Fellaz only (ladies in here is gatecrashing)

Dave said:
Should be:

19. When a GIRL is not arguing, she is thinking deeply of someting to argue about. :p
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True, i think the whole thing should be re-written from a man's point of view.

Here's mine

When you say NO then act NO, Dont say NO then offer an "oral stimulating pleasure" after **use your imagination here** this always lead to misunderstanding....with possibly grave consequences! :cool:
 
Edited for truth:

1. If you like Her .. ASK HER OUT. Just don't complain when she tears your heart from your ribcage and crushes it in front of your eyes as your life ebbs away.

2. When you hug her, put YOUR ARMS around her WAIST and hold her close then whisper 'It's backdoor night...'

3. When you WALK next to her, get as CLOSE as you can to her. Women don't understand the concept of 'personal space'; feel free to abuse this fact.

4. If she's the only one in your life, TELL HER. If she's not, DON'T.

5. ALWAYS let her know how much you like her, love her, or think about her. Women have smaller brains than men which are filled with more useful things such as how to sew, cook, clean and put on makeup. It is imperative that you keep reminding her, lest she forget.

6. Give her presents and cards for no reason. If she doesn't respond with oral sex, stop giving gifts.

7. If she hangs up on you, don't call back. Let her stew for a while; she'll call back when she realises she's wrong.

8. Always offer to pay, if she pauses, split the bill (make sure that you only pay for what you had, no more.)

9. Kiss her lightly every chance you get. Bang her senseless when she least expects it.

10. Look in her eyes and kiss her on the lips, forehead, or nose. Girls love being treated like the family pet.

11. If she says she's cold, remind her that you told her to take a coat. Under no circumstances give her your coat as this causes two problems: 1, it is a mental victory for her. 2, you get cold.

12. Don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with...Gently persuade her using such phrases as 'My last girlfriend loved it.', 'It only hurts to start with.' and 'You would let me do it if you loved me.'

13. Invite her to dinner or somewhere where you can talk, instead of the movies. If she talks too much, go to the movies by yourself.

14. Try not to ask her if she's mad at you EVERY TIME you speak to her. You don't need to; she always is but she'll never tell you why.

15. Always tell her you LOVE her only if you really mean it...Or if you want a blow job.

16. DON'T pressure her to do anything she isnt READY to do. When she is ready, she will let you know. She just wants everything to be more SPECIAL and PERFECT. So appreciate what she does do with you...

...She said that to the last guy too.

17. DON'T' go and tell your friends anything that happens between you two, ‘cause it will hurt her and make her mad...and it will NEVER happen again. However, she is free to tell her friends anything and everything. Do not question why.

18. When a GIRL is quiet, she is breathing in.

19. When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking of something to argue about.

20. When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering why she agreed after number 12.

21. When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is fine. No further conversation is required.

22. When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why she agreed to number 12.

23. When a GIRL lays on your chest, play with her boobs.

24. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants your money.

25. When a GIRL says I love you, she means it. Unless she doesn't...In which case, you're ****ed.

26. When a GIRL says "i miss you", respond with 'as I expected.'

*n
 
Mr. Balance enters the building. Couple of points since I am in a hurry:

1) I agree with LostKat that it is a bit much for many girls. I can't work with someone who is overly clingy etc. It is nice once in a while, but I want a partner (more or less equal - since perfect balance doesn't exist) not a 5 years old I need to babysit/pamper.

