I didn't say independently from the actions of others, i said living your life dependant on what other people do/say is always going to cause you problems.
Keyword there being living.
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Family dispute incoming
- Thread starter potatolord
- Start date
Keyword there being living.
I guess some don't think they have a choice.
In this case if you're a low earner and parents have a lot of cash.. The lure of inheritance must be significant.
I don't think many of us would argue we're not fortunate to be able to value family above money.
That said, I'm not convinced that everyone who is fixated on their inheritance and whether they'd get their fair share is of that mindset due to financial necessity.
You always have a choice, you may think one is better than another but like i said if you're living your life dependant on the choice other people make it's always going cause you problems. The only person you can rely on in this life is yourself, anything more is a bonus.
I agree with you. Never underestimate the ability of people, friends and family to let you down.
Theres always a choice.. But many people can't make it a choice. Same way many people say it's a choice to stay in a bad paying job. But many do.
This is why people think twice about posting anything. And its this attitude which kills off forum activity.
Imo its a fair question and if people are adult about it, it can lead to a very open and interesting discussion.
IHT will 100% come into effect. The estate will be over 7 Figures.
That's not going to work. See the section on regular payments here: https://www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts It's exempt from IHT and won't count as part of the inherited estate either for you to claim as some sort of portion as inheritance. Also there is no income tax on cash gifts for your SIL either so HMRC won't be interested.
You can lead a horse to water etc
Soldato
- Joined
- 30 Nov 2011
- Posts
- 11,376
Right, so a) she's not liable for any more tax as it's exempt anyway and b) if you do go down this route it will just mean your share is taxed more
You'd be better off being a grown up about it and asking for the same entitlement now as it's his money to do with what he wants and trying to argue behind his back after he's dead is petty and childish imo.
The more he gives away now the better everyone will be as it's iht exempt at that point. He's actually doing the right thing for the family by gifting regular amounts as it is tax free.
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I find it bizarre that more people with "quite a lot" don't give a bit more via the gifting allowance. Isn't it like 3k per person (gifter)?
Over even 5 years that's quite a lot.
Obviously many people can't due to it being locked up/circumstances etc, but if you can.. Its so much better for all
Nice fantasy. The money he's given her is gone.
Associate
okay okay need pics of mum
£250 per person each year for lots of people (provided its not part of the £3K you can also give away)
+
£5K/£2.5K/£1K towards wedding costs per year for kids/grandkids/randoms
+
another £3K a year in total to one person or split between more
+
Unlimited regular payments to another person after you've spent what you need to live and you can prove it is less than your monthly income and hence can be said to come out of it (whether that's wages, pensions, investments etc. - essentially out of anything that attracts some form of taxation before you start giving it away)
Plus seven years after giving a gift it doesn't count anyway for IHT
Sadly I had to find all this out with recent passing of my mother-in-law.
Not read the whole thread yet, but how's about this:
Let's say your sisters name is XXX. Go to your mum and say. "Hey Mum, you know your will is a 50/50 split yeah? Well I had this great idea! You know XXX has been living in your other house all these years and would probably want to continue living there when you pop your clogs, why not leave her that house and adjust the 50/50 split accordingly? So I did a cursory check and the other house is worth 300k, why not leave here that house and add half of that to my half to keep it 50/50? In fact, why don't you give her the house now to keep it simple! What? What is this piece of paper? Oh its just a silly little legally binding document to record this discussion, nothing more. Anyway, this is great because it was my idea!"
Edit: Alternatively, if you genuinely do not care about the money, go to your sister and tell her you know about the house gift and you are totally cool about it. Say, you don't care that your mother gave it to her but you are worried that you mum might get upset if you bring it up with her directly. So please can you XXX please let her know that I know, and that I am cool about it and I would be very happy if she could talk about it to me.
Basically you are giving you mother an off ramp, whist simultaneously getting into your sister's good books to the tune of 300 grand, and her no doubt scheming **** of a husband, but you can't have everything. Maybe once this is all out in the open you mum will spontaneously go along with option 1 above, only this time it would be *her* idea.
You have to really make it sound genuine you are fine with it with your sister though, otherwise she will twig and they probably start to scheme even more. So really lay it on thick that you really don't care about the money, and you are happy she has a permanent home etc. Basically you want your sister to go to your mum and start saying "Oh mum, what a relief, your son Potatolord, came to me and we had this really heartfelt talk and he is 100% ok with the house. But he is worried you'll get upset, please let him know the next time he does your shopping for you, and we can all relax"
Let's say your sisters name is XXX. Go to your mum and say. "Hey Mum, you know your will is a 50/50 split yeah? Well I had this great idea! You know XXX has been living in your other house all these years and would probably want to continue living there when you pop your clogs, why not leave her that house and adjust the 50/50 split accordingly? So I did a cursory check and the other house is worth 300k, why not leave here that house and add half of that to my half to keep it 50/50? In fact, why don't you give her the house now to keep it simple! What? What is this piece of paper? Oh its just a silly little legally binding document to record this discussion, nothing more. Anyway, this is great because it was my idea!"
