Does anyone else have no friends?

[regulus]

That's the thing people are too invested in social media and spend so much time creating the perfect image they don't do life.

I remember being at a lake about 30mins or so from where I live with wife and kids. We were playing away on the little jetty bit kids were making stuff up as they always do there was a couple about 20 or so foot away on a bench they were both just sat on the phone hardly exchanging a word just tapping on phones. After a while (could have been anywhere up to an hour) they stood up took a load of photos of each other and selfies then walked off back to the car park head in their phone again. They probably (assumption bomb incoming ) telling Facebook or whatever about the perfect time out with photographic "proof" the whole time rather than actually having a good time. I find it baffling.

I once went to this gypsy fair and there was a live band playing. Pretty decent too as far as these things go. I must've been there quite early as the stalls were just opening and the band must've just come on. Anyway, they had a crowd of about 3 people watching the show. All 3 were on there phones recording the show (presumably) and all 3 of them were looking away from the stage the whole time at other things.

A live show through a mobile phone. No doubt that video or photos or whatever idiotic thing they all planned on doing with the footage would've ended up on some attention whoring social media account with a hashtag title #lolgreatshowtodayLOL.

Dimwitted zombies living for others

 

[Hedge]

It's normal to have fewer close friends as you get older, and it's not unusual to become a bit of a recluse, but to think it's a good thing is a bit weird to me.

My Dad is a right loner, he's great at telling stories and conversation. He's always entertaining when I introduce friends etc to him. Yet in his day to day life he has no friends and just likes his own company.

I do like time to myself but I always like to catch up with friends. Maybe the fact I don't use social media at all means I appreciate the time more.

 

[malachi]

Yep. Social media shows you all the highlights.
Same way someone will tell you they won 100 on a scratch card but spent 200 getting it

I'm avoiding kids. Almost every thread that involves kids is negative in here.
Why do so many people have them? I know it's often womens choice. Baffles me

There, you just answered your own question.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

My Dad is a right loner, he's great at telling stories and conversation. He's always entertaining when I introduce friends etc to him. Yet in his day to day life he has no friends and just likes his own company.

Am I your Dad

That's the thing people are too invested in social media and spend so much time creating the perfect image they don't do life.

I've posted about this before but let's look at the future generation and how it is going to get much worse.
At least over the last 5 years when I've been abroad on holiday the main foyer has been packed with kids all with their heads in their phones conversing with their friends in their own Country.
Instead of playing around the pool/beach/whatever many of them choose to just sit there all day phone in hand and it really winds me up

This texting culture has got on my nerves for years eg yesterday to the eldest -
When is your Sister coming?
I'm waiting for a text
I need to know now
She's going to text me
Ring her I need to know
She's going to text me
(I ring her from my phone)
I'm leaving in 2 minutes
Thanks

 

[AndyCr15]

This texting culture has got on my nerves for years eg yesterday to the eldest -
When is your Sister coming?

Oh. Maybe you can answer then why my mum always seems to ask my brother (text or phone) about what I'm doing, and vice versa. Why didn't you just text your daughter first?

Phone calls are quite rude really. It's like Stephen Fry said on QI, it's a bit like running into someone's room, banging on their desk shouting 'talk to me now, talk to me now'.

Instead of playing around the pool/beach/whatever many of them choose to just sit there all day phone in hand and it really winds me up

I would expect, given the choice, they would have stayed at home with their mates... You really think a teenager's idea of fun is the beach with their parents?

 

[malachi]

Phone calls are quite rude really. It's like Stephen Fry said on QI, it's a bit like running into someone's room, banging on their desk shouting 'talk to me now, talk to me now'

What!?!?! Phoning someone now is known as rude Wasn't a problem when people wanted to talk over long distance years ago.

 

[Ayahuasca]

Phone calls are quite rude really. It's like Stephen Fry said on QI, it's a bit like running into someone's room, banging on their desk shouting 'talk to me now, talk to me now'.

ayyylmao, welcome to generation *********

 

[AndyCr15]

ayyylmao, welcome to generation *********

I had to actually look this up.

Generation ********* is a term that refers to young people, typically university or college students, who seek to avoid emotionally charged topics or dissenting ideas and opinions.

I'm not quite sure how that fits tbh. I'm 41 and I don't see how emotionally charged topics fit with the point I made... Stephen Fry is even older and it was kinda his point.

 

[V F]

ayyylmao, welcome to generation *********

LoL!

 

[Richdog]

Phone calls are quite rude really. It's like Stephen Fry said on QI, it's a bit like running into someone's room, banging on their desk shouting 'talk to me now, talk to me now'.

Phone calls are rude? That is ridiculous, and not even logical.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Oh. Maybe you can answer then why my mum always seems to ask my brother (text or phone) about what I'm doing, and vice versa. Why didn't you just text your daughter first?

Because you have zero idea of the context and reason the question was asked.
Also you posted like a teenager "Why didn't you text your daughter first?" - I would ring her.

I would expect, given the choice, they would have stayed at home with their mates... You really think a teenager's idea of fun is the beach with their parents?

No, they do what I did and what my kids did.
You get to your holiday destination, you find out where all the kids who actually do something hang around and then tell your kids to go and hang out with them.
Two weeks later they are crying their eyes out because they are now going to miss their new friends.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I'm not quite sure how that fits tbh. I'm 41 and I don't see how emotionally charged topics fit with the point I made... Stephen Fry is even older and it was kinda his point.

