Culinary Disasters

Soldato
Joined
14 Jun 2009
Posts
4,171
Location
North East
So, tonight I attempted to make some cookies, the instructions were 1.5 sticks of butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg, bit o salt 2 cups of flour

the end result? flat cakes, spongy in the middle, solid and brittle at the edges, dry all the way through.

so tell me, what simple edible attempts have you made, that ended in bitter disappointment?
 

mjt

mjt

Soldato
Joined
31 Aug 2007
Posts
19,575
sounds like your oven is crap

made bolognese (nothing special, but mine is awesome), and it just lacked flavour.
and then it occurred to me that i failed to add any seasoning whatsoever :(

also made hummus which tasted of wallpaper paste. i then saw the garlic press full of garlic on the counter :(
 
Soldato
Joined
2 Jun 2004
Posts
18,423
My biggest disaster was xmas lunch 2 years ago. Most of it was overcooked (especially the meat). Was really looking forward to it too - so dissapointed. :(
 
Associate
Joined
22 Feb 2009
Posts
512
Location
Bampton
So, tonight I attempted to make some cookies, the instructions were 1.5 sticks of butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg, bit o salt 2 cups of flour

the end result? flat cakes, spongy in the middle, solid and brittle at the edges, dry all the way through.

so tell me, what simple edible attempts have you made, that ended in bitter disappointment?

Try doing it with half the butter. And bear in mind that "sticks" of butter are an American measurement - a stick is a quarter pound of butter. Don't go using 1.5 British blocks of butter :p
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
14 Jun 2009
Posts
4,171
Location
North East
the end result of my attempt

P1030206.jpg


P1030207.jpg
 
Soldato
Joined
3 Oct 2005
Posts
6,237
Location
England
i was trying to make 2 minute microwave fudge and had to work out what a 1/4 cup of milk was in ml.

I had found on google but one cup into ml was but stupidly forgot to work out what a 1/4 would be so my fudge was all runny :(

still ate it though :D

mac2st3 - simple cookie recipe

125g/4oz butter or margarine
50g/2oz caster sugar
1 egg, beaten
150g/5oz self raising flour, sifted
175g/6oz plain chocolate, chopped (or i use choc chips)

beat butter/margarine and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg and beat thoroughly. Fold in the flour and chocolate. Place teaspoons of mixture onto a greased baking sheet and bake in preheated oven 180 celcius (350 fahrenheit, gas mark 4) for 15 to 20 minutes

voila!! :D
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
18 Jan 2007
Posts
19,792
Location
Land of the Scots
Oh wait, I remember my disaster, I was at my friends house and he was cooking pasta, he asked me to drain it but he didn't have a colander so I had to try and drain them with just the pan and lid, somehow I managed to slip and the whole lot ended up in the sink!
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
14 Jun 2009
Posts
4,171
Location
North East
I once managed to burn carrots that were boiling, pan ran out of water, and a load of carrots were left high and dry, leading to them pretty much burning, I was 13 at the time, and it was sunday dinner, oops
 
Soldato
Joined
2 Jun 2004
Posts
18,423
Oh wait, I remember my disaster, I was at my friends house and he was cooking pasta, he asked me to drain it but he didn't have a colander so I had to try and drain them with just the pan and lid, somehow I managed to slip and the whole lot ended up in the sink!

I bet you still ate it.
 
Soldato
Joined
19 May 2005
Posts
18,009
Location
Lancashire
@ Op, Microwave cooking is the future ;).

The worst thing Ive ever made cooking wise was back in school. I forgot all about my final lesson in Food tech (cooking class). The assignment was to make a starter and pudding, but as it was the last lesson before we chose what we wanted to do for our GCSEs we were told to make it something special.

The punishment for not bringing in anything to cook was an hours detention and having to sit the class out and copy text from a textbook :(. So i had a look in my cupboard and all there was that fit the assignment was a pack of cup-a-soup and a tin of fruit cocktail :D. needles to say the teacher was very disappointed in me.
 
Permabanned
Joined
3 Jul 2008
Posts
3,772
Location
My fabulous ship
I made cheese cake the other week - you guys would be so jealous if you could smell it cos it was THE BEST CHEESECAKE TO END ALL CHEESECAKES!:

photo.php
6174_120489984636_514654636_2170943_1850460_n.jpg
6174_120489969636_514654636_2170942_4078181_n.jpg


If you guys want the ingrediants and instructions I can type one up for you if you like :)
 

CBJ

CBJ

Associate
Joined
1 Aug 2007
Posts
344
Someone I worked with once stuck a loaf of part-baked bread in the mini-oven in the office and set the timer for the designated 20 minutes. What he didn't realise was that he'd also accidentally set the oven to the oven+microwave combination setting. When he came to take it out it looked slightly darker than he expected but otherwise fine. He only twigged that he'd done something wrong when he cut into it and found that everything inside the crust was jet black.

Oh yes, and then there was a friend of mine who prepared a meal to try and impress a girl. The recipe said to use something like 3 cloves of garlic. Not being a terribly experienced cook he didn't know that a clove of garlic was one one of those little things shaped a bit like an orange segment, so he used 3 bulbs of garlic. Needless to say neither he nor the girl was able to able to eat much of the resulting dish.
 
Underboss
Joined
9 Nov 2005
Posts
10,837
Location
manchester,uk
I made cheese cake the other week - you guys would be so jealous if you could smell it cos it was THE BEST CHEESECAKE TO END ALL CHEESECAKES!:

photo.php
6174_120489984636_514654636_2170943_1850460_n.jpg
6174_120489969636_514654636_2170942_4078181_n.jpg


If you guys want the ingrediants and instructions I can type one up for you if you like :)


That looks very nice m8 :)
 
Top Bottom