I hope you enjoy reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
----
Hi there BFG support,
I received my replacement card this afternoon from fed ex with great
anticipation and excitement.
Tearing through the protective seals of the box, bubble wrap popping
around me, my hands furiously unravel the anti-static bag to find....
... An overwhelming stench of industrial solvents, it was almost as if
the last occupants of this bag, were two hormonal cans of WD40.
Blinded by their overpowering desires for one another, they'd made romance
explosion.
'No matter' I told myself, 'Soon I'll have my replacement set up and I
can continue on with my life, without having to waste any more time.'
Unfortunately, my child like sense of optimism was crushed, like
'Bubbles' the birthday puppy under 18 wheels worth of truck.
First problem was that the received card was completely different from
the card I had RMA'ed. Instantly rendering my SLi setup useless.
'Hooray!' I exclaimed, now I have much higher fps in games where I don't
need them and lower fps in games that I do! Although at this
point the miasma of WD40 was beginning to fill the room, so perhaps I
was a little delirious.
But the real heart breaker, and the reason why I feel so compelled to
share my story with you today, is that the card doesn't work.
I know, I know... after all of that you'd think the happy ending would
be all the sweeter, but no, at the slightest hint of work the card
metaphorically craps it's pants
and hard locks the system. I have collected samples of it's droppings
and can provide them if you'd think close examination would prove fruitful.
I've found, that if you just stick to 2D applications or just move the
mouse around the Windows desktop exclusively,
the card works fantastically! and I recommend it to those who enjoying
purchasing products because their NHS mental health nurse allowed them
within arms reach of someone's credit card.
So with a weary sigh, I replace the defective 260 with my old trust
worthy 8800 and the cycle of woe begins anew. I notice that the picture
on the front of my
8800 gtx is foreboding. A man, grasping his head in frustration, A man,
who's eyes burn frantically in search of a solution, A man, I don't want
to turn in to.
Before me is a cross road, down the left, one gnarly path, I can see
people, hundreds of them, forever stuck in post office queues. Their
clothes tattered, feet
dirty and bandaged, eyes deep wells of hopelessness and despair.
On the right, a golden shiny highway, I see flying cars, rainbow ponies,
money trees and perhaps, 'although I dare not dream' customers receiving
working cross-shipped rma's from fed ex.
I don't want to go left BFG, I want to have a life, one day perhaps
children, so for the sake of humanity BFG, please tell me to go right.
--
Baka^Ni
PS. I recommend you fire PA, he clearly hasn't tested or inspected this
card.
PPS. I found this whole exercise very therapeutic, if you insist on
causing your customers grief, I suggest you include a creating writing
kit with every purchase.
PPPS. I have very reasonable rates!