Bizarre comments from your missus.

When we were in ibiza i needed to take out money to see a doctor. she asked " ill you need to get it transferred to euros?" Yes because they keep every world currency in ATM's there like narnia.

Also why do you never drive in the left hand lane of a dual carridge way you are always in the middle. thats because thats the hard shoulder.

I managed to convince her the little dial on the radiator moved between 1-5 depending on the heat so it was constantly regulated.

She went and told her mum and dad. resulted in me epicly laughing
 
Burnsy2023 said:
My missus comes out with some of the strangest comments sometimes. Tonight she came out saying she has a tiny girl crush with Yulia Tymoshenko. My response was "Who?". Turns out she likes her hair and taste in clothes.

She was Prime Minister of Ukraine btw.
Click to expand...

Slight correction there :)

She is still tasty though (Yulia). I believe I am half her age as well.......:o
 
A friend of ours was asking us if Tom Jones accent was American. I mean aside from him not being able to sound any more Welsh if he tried, this was during his performance at The O2, with parts of it having a giant Welsh flag projected on the backdrop behind him!
 
My girlfriend's pretty gullible.. I was making some Jelly one day & ate one of the cubes (as you do) only to have her run over in a panic and shout "what are you doing! spit it out!"

Turns out her Mum told her that Jelly cubes are too strong & poisonous before being diluted to stop her eating them when she was a kid.. She's believed it for 20+ years.. haha
 
Current:

Her: What did Geoffrey Boycott used to do?
Me: He was a cricketer
Her: No, the politician guy, what did he do?
Me: Played cricket
Her: <mooches over to laptop, Googles Geoffrey Boycott, shows me a picture of him'
Her, No! Him! What was he?
Me: A cricketer
Her: Are you sure?
Me: ...

Ex:

Me: (as we drive over yellow rumble strips approaching a roundabout) Do you know what these yellow lines are for?
Her: No, what?
Me: They're for blind people so they know when they're approaching a major junction
Her: Oh...
(2 mins pass)
Her: Oi, hang on!
 
When refering to something we missed
Her: "I miss it like a whole in the head"
Me: "What? You've got that wrong, you dont want a whole in your head, that would be extremley painful and get in the way, that's where the saying comes from "
Her: "nur uh, because without wholes in your head you wouldnt be able to breath, so you'd miss them"
Me: "..."
 
Mine is an absolute doll...first time we spoke on the phone..she asked me what accent i had...told her to guess...she said American...i said nope its the country on top of America...so here i am thinking shes going to say Canada but nope she comes out with a corker..says is it Australia...i laughed and said nope..she then comes out with NZ...im like WTF lol...then she goes and outdoes her previous 2 replies by saying its Africa...dont think i have ever laughed as much as i did 6 mths ago...

In the end i told her Canada...she was pretty embarrassed about that and said yeh i knew that...i was only testing you...im like yeh sure hun sure lol

Oh dear never laughed so much in my life and this a woman who has a Masters degree...just goes to show that even the most educated people still are thick as ****:p:D...but i love her to bits and cant wait to marry the bint:p
 
Gilly said:
Me: (as we drive over yellow rumble strips approaching a roundabout) Do you know what these yellow lines are for?
Her: No, what?
Me: They're for blind people so they know when they're approaching a major junction
Her: Oh...
(2 mins pass)
Her: Oi, hang on!
Click to expand...



Ahh.. I may have to steal that one :D
 
Sat on the couch the other she pipes up and says

" if I was born in the victorian age I'd be dead"
er

"Yeah me too luv"


I think she was having half a conversation in her head like woman do about her having her appendix out
 
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J.B said:
When refering to something we missed
Her: "I miss it like a whole in the head"
Me: "What? You've got that wrong, you dont want a whole in your head, that would be extremley painful and get in the way, that's where the saying comes from "
Her: "nur uh, because without wholes in your head you wouldnt be able to breath, so you'd miss them"
Me: "..."
Click to expand...

'Hole'.
 
My missus say some odd stuff but the best stuff is when she is asleep. The first time I stayed round hers i was just about to go to sleep when she turn around looked into the the room and said "who are you", i looked at her confused and said I am your boyfriend, she the replied saying "no not you the other person" i turned around in shock but the room was empty, i turned back round to her and she was asleep again.

Another good one is she has a torch next to her bed. She grabed it, then proceeded to turn it on then off then on again, then led back down and said "it won't turn off, it won't turn off" i lent over and turned it off, "oh thank you".

She dosent remember any off it. She does it allot got used to it now!
 
An Ex commenting on my friend (24) and his girlfrend (17) "She is young enough his be his sister"

GF: "Tonight I fancy something niiiiice to eat"
ME: "What? not something ******* horrible?"

I have said that one to her that many times now that she realises how stupid it is to point out that you fancy something niiice and actually says it to women at work

There's other slighty stupid things. She will lead me to the cakes in a supermarket and say:

her "you choose one"
Me "any, I don't mind"
her "no, you choose"
me "OK, errm how about this one?"
her "hmmm"
me "OK, OK, what about this one then"
her "well.....actually I was thinking of this one over here"
 
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