conversation, how?

badcompany · 12 Jul 2012 at 18:29

coke, plenty of coke.

regulus · 12 Jul 2012 at 18:30

Luckily I've never had any issues talking to anyone, especially the ladies. The thing to remember is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. I come up with the lamest jokes but it's always delivered with a smile and a laugh and people usually laugh with. Once there's humour in the air, everyone should be relaxed and themselves. My job include meeting with new people pretty much every day and building instant rapport. Smile, laugh, what you say at first doesn't matter.

paradisiac · 12 Jul 2012 at 18:34

regulus said:
Luckily I've never had any issues talking to anyone, especially the ladies. The thing to remember is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. I come up with the lamest jokes but it's always delivered with a smile and a laugh and people usually laugh with. Once there's humour in the air, everyone should be relaxed and themselves. My job include meeting with new people pretty much every day and building instant rapport. Smile, laugh, what you say at first doesn't matter.

im more like this I guess, if you are confident when you speak, people will see it and no matter what you say will get the desired response. where I fall down in online chat, because I don't have the tone and timing to get this across, so its 100% reliant on using the correct wording.

Septym · 12 Jul 2012 at 18:38

badcompany said:
coke, plenty of coke.

I hope that's coca cola your on about.

radderfire · 12 Jul 2012 at 18:41

FoxEye said:
do you think hypnosis or some kind of shock therapy might help? there's got to be something I can do about this.

How much sleep do you get and is it enough? If you skimp on sleep, it can make you nervous and make it difficult to think of conversation. If necessary, change your routine to get regular sleep and more of it.

Make some notes for some ready to go questions that you can ask people or topics that you can talk about. This will mean you are better prepared for a conversation.

Rgds

davestar_delux · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:16

radderfire said:
How much sleep do you get and is it enough? If you skimp on sleep, it can make you nervous and make it difficult to think of conversation. If necessary, change your routine to get regular sleep and more of it.

Make some notes for some ready to go questions that you can ask people or topics that you can talk about. This will mean you are better prepared for a conversation.

Rgds

Yeah have some converation starters, a subject you would like to know other peoples opinions on, maybe a fact you learned that you found funny or interesting, so you can say "did you know..." and something topical, did you watch blah blah at the weekend? Some **** to relate to girls is good, watch TOWIE or something.

regulus · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:26

paradisiac said:
im more like this I guess, if you are confident when you speak, people will see it and no matter what you say will get the desired response. where I fall down in online chat, because I don't have the tone and timing to get this across, so its 100% reliant on using the correct wording.

You'll eventually learn that online is pretty much the same as real life. Reading what you've said the past few weeks about online dating you've seemed to decide you cannot do it and that's that. While you're not ugly, can spell, write in a clear manner, you still don't believe in yourself

the shadow · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:29

badcompany said:
coke, plenty of coke.

paradisiac · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:31

regulus said:
You'll eventually learn that online is pretty much the same as real life. Reading what you've said the past few weeks about online dating you've seemed to decide you cannot do it and that's that. While you're not ugly, can spell, write in a clear manner, you still don't believe in yourself

I cant seem to get my personality out in writing. what in my head sounds witty and clever, in reality if you read it as its written comes across as rude and arrogant. but if it had been in speech form, then it would probably at least get a smile, if not a laugh.
I like to think I can portray myself on here as more than just a dumbass, but having a conversation about something is easy, but getting a conversation started with someone that must get numerous amounts of messages, is a lot harder.

Curio · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:33

I love talking to girls. I was incredibly shy at school and would be absolutely useless at it. However (and quite ironically) once I got married I gained a huge amount of confidence and could now charm the pants off even the most outrageously hot girl. I think....of course I've never tried because I'm married

Don't really like talking to other guys though. I find it boring and don't really make much effort. Same in large groups - I just find most people dull and switch off.

Surfer · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:39

if you cant think of anything to say do this

1. comment on surroundings
2. comment on what they are wearing
3. repeat back to them what they are saying in a scary weird incredulous! voice.
4. just bring up something you want to talk about, something thats on your mind - its called Hijacking a convo.
5. start a rating system for every woman who walks by.

