Asking someone where they are from

I have had a few people ask me this question "Where are you really from?" since last year. I give the answer "I'm from England."

Then I get the "No...where are you REALLY from!?!?!" Never been asked this question over the years I have travelled the world.

Must be a new thing? :confused:
 
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i've often asked someone where they are from originally, grew up, were born, their ancestors. it's out of interest. i like meeting people from different cultures
you have to judge it right though obviously and accept their answer
it will be a sad day when we can't ask each other where we are from without being a racist
 
Blackjack Davy said:
But following this I would think twice about asking because I'd possibly be accused of being racist or at least prejudiced. Or whatever someone decidess they ought to be offended by and ergo I'm a wicked and evil person who needs to be expunged from society.
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This is the part I don't get. You only have to slightly change the wording and you're in the all clear.

"Where are you from?"
"Bristol"
"No, sorry, what I meant what is your heritage"

It's only when you go down the "no, where are you really from?" route that you start entering dodgy waters.
 
Junglist said:
This is the part I don't get. You only have to slightly change the wording and you're in the all clear.

"Where are you from?"
"Bristol"
"No, sorry, what I meant what is your heritage"

It's only when you go down the "no, where are you really from?" route that you start entering dodgy waters.
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Exactly. It is all in the implication that she couldnt possibly be really from Britain (and the only reason she could think that, having just met her, is the colour of her skin)
 
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VincentHanna said:
I think some people here think you have to hate black people to be racist. Like a white supremacist.

But Racism isn't necessarily antagonist behaviour, it's also prejudice.

The prejudice here is assuming a black person isn't really British because of the colour of her skin. Simple as that.

I don't think this 83 year old woman hated black people, but she probably didn't ask the same question to any of the white people there.
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So the 83 year old was very midly racist?
 
Jono8 said:
"Your people"

Again, awful.
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How about answering the question, is that phrasing with “your people" not the same as “and what heritage are you?"

If that’s awful, especially in context of the event and who she was talking to , then what is having a charity only for women of African or Caribbean heritage meant to be?
 
Demon said:
How about answering the question, is that phrasing with “your people" not the same as “and what heritage are you?"

If that’s awful, especially in context of the event and who she was talking to , then what is having a charity only for women of African or Caribbean heritage meant to be?
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Yes, "Your people" is completely different to "your heritage". One is implying she can only possibly be the nationality of her ancestors and cannot be considered British (n the context of the conversation this thread is about).

Also, what has the charity got to do with anything?

Not every charity caters for every possible problem/demographic/illness etc.
 
'Your people' suggests you can only belong to one group. My people or Your people. Heritage is just that. What came before you. It doesn't suggest you're not part of the 'same people'.

Do you have issues with all the various charities that focus on a particular cause?

How some of you have managed to navigate life is amazing.

edit: What @Jono8 said.
 
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The use of the word 'really' is one of those words that can have condescending tones if used in a certain way. I.e it implies you don't believe the person, or its a word that implies exaggeration or extension of the underlying phrase. There is probably a more accurate dictionary mechanism here that describes this better than I am.

We can all agree the question was asked poorly, but is SH racist?

Jono8 said:
I don't believe it does. You could simply ask "were your parents British too or did they emigrate to Britain from somewhere?" Or "Do you identify with any other cultures?"

NOT "yeh, but where are you really from?"
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But was it just a poor choice of words, in the midst of a busy room full of people who SH is having to try and converse with, perhaps not really enjoying doing so, to make small talk?

Condescending - yes absolutely seems so from the transcript.
Pushy - yes
A bit rude and/or arrogant - yes

No one can know if SH is racist unless you can read her thoughts somehow. Old fashioned use of language (for someone involved in senior monarchy (i.e toff) circles for long, is probably quite explainable, not right, but explainable) does not mean someone is racist or even stereotyping someone.
 
danlightbulb said:
The use of the word 'really' is one of those words that can have condescending tones if used in a certain way. I.e it implies you don't believe the person, or its a word that implies exaggeration or extension of the underlying phrase. There is probably a more accurate dictionary mechanism here that describes this better than I am.

We can all agree the question was asked poorly, but is SH racist?



But was it just a poor choice of words, in the midst of a busy room full of people who SH is having to try and converse with, perhaps not really enjoying doing so, to make small talk?

Condescending - yes absolutely seems so from the transcript.
Pushy - yes
A bit rude and/or arrogant - yes

No one can know if SH is racist unless you can read her thoughts somehow. Old fashioned use of language (for someone involved in senior monarchy (i.e toff) circles for long, is probably quite explainable, not right, but explainable) does not mean someone is racist or even stereotyping someone.
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I've said as much in this thread earlier (that i cannot say whether this woman is overtly/consciously racist). Only SH herself knows that.

She is however an ambassador for the Royal Family and it seems part of her duties are to talk with people. It is obvious from this exchange, that she is perhaps not well equipped to do so.
 
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