Does anyone else have no friends?

[Tefal]

If you do not understand the difference between a live and interactive conversation, and a series of recorded messages, then we are plumbing new depths of social incabability here.

I understand tge difference but outside of "omg emergancy i need you now" moments which are incredibly rare it is a perfectly adequate replacement.

Your need/desire for instant responses does not make others socially incapable for not needing such attention

 

[SexyGreyFox]

 

[Richdog]

I understand tge difference but outside of "omg emergancy i need you now" moments which are incredibly rare it is a perfectly adequate replacement.

Your need/desire for instant responses does not make others socially incapable for not needing such attention

It's not a need or desire for instant responses, it's just the acceptance that phone calls are a perfectly valid form of communication for normally functioning adults.

 

[RxR]

Re the topic question:

Yes, and I'm fine with that and have been for 40 years. It has enabled me to pursue my greatest passion to a very satisfying degree and I have no intention of changing it.

e: I am aware others have different constitutional needs and capacity to cope with socially induced oxytocin. In my own case, it is quite a biological hazard that drops my bradychardial heartbeat too perilously close to my resting heartrate of just 2bpm above inadequate oxygenation to sustain life.

 

[Jean-F]

Ringing someone is rude? Strange.

Banging on your door is rude, phone calls aren't. Just don't answer.

I had a new housemate whose policy is to never answer the front door, unless it was arranged and he knew who was calling round. We've all adopted this policy in the house. His reasoning was if it isn't arranged and you aren't expecting them it can only be for something irrelevant, annoying or unwanted.

My intercom buzzer went at 09.20 today, it was my next door neighbour’s daughter, her 5 y.o. had woken up with a temperature, and a rash across her chest.
The mother called and got an emergency appointment with her G.P., and armed with spare keys, walked around to pick up her dad’s car to take the kid to the doctor.
On arrival, her dad’s car had a flat tyre, so she turned to me for help, naturally I galloped down to my wife's car, took the two of them, waited, took them to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled, then took them home.
It was rather fortunate that her dad didn’t live next door to you.

 

[malachi]

I can relate to this thread myself, I’m 22 I have no friends and I think it is actually more harder to meet people when your younger because of social media smart phones etc. And people start having kids younger and younger these days the only way I can see myself meeting people are the following

1.cold approaching-I have done this many times and people think it’s creepy strange and most people don’t like to speak to strangers

2.bars/pubs sadly everyone here is already in groups they go with and not open to speak to strangers

3.meetup group no one my age does this


I feel hopeless best wishes!

Where on earth do you live?

 

[NVP]

In my own case, it is quite a biological hazard that drops my bradychardial heartbeat too perilously close to my resting heartrate of just 2bpm above inadequate oxygenation to sustain life.

For reals?

 

[RxR]

For reals?

Yes. And I work quite happily awake alert n well at a bpm where most people's heartbeats are higher under deep general anaesthesia. Thus I am only too aware of the severe negative effect of moderate increases of oxytocin on my system.

 

[NVP]

Yes. And I work quite happily awake alert n well at a bpm where most people's heartbeats are higher under deep general anaesthesia. Thus I am only too aware of the severe negative effect of moderate increases of oxytocin on my system.

Damn man, how do you cope when it's time for rumpy pumpy?

 

[RxR]

Damn man, how do you cope when it's time for rumpy pumpy?

How sensitive is your skin under anaesthesia? Mine is constantly about 60-70% of that. Obviously, no cuddles or hugs (oxytocin releasers). It's akin to living in a biochemical narrow-range trap. But, I've learned to live with it.

 

[Cleisthenes]

I can relate to this thread myself, I’m 22 I have no friends and I think it is actually more harder to meet people when your younger because of social media smart phones etc. And people start having kids younger and younger these days the only way I can see myself meeting people are the following

1.cold approaching-I have done this many times and people think it’s creepy strange and most people don’t like to speak to strangers

2.bars/pubs sadly everyone here is already in groups they go with and not open to speak to strangers

3.meetup group no one my age does this


I feel hopeless best wishes!

The one thing that comes to mind is joining a club of some sort. Could be a sport you like or want to get in to, or something like a film club or even something like chess.

I think mainly the sports will have younger people, but if I were in your position then I'd be looking at a squash club or badminton or something. You might not like it but it's worth a shot.

Whilst I have friends a lot of them aren't local. Fortunately my girlfriend is so I see her regularly. If it wasn't for her I think I would have joined a club by now.

 

[NVP]

How sensitive is your skin under anaesthesia? Mine is constantly about 60-70% of that. Obviously, no cuddles or hugs (oxytocin releasers). It's akin to living in a biochemical narrow-range trap. But, I've learned to live with it.

Sorry you have to deal with that man, what's the condition? Are they still researching or have they attempted any med trials etc.

 

[RxR]

Sorry you have to deal with that man, what's the condition? Are they still researching or have they attempted any med trials etc.

It (the biochem) comes with my particular cluster of autism traits - there are many variants. However, I know enough from existing published med research that my days are pretty much numbered as soon as my testosterone levels (which oppose oxytocin - an endorphin) drop with age. The so-called kindly/ sentimental stage of a mans life when oxytocin 'wins'. Basically, if I make it to 60 (5 years off) I've done well.

I have been advised that without an artificial testosterone (oxytocin suppressor) booster at that point I am more than likely to die in my sleep (from lack of oxygen).

e: more to the thread point - close, 'warm' relationships - which I hear some people find in friendship are simply beyond my physical grasp.

 

[No1newts]

How do people end up with no friends?

Not being sarcastic or mean spirited but you go up with people through school etc, do you not remain friends with those people? What about those you meet in further education or if you into work? Surely through this you must have some friends?

If you genuinely believe you have no friends as others have suggested find your interest, whatever it may be, and find a club that shares in that and go for it there will be people there.

 

[DXP55]

the cat likes me , the mrs still talks to me....so all is good

+1

This says it all.

Damn this thread is 3 yrs old

 

[RxR]

"To fly from, need not be to hate, mankind"

Stanza 69, Canto III (1816)
Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
Lord Byron

https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Childe_Harold's_Pilgrimage

And Disraeli, Benjamin - former British PM:

"We do what we have to do, for whom positions are not provided."

 

[foster grant]

+1

This says it all.

Damn this thread is 3 yrs old

its ok she dont talk to me so much these days

 

[RampantMark]

hmmm, me and my wife have a lot of friends. I'm 30 and 3/4 days of the week we go out to other peoples houses.

we have quite a lot of hobbies as a group, we like board games/warhammer/magic/movies.

there's always something going on. (even going to a fancy dress party tonight)

outside of my close friends I'm a member of a few clubs which I also socialise with, car clubs, warhammer clubs and a games café I go to once a week on a sunday afternoon.


I'm quite social and seem to make friends easily which is odd because when I was younger I was so shy and socially awkward.

Tell me more about this *magic of which you speak.

 

[Nasher]

How do people end up with no friends?

Not being sarcastic or mean spirited but you go up with people through school etc, do you not remain friends with those people? What about those you meet in further education or if you into work? Surely through this you must have some friends?

If you genuinely believe you have no friends as others have suggested find your interest, whatever it may be, and find a club that shares in that and go for it there will be people there.

Some people just dont like people

 

[Eurofighter]

Just find a nice local boozer. Go in a few times and make some friends.