Culinary Disasters

[mac1st3]

So, tonight I attempted to make some cookies, the instructions were 1.5 sticks of butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg, bit o salt 2 cups of flour

the end result? flat cakes, spongy in the middle, solid and brittle at the edges, dry all the way through.

so tell me, what simple edible attempts have you made, that ended in bitter disappointment?

 

[mjt]

sounds like your oven is crap

made bolognese (nothing special, but mine is awesome), and it just lacked flavour.
and then it occurred to me that i failed to add any seasoning whatsoever

also made hummus which tasted of wallpaper paste. i then saw the garlic press full of garlic on the counter

 

[Van Hellseek]

My biggest disaster was xmas lunch 2 years ago. Most of it was overcooked (especially the meat). Was really looking forward to it too - so dissapointed.

 

[cactuscake]

So, tonight I attempted to make some cookies, the instructions were 1.5 sticks of butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg, bit o salt 2 cups of flour

the end result? flat cakes, spongy in the middle, solid and brittle at the edges, dry all the way through.

so tell me, what simple edible attempts have you made, that ended in bitter disappointment?

Try doing it with half the butter. And bear in mind that "sticks" of butter are an American measurement - a stick is a quarter pound of butter. Don't go using 1.5 British blocks of butter

 

[mac1st3]

Try doing it with half the butter. And bear in mind that "sticks" of butter are an American measurement - a stick is a quarter pound of butter. Don't go using 1.5 British blocks of butter

...


god ****ing damn it!!!!.......

 

[Psymonkee]

I tried to make an omlette once:

Cracked eggs, turned the heat on, beat eggs, added to frying pan.

Forgot the butter though :/

 

[V4NT0M]

My sister tried to defrost some buns and ended up burning them and killing the microwave.

 

[MeatLoaf]

How about this one that only happened today.

My wife decided to microwave a frozen pizza. On a PLASTIC plate

 

[Van Hellseek]

/\ We have a winner.

 

[mac1st3]

the end result of my attempt

 

[secretspy]

i was trying to make 2 minute microwave fudge and had to work out what a 1/4 cup of milk was in ml.

I had found on google but one cup into ml was but stupidly forgot to work out what a 1/4 would be so my fudge was all runny

still ate it though

mac2st3 - simple cookie recipe

125g/4oz butter or margarine
50g/2oz caster sugar
1 egg, beaten
150g/5oz self raising flour, sifted
175g/6oz plain chocolate, chopped (or i use choc chips)

beat butter/margarine and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg and beat thoroughly. Fold in the flour and chocolate. Place teaspoons of mixture onto a greased baking sheet and bake in preheated oven 180 celcius (350 fahrenheit, gas mark 4) for 15 to 20 minutes

voila!!

 

[lemonkettaz]

I've tried and failed 3 times making Muffins...

I just don't know how to do it.

I'm not convinced on the baking soda bit.

 

[V4NT0M]

Oh wait, I remember my disaster, I was at my friends house and he was cooking pasta, he asked me to drain it but he didn't have a colander so I had to try and drain them with just the pan and lid, somehow I managed to slip and the whole lot ended up in the sink!

 

[mac1st3]

I once managed to burn carrots that were boiling, pan ran out of water, and a load of carrots were left high and dry, leading to them pretty much burning, I was 13 at the time, and it was sunday dinner, oops

 

[Van Hellseek]

Oh wait, I remember my disaster, I was at my friends house and he was cooking pasta, he asked me to drain it but he didn't have a colander so I had to try and drain them with just the pan and lid, somehow I managed to slip and the whole lot ended up in the sink!

I bet you still ate it.

 

[Mark A]

@ Op, Microwave cooking is the future .

The worst thing Ive ever made cooking wise was back in school. I forgot all about my final lesson in Food tech (cooking class). The assignment was to make a starter and pudding, but as it was the last lesson before we chose what we wanted to do for our GCSEs we were told to make it something special.

The punishment for not bringing in anything to cook was an hours detention and having to sit the class out and copy text from a textbook . So i had a look in my cupboard and all there was that fit the assignment was a pack of cup-a-soup and a tin of fruit cocktail . needles to say the teacher was very disappointed in me.

 

[CaptainComedy]

I made cheese cake the other week - you guys would be so jealous if you could smell it cos it was THE BEST CHEESECAKE TO END ALL CHEESECAKES!:

If you guys want the ingrediants and instructions I can type one up for you if you like

 

[CBJ]

Someone I worked with once stuck a loaf of part-baked bread in the mini-oven in the office and set the timer for the designated 20 minutes. What he didn't realise was that he'd also accidentally set the oven to the oven+microwave combination setting. When he came to take it out it looked slightly darker than he expected but otherwise fine. He only twigged that he'd done something wrong when he cut into it and found that everything inside the crust was jet black.

Oh yes, and then there was a friend of mine who prepared a meal to try and impress a girl. The recipe said to use something like 3 cloves of garlic. Not being a terribly experienced cook he didn't know that a clove of garlic was one one of those little things shaped a bit like an orange segment, so he used 3 bulbs of garlic. Needless to say neither he nor the girl was able to able to eat much of the resulting dish.

 

[lee32uk]

My sister once put frozen Hollands Steak puddings in the oven.Lovely and hot on the outside, and ice cold on the inside

 

[lee32uk]

I made cheese cake the other week - you guys would be so jealous if you could smell it cos it was THE BEST CHEESECAKE TO END ALL CHEESECAKES!:

If you guys want the ingrediants and instructions I can type one up for you if you like

That looks very nice m8