Bizarre comments from your missus.

Here's a good one.

It's Friday & she just rang me asking "Are you doing anything today?"

After the Lol's I told her "I'm on Holiday, I'm doing nowt till the racing ends Sunday" :p
 
2 from the same Girl, not my lady though, thank god!

"I wish i could understand what they are saying" - Sat in a dutch cafe, talking about the dutch waiters.... Said girl is fluent in Dutch (dutch parents)...

"Is it raining in here?" - when sat in the cinema and its raining on screen....
 
An ex of mine used to come out with some crackers;

sat in a traffic jam on a dual carriageway "how comes the traffic on the otherside is still moving"

The bedroom was at the very top of a building and had a pitched ceiling with a skylight, if you stood up you could see accross to a retail park, all the neon signs etc, whilst laying in bed looking up through the skylight "wow, it must be really foggy, I can't even see the signs on B&Q"

She also used to sleep talk a lot and have dreams that you could control/influence. There were some classic moments, and some that perhaps made me a little cruel.
 
this is a mind boggler

Misses = "im not in the mood tonight"

me = " ok thats cool "

Misses = "falls asleep on couch "

Me = "time to blow some Fully star out swear words. up pc" he he

next day

Me = "hey babe you ok"

misses = "no didn't get any from you last nite "
 
Her: "Your woman biscuits has been kicked out, I hated her anyway"
Me: "?"
Her: "You know who I mean, biscuits or whatever her name is!"
Me: "What are you watching?"
Her: "Dancing on Ice"
Me: "You mean Gemma Bissix?"
Her: "Yes ..... why do you have to make me look stupid all the time?"
Me (under breath): "like you need my help ..."
 
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