Edit: Alternatively, if you genuinely do not care about the money, go to your sister and tell her you know about the house gift and you are totally cool about it. Say, you don't care that your mother gave it to her but you are worried that you mum might get upset if you bring it up with her directly. So please can you XXX please let her know that I know, and that I am cool about it and I would be very happy if she could talk about it to me.
Basically you are giving you mother an off ramp, whist simultaneously getting into your sister's good books to the tune of 300 grand, and her no doubt scheming **** of a husband, but you can't have everything. Maybe once this is all out in the open you mum will spontaneously go along with option 1 above, only this time it would be *her* idea.
You have to really make it sound genuine you are fine with it with your sister though, otherwise she will twig and they probably start to scheme even more. So really lay it on thick that you really don't care about the money, and you are happy she has a permanent home etc. Basically you want your sister to go to your mum and start saying "Oh mum, what a relief, your son Potatolord, came to me and we had this really heartfelt talk and he is 100% ok with the house. But he is worried you'll get upset, please let him know the next time he does your shopping for you, and we can all relax"
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This is an important note...Assuming you live for a further 7 years, it's not considered a taxable gift any more.
So signing a house over to a child if they would be facing a big IHT bill is a way of reducing/avoiding that tax bill, that's why the OP should tread carefull...it might be as simple as that - he might be inline to inherit whatever is left, or a relativley larger chunk of it.
Although it's a dangerous strategy - as has been mentioned, end of life care come fees are astronomical...over £700per week at best, and that will be clawed back from the estate on death, so the op could still end up with nothing or significantly less than the sister.
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Soldato
I think your mother thought more highly of you than you did of yourself.
The fact you offered your inheritance to you sister after your mum died means your mum was most likely right
Soldato
Hey man, that is what gracefully lying to get out of family dispute is all about. That is on page one of the Off Ramp 101 manual.
Over the years, myself, my brother and sister, have all received help when we have needed it from Mum and Dad. They have been amazing. They have their quirks, annoyances and some things I don't agree with but generally they have been sound. What each one of us has had in terms of support is not just financial. We have all at some point had to move back in with parents temporarily in our lives. They have always provided emotional support to any situation.
In terms of financial input, I have no idea how much financial help they had over the years. EDIT. I mean to say I know it will have been a lot, but not sure how much.
Bro and sis both went to uni, both had big weddings, divorces, multiple houses, children, cars. Both got on the ladder much earlier than me despite me being older.
My wife and I had kids very young, got in a rent trap for nearly 2 decades and it's been tough. My sister had a LOT of free child care as Mum had retired by the time she had kids...
Over the years I never said anything or complained...
COVID came and we lost our rental house and had to move. We tried to buy our first at the ripe age of late 30s. Mum and Dad got wind of this and knew we had put an offer in on a house but it was rejected as too little. It was a bit of a goldilocks house for us. Alas...not enough money. Mum phoned me and told me they were going to make up the difference to help us get on the ladder. So when the time came Mum and Dad came through for us which I am so thankful for.
I'm in a very comfortable place with Mum and Dad, bro and sis because generally speaking Mum and Dad have tried to give help when it's needed and the cost is not really relevant. It's situational.
Gifting a 300K house is life changing and if I found out that my bro and sis had had something similar where I had nothing, I would be really upset for a number of reasons. That completely shapes life decisions when comparing having to pay for a 300K house or getting it free.
In terms of financial input, I have no idea how much financial help they had over the years. EDIT. I mean to say I know it will have been a lot, but not sure how much.
Bro and sis both went to uni, both had big weddings, divorces, multiple houses, children, cars. Both got on the ladder much earlier than me despite me being older.
My wife and I had kids very young, got in a rent trap for nearly 2 decades and it's been tough. My sister had a LOT of free child care as Mum had retired by the time she had kids...
Over the years I never said anything or complained...
COVID came and we lost our rental house and had to move. We tried to buy our first at the ripe age of late 30s. Mum and Dad got wind of this and knew we had put an offer in on a house but it was rejected as too little. It was a bit of a goldilocks house for us. Alas...not enough money. Mum phoned me and told me they were going to make up the difference to help us get on the ladder. So when the time came Mum and Dad came through for us which I am so thankful for.
I'm in a very comfortable place with Mum and Dad, bro and sis because generally speaking Mum and Dad have tried to give help when it's needed and the cost is not really relevant. It's situational.
Gifting a 300K house is life changing and if I found out that my bro and sis had had something similar where I had nothing, I would be really upset for a number of reasons. That completely shapes life decisions when comparing having to pay for a 300K house or getting it free.
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