Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

[Curio]

Voted yes, but it's rarely black and white. In the case of the thread referenced, A & B were teenagers who had been together a few months. In that situation A & B should be exploring what life has to offer and not tying themselves down to each other. Not saying they shouldn't be together in the long term - maybe it will turn out that way if they're supposed to be together. That's great. But honestly, life is too unpredictable (and wonderfully so) at that age. Go with the flow.

However, if A & B were, say, late 20's, living together, had a dog, and clearly in a position to be committed, then A & B should not be messing around and C (assuming they know the situation) should stay well away. But even then....even if A & B were married....stuff happens....you can't help who you fall for.

In other words, I don't believe in a definitive YES or NO. Life isn't like that.

 

[linktoinsanity]

5 pages and not a single mention of a 3way? Very disappointed in you GD

I assumed that's what "Pancake" meant?

 

[Aldav]

If person A wants to sleep with C, break up with B.

If C wants A knowing A is with B, C is also wrong. Get A to break up with B, or leave them alone.

This is because the OP asked what was "right", not what people actually do, real world.

 

[fatiain]

How odd. Women never chase me. They tend to do the opposite.

Me too, it's only happened once. I'm well rid!

 

[FloppyPoppy]

How odd. Women never chase me. They tend to do the opposite.

 

[Nitefly]

C is a **** because their actions may cause B upset? behave yourself. C is a stupid **** if they don't take a risk that may bring them some pleasure in life.

There's a lot of truth in this - there is a balance between being considerate of others and looking out for number one. I try not to be reckless with hearts and try not to put up with those who are reckless with mine /sunscreen.

Also, lol at "people gunna peep"

 

[Musicofthemind]

If A does not tell C about B how does C know he is doing something wrong?
Blame lies with A

 

[Burnsy2023]

If A does not tell C about B how does C know he is doing something wrong?
Blame lies with A

Read the third line of the OP.

 

[Glaucus]

Far to simplistic view in op, it can be much more complicated than that.
However there's only one person who's cheated in such a scenario, there's only one person, person B has shared a commitment with.

And are you that insecure that you think your other half will cheat if they get offers, women and to a slightly less extant men get offers all the time.

 

[Curio]

Far to simplistic view in op, it can be much more complicated than that.
However there's only one person who's cheated in such a scenario, there's only one person, person B has shared a commitment with.

And are you that insecure that you think your other half will cheat if they get offers, women and to a slightly less extant men get offers all the time.

I never get offers

Unless......how about it, Glaucus? I think my missus would understand, what with your lengthy post count

 

[cainer]

what with your lengthy post count

mentioning post count is bad Mkay :/

 

[Thekwango]

Once a cheat...

old wives tale.....

I disagree, it always takes two to tango...

certainly does, but only 1 person invited the other to dance

Because I can't respect someone who cheats and a life long loving relationship requires mutual respect..

why do you not respect them? you stop to ask the reason she's cheating? or is there no justification in your moral handbook that could justify cheating?

I'm not having a pop btw I'm genuinely curious, and actually commend your virtuous stance even though I don't agree or believe a bit of it to be right.

 

[Thekwango]

If A does not tell C about B how does C know he is doing something wrong?
Blame lies with A

Read the third line of the OP.

ouch!!

 

[glenimp617]

We've had this conversation multiple times over the years on OCUK

Like I said before, I worked for a high level tech security firm. Under certain circumstances we had to read company text messages. You'd be surprised at the number of people having affairs. It was a real eye opener.
Then my next two companies was pretty much the same. Totally different sectors, yet you always heard on the grapevine about things going on.

anyway, if anyone cheats its usually because something has gone wrong in the relationships. It takes two to make a relationship work. Yes, cheating is never justified and the couple should always work to make things right.

I was amazed really, as little naive me though that cheating happened on a small scale

It's usually the people more vocal about why it's so wrong. They are the worst lol

 

[Schlong&Stable]

How odd. Women never chase me. They tend to do the opposite.

Time to get rid of your Fritizl aesthetic.

 

[glenimp617]

Time to get rid of your Fritizl aesthetic.

or is it

 

[Roar87]

Other Men won't respect your relationship unless they're your friends (sometimes not even then) or they know you'll beat them up (and sometimes not even then), that's life.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

is there no justification in your moral handbook that could justify cheating?

IMO there is always something that can be done to avoid cheating. If She is treated badly or doesn't get her fill, then communicate with your partner. If they want to leave the relationship, then tell your partner. If your partner is not capable then discuss options openly.

The act of cheating requires going behind your partners back (and person's C ) regardless of the justification or the reasons. Transparency in these matters prior to the cheating can often resolve issues one way or another.

If i felt the need to cheat, i would talk to my partner why i am unhappy about this or that. If they cant come to terms with it and wont budge, then either I settle with what i have already or move on.

What reasons could justify cheating above other options?

I wouldn't say i respect other peoples relationship but rather i can empathise with Person B.

 

[Thekwango]

Other Men won't respect your relationship unless they're your friends (sometimes not even then) or they know you'll beat them up (and sometimes not even then), that's life.

what utter nonsense.

 

[Burnsy2023]

what utter nonsense.

Indeed.