6. Just giggle to yourself...nonstop.

I think you are too self conscious who gives a **** what people are saying really? whenever you get an ebb in the conversation just shout out "who needs more beer!"

FoxEye · 12 Jul 2012 at 19:59

Curio said:
I love talking to girls. I was incredibly shy at school and would be absolutely useless at it. However (and quite ironically) once I got married I gained a huge amount of confidence and could now charm the pants off even the most outrageously hot girl. I think....of course I've never tried because I'm married

Don't really like talking to other guys though. I find it boring and don't really make much effort. Same in large groups - I just find most people dull and switch off.

how did you get married before you got confident with girls? :confused:

paradisiac · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:01

FoxEye said:
how did you get married before you got confident with girls?

she probably did the chasing

E: seriously though, I feel the only person judging you, is, well, you.

think of it this way. do you think you come out of the situation looking worse if :

A) they make conversation and you blank it

B) the make conversation and you reply with a short, sharpish answer

C) you reply with something, but it comes out a little bit wrong, but you made an effort

D) you stand their staring at them with a nervous grin

FoxEye · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:05

paradisiac said:
she probably did the chasing

he must be quite a good looking chap then

or maybe they're both really, really into lego or something

on that line of thought, what's the best hobby to take up specifically to meet girls? anything but dancing, that is... or dancing if I can get really, really drunk beforehand.

FoxEye · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:07

paradisiac said:
she probably did the chasing

E: seriously though, I feel the only person judging you, is, well, you.

think of it this way. do you think you come out of the situation looking worse if :

A) they make conversation and you blank it

B) the make conversation and you reply with a short, sharpish answer

C) you reply with something, but it comes out a little bit wrong, but you made an effort

D) you stand their staring at them with a nervous grin

that's a really good question.

a) worst
d) second worst -- creepy
b) second best
c) mostly the best result (mostly)

paradisiac · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:09

FoxEye said:
on that line of thought, what's the best hobby to take up specifically to meet girls? anything but dancing, that is... or dancing if I can get really, really drunk beforehand.

it depends what kind of girls you want to meet. what you need to do is think about what hobbies you would enjoy, that way any girls you meet will have a similar interest and you will 'click' better.
if you just want to pick up girls, then clubbing, sit in the corner looking all moody, girls like a challenge.

FoxEye said:
that's a really good question.

a) worst
d) second worst -- creepy
b) second best
c) mostly the best result (mostly)

this is correct, so why do you think that getting your words wrong is going to make you look any worse than not saying anything, or not even showing and interest? make an effort, they will see you are at least trying, and girls love a shy guy that tries. all this stuff about girls being into the 'bad boys' is a myth, or at least, any girl worth having would rather have a sensitive guy that tries, than an arrogant one that believes he is gods gift to women.

Curio · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:10

FoxEye said:
how did you get married before you got confident with girls?

On-line dating site + tons in common

Zefan · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:19

PRACTICE TIME.

Hey FoxEye, I'm enjoying posting this to you. It's almost like I've known you my whole life, actually that's a lie, but I'm just saying something for you to reply to so this practice works

Do you practice anything regularly? Learning anything at the moment like that?

FoxEye · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:30

Zefan said:
Do you practice anything regularly?

Nothing suitable for a family forum

Learning anything at the moment like that?

No I'm not learning anything at this point in time. I guess I should be. Should be developing myself in some way. Achieving something. Having a goal to work towards. Something I can feel good about.

But what, that's the question.

I've started loads of projects in the past, such as trying to learn German, or trying to program a simple isometric game, but I always quit after about a week.

paradisiac · 12 Jul 2012 at 20:33

FoxEye said:
But what, that's the question.

I've started loads of projects in the past, such as trying to learn German, or trying to program a simple isometric game, but I always quit after about a week.

what do you enjoy? what makes you happy? if you were to drop dead tonight, what would be the one thing you wish you had done?