Culinary Disasters

[Rich_L]

No real shockers, worst one I can think of is when I was preparing a roast dinner and of course timing is key, unfortunately I was in America where they are retarded and don't have electric kettles, so next thing I know I'm having to boil water on the hob which put everything out and while waiting for some veg, although the meat was perfect (took it out and wrapped it in foil), some of the roasted veg got burnt (they are the best too).

Think that's about it

 

[Le_Petit_Lapin]

Christmas Dinner, got everything else done all right, however at the last minute, I realised that while I might have put the turkey in the oven, I had forgotten to turn it on.

 

[HamZilla]

made hummus which tasted of wallpaper paste. i then saw the garlic press full of garlic on the counter

I tried making Houmous/Hummus and all I could taste was garlic and raw chick peas.

 

[mjt]

I tried making Houmous/Hummus and all I could taste was garlic and raw chick peas.

did you buy them tinned or dry? because if they're not tinned, you have to soak them for ages and then boil them. pita

stick tinned ones in a blender, add oil, garlic, lemon juice, seasoning and herbs.
tastes better the next day.

 

[y2viks]

I was making a roast and I put the lard in a baking tray to melt, ready for the potatoes. I over boiled the potatoes so they were like mush, i then sculpted them into a roast potato shape. By this time the lard had almost evaporated, took a layer off the baking tray, bent it and started smoking. I put the 'roasts' in and they ended up being baked mash.

 

[valve90210]

i was trying to make 2 minute microwave fudge. ...

made the 5 minute chocolate cake...

Woah there you two, what are these super quick delightful sounding recipes of which you speak???

They both sound like brilliant things!!!

 

[ac1d1ty]

yes but I win at cooking - and thats what the ladies care about. I'll make one tomorrow and take pics of each stage - it only takes 45 minutes to make and feeds 10 people

any chance of a recipe for that mate? I have some people coming over tonight and this would certainly be a surprise (Its usually a pizza/beer masterpiece from me xD).

Is it hard to do? I will be "catering" for around 8 people.

 

[RossG]

I messed up a pot noodle once by forgetting to boil the kettle

 

[mac1st3]

I messed up a pot noodle once by forgetting to boil the kettle

win!

 

[secretspy]

Woah there you two, what are these super quick delightful sounding recipes of which you speak???

They both sound like brilliant things!!!

the recipe for the fudge is in the 5 min chocolate cake thread.

Enjoy

 

[Zip]

I made Peppered steak once.

Talk about ring of fire. Burnt on the way in just as much as the way out

 

[DominicStar]

You might need to do it on a different shelf to the instructions. My oven manual tells me which shelf to put which foods on because of the air circulation and most of the time the manual is correct.

 

[MikeHunt79]

microwaving a frozen pizza beats anything I've ever done!

 

[mac1st3]

You might need to do it on a different shelf to the instructions. My oven manual tells me which shelf to put which foods on because of the air circulation and most of the time the manual is correct.

fan oven, and i've always been told for baking, you get the oven pretty damn hot, and put them on the top shelf, but with fan ovens, it doesn't matter as it's circulated

 

[x_Exclusive_x]

My dad made Spag Bol for my mum on their first date. He decided on using a tin of heinz big soup instead of making a Bolognese sauce. As far as i know, it wasn't eaten!

 

[jcb33]

Done a few, but mostly when I was young, decided it would be nice to make tea for my family so got up early, put a pan of water on the hob, and added a teabag and milk.... It was a little strong to say the least!

Also when very young decided to make a toast and tomato sandwich thing, but having not realised you made the toast first I just plopped the cut up tomatoes onto bread and put them under the grill.... No idea how but all of a sudden the tomato went up in flames....

Also wanted to cook some rice, decided the microwave would be the best bet, but being young I did not read the packet, put the contents into a bowl, turned it on for a few mins.... smelt very nasty without the water you are suppose to add being in it!

In my early teens I read teaspoon as tablespoon, lets just say the puff pasty looked nice, but when you add that much salt its not so good!

Jcb33.

 

[valve90210]

the recipe for the fudge is in the 5 min chocolate cake thread.

Enjoy

Will have to look this thread up, it sounds amazing!!!

 

[Manlove is my forte]

I always need 2 tries to make custard. First attempt is always lumpy... Never understood why I cant make it first time, but can second time. But suffice to say when I make custard I make sure there is enough milk for 2 batches.

 

[The Dread Pirate]

I made cheese cake the other week - you guys would be so jealous if you could smell it cos it was THE BEST CHEESECAKE TO END ALL CHEESECAKES!:

If you guys want the ingrediants and instructions I can type one up for you if you like

1. Cook More.

2. Send to me.

3. ???????

4. Profit!

 

[tisonlyme]

Luckily I haven't had any major disasters in my time, surprising considering I class myself as not very good at cooking. The most common mistake I make is adding too much oil to a pan, making the food taste oily as a result.

My mum once bought one of those 'rise in the oven' pizzas years ago. She decided not to use a baking tray and put it straight on the shelf. 20 minutes later she opens the oven to find the pizza has drooped through the bars of the shelf and pretty much glued itself to every available surface. Took her hours to clean the oven and she still gets ribbed about it to this day