Family dispute incoming

[platinum87]

Your mother should spend as much money as possible to enjoy her life as much as possible.

If this means you get zero inheritance, then so be it.

 

[dlockers]

Your mother should spend as much money as possible to enjoy her life as much as possible.

If this means you get zero inheritance, then so be it.

RTFT or gtfo

 

[SpellowHouse]

Your mother should spend as much money as possible to enjoy her life as much as possible.

If this means you get zero inheritance, then so be it.

Absolutely agree.

Once inheritance raises it's ugly head, the family will never be the same.

The only recommendation I would make to everyone is TALK TO A SOLICITOR! Because so many people screw it up because they think they know what's what and it usually turns out that they don't.

Both my father and my two brothers completely messed up their Wills. Not only did it cause a total mess financially, but it fractured the remainder of the family. Wounds that have not healed to this day.

If I is too late to change something, then it is time to practice the art of "letting go". Family is more important than money.

 

[potatolord]

Well, I just checked in on my mum by phone, she's OK, but a bit sad.

Could be worse.

 

[adam cool dude]

Continued...

Mum was gutted.

She said she'll give me £££££. I said she can't give me her savings, and I won't accept it anyway.

She said she'll have to sell her house, and give me money. Again, I said no as that's just foolish talk.

The will is 50/50, and now my mum has realised that my sister has already benefited. She's not happy and now wants to change her will. I told her to think carefully about that, before doing anything.

It then came up that my sister has a high value item of mum's (>£10k) with all receipts and documentation associated, in her house. She said she wanted to buy it, but no money has changed hands. She's had it for at least six months. My mum has asked her to return it, but she hasn't.

After all that I am fuming. I'm not sure whether this is coercion or whatever but something stinks.

I felt better for having got it out in the open, and my mum said the same, but I feel bad for giving my mum the knowledge.

I told my mum it's up to her if she wants to talk with my sister about it, but I have had enough of her (sister) and see no good coming from talking to her.

Christ knows where this is going to end up.

Just got home, so will ring my mum later to check up on her, after this horrible shock. She seemed OK when I left, but y'know...

Very similar thing happened with my first cousin when my grandfather died. His will was split 3 ways between my mother, uncle and her.

She had him give all his savings to her before he died. He was very unstable during that period due to drugs etc. My mother was the one that went over and looked after him in his finals days. She didn't. It wasn't until the end that they realised what she had done. She even had the cheek to take a third of the house when it sold too.

 

[Murphy]

What are you talking about? Its pretty unlikely she concocted those events.

I hope you put those mind reading skills to good use.

 

[Thekwango]

Well, I just checked in on my mum by phone, she's OK, but a bit sad.

Could be worse.

I reckon your mum had a fair idea she was being hoodwinked, at least to a certain degree, but didn’t want to say anything for fear of causing a family feud. Hence her offering you money.
I get the feeling she’s tried to do what she thought was best to keep everyone happy without causing a ruckus.
This is all, imo, 100% on your sister being a bad un.

 

[Thekwango]

I hope you put those mind reading skills to good use.

To be fair, it’s quite the list of excuses to have pre planned ready for the conversation. My money would be on the mum being honest about what happened.

 

[Allnamestaken]

Where are all the high horse plebs who were telling Potato to kick rocks its none of his business?

Funny that.

 

[Murphy]

To be fair, it’s quite the list of excuses to have pre planned ready for the conversation. My money would be on the mum being honest about what happened.

Who said anything about preplanned, to me they all seem like on the spot answers. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks it's rather convenient that there's nothing to substantiate even one of the given answers, that all the answers lead back to PL's sister.

 

[Mysterae_]

It then came up that my sister has a high value item of mum's (>£10k) with all receipts and documentation associated, in her house. She said she wanted to buy it, but no money has changed hands. She's had it for at least six months. My mum has asked her to return it, but she hasn't.

You don't mention what this high value item is but sounds like jewellery and quite likely but unfortunately pawnable.

I saw the division between my mum and her brother when my gran died, they didn't speak for years afterwards.

Good luck getting things sorted.

 

[413x]

Continued...

Mum was gutted.

She said she'll give me £££££. I said she can't give me her savings, and I won't accept it anyway.

She said she'll have to sell her house, and give me money. Again, I said no as that's just foolish talk.

The will is 50/50, and now my mum has realised that my sister has already benefited. She's not happy and now wants to change her will. I told her to think carefully about that, before doing anything.

It then came up that my sister has a high value item of mum's (>£10k) with all receipts and documentation associated, in her house. She said she wanted to buy it, but no money has changed hands. She's had it for at least six months. My mum has asked her to return it, but she hasn't.

