Corrupt a wish

kalvindeane · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:00

Tefal said:
I wish games where simple again.

Granted, but they are still too complicated for you to understand

I wish I was Jeremy Clarkson.

Selekt0r · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:30

kalvindeane said:
I wish I was Jeremy Clarkson.

You are, but in an alternate reality where personal transportation of all kinds has been banned due to climate change. So you have to present 'Top public transport' which has the sole purpose of reviewing different buses and trains full of hot and smelly commuters.

I wish I could afford a new PC

Cybermyk · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:43

Selekt0r said:
I wish I could afford a new PC

You find you can but unfortunately, due to local council cutbacks, you get a PCSO instead and he gives you an ASBO for walking on the grass while your house is being burgled.

I wish I could fly

kalvindeane · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:49

Cybermyk said:
I wish I could fly

You magically gain the ability to fly, you excitedly fly home, only to hit your own window and bleed to death.

I wish I could eat as much as Goku.

Moobert · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:57

You can eat as much as Goku, but you choke to death on a Senzu Bean.

I wish to have an orange for a head!

chumpit · 1 Jun 2010 at 23:58

Moobert said:
You can eat as much as Goku, but you choke to death on a Senzu Bean.

I wish to have an orange for a head!

You wake up as a ginger

i wish to date a Asian girl

Moobert · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:00

Its not a "girl"

I wish to have one extra digit on each hand and foot

chumpit · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:05

Moobert said:
Its not a "girl"

I wish to have one extra digit on each hand and foot

The extra digit causes you to have a kernal error and prevent your "hard drive" from working properly.

I wish i was on a space ship

Greenlizard0 · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:15

chumpit said:
The extra digit causes you to have a kernal error and prevent your "hard drive" from working properly.

I wish i was on a space ship

Sure, but you're alone AND have no internet access.

I wish for a packet of crisps.

GreenMint · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:23

Greenlizard0 said:
Sure, but you're alone AND have no internet access.

I wish for a packet of crisps.

You have the biggest packet of crisps you could ever dream of, but they are a flavour you detest.

I wish my job was better paid.

jimmymctavish · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:27

You have a packet of crisps, but your fingers are all greasy and you can't open it, so you try using your teeth, but it catches you by surprise and the packet bursts open and the crisps go everywhere including down anna friel's top but you're too shy to go after them.

I wish this claw would hurry up and snip the pipe off so I can go to bed! http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?p=16668106

Cybermyk · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:52

mmmalas said:
I wish I am happy

You are Happy. Unfortunately the wicked witch has decided to make an example of you in front of the other dwarves and Snow White draws the line at amphibians

I'd like to be the first astronaut to land on Mars

chumpit · 2 Jun 2010 at 00:55

Cybermyk said:
You are Happy. Unfortunately the wicked witch has decided to make an example of you in front of the other dwarves and Snow White draws the line at amphibians

I'd like to be the first astronaut to land on Mars

You are the first astronaut to land on Mars, but face a 2 year return journey with 3 chavetes from the valleys.

I wish i had the Midas touch

Helium_Junkie · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:09

chumpit said:
You are the first astronaut to land on Mars, but face a 2 year return journey with 3 chavetes from the valleys.

I wish i had the Midas touch

Granted, but you forget and go to the loo, in the process turning your manhood into a lifeless, numb piece of metal. You will never feel anything with it again.

I wish I had an endless glass of wine.

chumpit · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:12

Helium_Junkie said:
Granted, but you forget and go to the loo, in the process turning your manhood into a lifeless, numb piece of metal. You will never feel anything with it again.

I wish I had an endless glass of wine.

The glass is endless but only filled with Lambrini

I wish i went back in time

Cybermyk · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:23

chumpit said:
I wish i went back in time

You did but only to 10 seconds ago. Unfortunately the rest of the world didn't go back in time just you so you're now floating in space, gasping for air with your veins about to burst hurtling towards the earth.

I wish could move heavy objects just by thinking about it.

chumpit · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:25

Cybermyk said:
You did but only to 10 seconds ago. Unfortunately the rest of the world didn't go back in time just you so you're now floating in space, gasping for air with your veins about to burst hurtling towards the earth.

I wish could move heavy objects just by thinking about it.

Because of your primordial instinct you are now followed by floating semi naked fat birds.

i wish i could prove whether god exists or not

Lightnix · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:34

chumpit said:
Because of your primordial instinct you are now followed by floating semi naked fat birds.

i wish i could prove whether god exists or not

Granted. You can but nobody listens.

I wish I could never forget.

Cybermyk · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:35

chumpit said:
i wish i could prove whether god exists or not

You find the arc to the covenant and can now totally prove that god exists and everyone agrees that he is indeed allmighty. Unfortunately creation fails to explain Pokemon as easily as natural selection so you are still left with the dilemma.

I wish I'd answered the post above this one and not the one before it

chumpit · 2 Jun 2010 at 01:36

Lightnix said:
Granted. You can but nobody listens.

I wish I could never forget.

Youre wish confuses me and i am forced to track you down and kick you in the nuts for your troubles.

I wish i knew all the languages of the world