2) I can see where the gangsta badboy assessment comes from though. Certainly, a lot of "badboys" seem to have some success, quantatively more (since they are "bad" they get to bounce around partners, and some of them *do* have enough partners in their lifetime to make it seem that women dig that) than your stereotypical goodie two-shoes ("wet lettuce"). I would assert that most people in this category -mean- well, and they -are- putting the women above them, as opposed to the bad boys who step on the women. And I do find it interesting that the women still prefer the later to the former, which I believe is what fuel the believes that women like "bad boys" , or "nice guys finish last".
My view? Two points (again :p):
a) I'll agree with the the OPs point that women often say one thing then do another. Heck, I have to question if they really know what they really want.
b) But most probably don't like "bad boys" per se. It just happens that they possess some positive traits: assertiveness, confidence etc. Your badboy will probably take them one a step further and get arrogant, manipulative etc. From my observations, there are more women who are more willing to take the good and the negative than someone who only has "nice" in his inventory, and nothing else (or maybe even a couple of negatives). Those "negatives" may not be necessarily obvious: to the clingy (sometime negative) girl, she is clingy because she loves him. Likewise, to the guy who treat the girl like a piece of glass, he is doing it to show he cares. Well, both can backfires if not kept in check.
You can strike in between though. If you are confident, secure, mostly a good person (hey, it's fun to tease - without geniunely going out of line), then it probably would work a bit better. Not that there is a single equation that work for everyone mind you ;)

Going back to what I originally said, I don't want someone who is always clingy. But I don't want someone who doesn't give a crap either [obviously] :)

Edit: So much for making this sort :D
 
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penski i love you man, if only im gay i would wanna have sex with you right now and infront of the web cam!!!


lol
Thanks for writing that, im sending it back to the girl who sent it to me originaly mmmmmmmwaaah!!!
 
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TooNice said:
Once you look at people getting married, it is a different story - of course, one could argue that "bad boys r 4ever"; they don't get married or whatever [straying off toopic].
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I'm an evil, manipulative *******...But I'm staying with Law '4eva' (:/).

Won't marry her though.

*n
 
ElRazur said:
penski i love you man, if only im gay i would wanna have sex with you right now and infront of the web cam!!!


lol
Thanks for writing that, im sending it back to the girl who sent it to me originaly mmmmmmmwaaah!!!
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Best. Post. On. The. Internet.

*n
 
Lostkat said:
[GATECRASH]
We're not all fragile china dolls you know. I think that quite a lot of the above post is rubbish as far as I'm concerned. If I had a boyfriend that did all the above, I'd feel incredibly claustrophobic and would get annoyed with him very quickly. Having said that though, lots of girls pine for clingy, obsessive, wet lettuce boyfriends who follow them around like sick puppies. Whatever floats your boat I guess :)

I like my boyfriend to treat me like a human being, not a precious ornament who can't fend for itself.
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Hmmm, interesting.

I do however, say this to you Lostkat. Why don't you say what you really mean. ;) :D :D
 
ElRazur said:
Dont be daft. I am homophobic the whole point of what im saying. Gwad!!!
It was meant as a joke ......get it? A JOKE. Did you seriously think i wanna have sex with penski?
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Why not? Everyone else does.

Sweetloaf - although I'm not adverse to the odd bit of bummery, I pitch, I don't catch ;)

Besides, I think ElRazur would make a lovely prison bitch.

*n
 
ElRazur said:
Dont be daft. I am homophobic the whole point of what im saying. Gwad!!!
It was meant as a joke ......get it? A JOKE. Did you seriously think i wanna have sex with penski?
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Everyone else does :o
 
penski said:
Why not? Everyone else does.

Sweetloaf - although I'm not adverse to the odd bit of bummery, I pitch, I don't catch ;)

Besides, I think ElRazur would make a lovely prison bitch.

*n
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You know before i will get all worked up by your post but now i have reasons to believe your are very good at sarcasm so i aint even moving. Say what you want. :)

Perhaps you might wanna bat since you dont pitch, come on it is only a bit of harmless fun my friend. Then after we can go for a pint down in a very discreet gay bar in Soho! So what do you say.... :)
 
ElRazur said:
You know before i will get all worked up by your post but now i have reasons to believe your are very good at sarcasm so i aint even moving. Say what you want. :)
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There is no sarcasm in that post.

Perhaps you might wanna bat since you dont pitch, come on it is only a bit of harmless fun my friend. Then after we can go for a pint down in a very discreet gay bar in Soho! So what do you say.... :)
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I'm a bit far from Soho and I have a girlfriend. Thanks for the offer though.

I know a few guys in your neck of the woods who may be more your type.

I'll pass them your contact details :)

*n
 
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