who doesn't know you from Adam.
Not sure just how much of a nasty **** I am, but after 36 years together, twice having woken up in hospital, (once in an I.C.U.) to find her crying by my bedside, it's taking a long time to sink in with my wife.

 

[Dirk Diggler]

Gee thanks String, it doesn't get any better than receiving a psycholigical assessment of one's personality, from someone who doesn't know you from Adam.

You didn't receive the assessment from someone who doesn't know you from Adam, you received it from someone who's known you for 36 years. That was my point.

Not sure just how much of a nasty **** I am, but after 36 years together, twice having woken up in hospital, (once in an I.C.U.) to find her crying by my bedside, it's taking a long time to sink in with my wife.

Can you be sure she was crying before you woke up?

 

[aardvark]

Can you be sure she was crying before you woke up?

HA!!