Yeah and that's the problem, they'll listen to guys like him. If a phone call is seen as rude I don't know where we've went wrong.

Is phone anxiety actually an issue now as I've heard people saying they don't like answering or making phone calls.

 

[AndyCr15]

Because you have zero idea of the context and reason the question was asked.
Also you posted like a teenager "Why didn't you text your daughter first?" - I would ring her.

Yeah, context is of course a fair point. It just made me chuckle a little as thats often what my mum does and me and my brother don't understand why.

Surely texting or phoning is personal preference. I prefer to text where possible as I do believe it's more polite, from a logical stand point. Surely you don't walk up to someone and just start talking to them even though they're in a conversation with someone else? That would be rude, no? That could be what you're doing if you ring someone. If it's not urgent, I send a text and they get back to me when they have a moment.

My bank tried to call me now to ask how everything is, did I know I can get X and Y etc and then and yes, I find that very annoying. I'd much prefer an e-mail that I can deal with in my own time.

Granted, urgent or emergency then a call is better. But even then, sometimes people can't answer and you get nothing (driving, in a cinema etc) so after one unanswered call, I would text.

Anyway, we're probably straying off topic too far.

 

[Nitefly]

Are they though? Most people who I know who are in relationships are unhappy

I meant "the main thing is to be happy, it doesn't really matter if you have lots of friends or not"

 

[Richdog]

I prefer to text where possible as I do believe it's more polite, from a logical stand point. Surely you don't walk up to someone and just start talking to them even though they're in a conversation with someone else? That would be rude, no? That could be what you're doing if you ring someone. If it's not urgent, I send a text and they get back to me when they have a moment.

My bank tried to call me now to ask how everything is, did I know I can get X and Y etc and then and yes, I find that very annoying. I'd much prefer an e-mail that I can deal with in my own time.

Granted, urgent or emergency then a call is better. But even then, sometimes people can't answer and you get nothing (driving, in a cinema etc) so after one unanswered call, I would text.

Anyway, we're probably straying off topic too far.

Are you genuinely comparing your bank calling you for marketing purposes, with calling your close friends or family? That is seriously one of the most bizarre things I have ever heard..

I call people because I want to chat to them and add a personal element to what I am saying, not just reel off line after line on whatsapp. They are two completely different mediums of communication, and it is completely natural to prefer hearing someone speak with the full range of emotions that entails, than to simply read messages. Not to mention there is far more chance of things being misread or misunderstood when writing.

I find it completely weird that I am even explaining this.

 

[No1newts]

No, they do what I did and what my kids did.
You get to your holiday destination, you find out where all the kids who actually do something hang around and then tell your kids to go and hang out with them.
Two weeks later they are crying their eyes out because they are now going to miss their new friends.

I remember this

Changing generations but I find the whole thing baffling (I'm only early thirties) and it's even infecting older generations where people want to tweet etc about things than doing them. Stay sheltered in a bubble than get out there and meet people. I would say people think they are better connected than ever but arguably more lonely than ever in reality.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Are you genuinely comparing your bank calling you for marketing purposes, with calling your close friends or family? That is seriously one of the most bizarre things I have ever heard..

I call people because I want to chat to them and add a personal element to what I am saying, not just reel off line after line on whatsapp. They are two completely different mediums of communication, and it is completely natural to prefer hearing someone speak with the full range of emotions that entails, than to simply read messages. Not to mention there is far more chance of things being misread or misunderstood when writing.

I find it completely weird that I am even explaining this.

I was thinking exactly the same but perhaps there are many years between us.
You are one of the older ones here so remember a time we had those things in the house on the wall where we rang people and heard real voices but younger people text.
What is amazing that 1 hour of texting could be a 2 minute chat.
Many times I've seen both my daughters continuosly texting somebody back & forth, quite a while later get up in a mood, I ask what's up and then suggest 'Just bloody ring them and use a real voice'.

 

[AndyCr15]

Are you genuinely comparing your bank calling you for marketing purposes, with calling your close friends or family?

No, not really. I'm talking about phone calls in general. Obviously I'm happy to talk to my mum/brother on the phone, but even then, there are times that aren't convenient if they're just ringing to say 'hey, how are you?'

Like you, I find it odd that others can't see this myself...

 

[Xordium]

Yeah and that's the problem, they'll listen to guys like him. If a phone call is seen as rude I don't know where we've went wrong.

Is phone anxiety actually an issue now as I've heard people saying they don't like answering or making phone calls.

Phone anxiety has always been a thing.

I never liked making phonecalls as a kid but then when you put your finger in the dial and if you didn't move it around all the way and missed by just a little bit it would mess it up and you'd have to start again and that was a lot of hassle.

(I wonder how many more people here remember this annoyance bar Dimple of course cause he's an old git too and Faustus who was probably around before someone invented food and oxygen from the way he talks sometimes)

 

[Richdog]

No, not really. I'm talking about phone calls in general. Obviously I'm happy to talk to my mum/brother on the phone, but even then, there are times that aren't convenient if they're just ringing to say 'hey, how are you?'

Like you, I find it odd that others can't see this myself...

This may sound crazy, but if a time is not convenient to receive a call then simply don't pick up the phone and call them back later. Most people do so without giving it a second thought.

You seem to have 'psychological quirks' when it comes to phone calls.