After all that I am fuming. I'm not sure whether this is coercion or whatever but something stinks.

I felt better for having got it out in the open, and my mum said the same, but I feel bad for giving my mum the knowledge.

I told my mum it's up to her if she wants to talk with my sister about it, but I have had enough of her (sister) and see no good coming from talking to her.

Christ knows where this is going to end up.

Just got home, so will ring my mum later to check up on her, after this horrible shock. She seemed OK when I left, but y'know...

Sadly sounds like might end up tearing the family up if your sister has been devious about this.

Having seen first hand what this stuff can do to family I truly hope it doesn't end like that.

Sounds like at least you and your mum are still on good terms.

 

[Thekwango]

Who said anything about preplanned, to me they all seem like on the spot answers. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks it's rather convenient that there's nothing to substantiate even one of the given answers, that all the answers lead back to PL's sister.

Could well be the case. But I don’t think it is, all seems perfectly plausible.

Edit: should have added, the ‘high value item’ is what lends it plausibility, imo. That’s a very easy one to substantiate. So if mum is lying, it’s a high risk one. What the mother has said happened fits pretty well together.

 

[413x]

Well done @potatolord. As I suggested previously, your mum had a plan to make it even, it just appears your sister has rather tricked your mum. Personally, I would want a discussion with my sibling if they'd done this to the family, even if your intention is to then have nothing to do with her. I'd want my sibling to understand why. Maybe... maybe, it's an honest mistake of some kind. I would want to have the chat for sure.


This, on the other hand, I would suggest you should not do anymore. No more licking up backsides please, not even for a £300k house...

I'd certainly have a lick for 300k!

 

[413x]

I cannot fathom how brothers, sisters, sons and daughters can be this greed driven.

Tearing up a family and possibly coercion of your own mum? Vile.

Amazing what money can do to people

Can't imagine bringing up kids to have one of them do this.

 

[Colonel_Klinck]

If there is one thing that can tear a family apart its money/inheritance. Thank **** my brother and I said we would rather not got a penny than rip each off. I can understand why you are ******, don't let it consume you though, living life bitter and angry just isn't worth £1m let alone £150k.

 

[mattyfez]

I cannot fathom how brothers, sisters, sons and daughters can be this greed driven.

Tearing up a family and possibly coercion of your own mum? Vile.

Amazing what money can do to people

Can't imagine bringing up kids to have one of them do this.

I't would certainly be ineresting to see what the sister has to say about this...will she double down? will she do a sob-story?

@unwashed potato! I'd certainly take a few days off to de-compress, more than anything, and see if mum decides to have a cordial chat with your sister -it's quite the premeditated betrayal against both you and your mother!

 

[413x]

I't would certainly be ineresting to see what the sister has to say about this...will she double down? will she do a sob-story?

@unwashed potato! I'd certainly take a few days off to de-compress, more than anything, and see if mum decides to have a cordial chat with your sister.

When this (but worse) happened in my family.. It ruined a life long best friends & and sisters relationship.

Couldn't believe it. As everyone in my family has so much.
My mum and my auntie will never patch it up.
And my mums depression has never been so bad.

It went from all of us going over for Christmas to one of my families houses (ie uncle or aunt or ours) .. To me no longer speaking to anyome beyond my mum simply as I can't be ****** with all the drama.

Don't get me wrong, my parents aren't innocent either. But I'm done with all of them, except my parents.
Its really sad to lose your grandparents and extended family at the same time.


People suck.

 

[Colonel_Klinck]

Not sure why OP is getting such a hard time. Just imagine being in that situation.

Because this isn't the forum I would bring this kind of thread to, I'm not surprised at the reaction in the slightest.

 

[Colonel_Klinck]

UPDATE

I spoke with my mum earlier.

Went better than expected, but was not pleasant.

I told her I knew my sister is the owner. I asked why she hadn't involved me and she said she had told me before. I said she hadn't despite direct questions from me in the past. She then said it was because she thought I'd go mad.

I told her I would have definitely asked questions and we discussed what happened.

- house was given, not sold. No money changed hands.
- Sister didn't have anywhere to live. I pointed out she had been living there for about ten years already.
- sister told her the house couldn't be sold for structural reasons. No advice sought on this, taken on trust.
- Sister told her the house was worth half its true value. No valuation was done as my mum took her at her word.
- Sister told her the council were going to compulsory purchase the house. No evidence provided, again taken on trust.
- my mum's maths is poor and thought if she gave me half of (unrealistically low) value, we would have had a fair share. That would be around a quarter of true value.
- Mum covered the costs of the solicitor etc for the transfer of house.

.More to follow...

Sounds like you have a wrong un as a sister