Because I am just getting a bit fed up with doing applications for the last 2 months with absolute no acknowledgement and the ridiculous job requirements for such simple minimum wage jobs I decided to write a cover letter.
Please let me know if you think I should change anything, the job I'm applying for is for data entry clerk:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have read with great interest on
www.reed.co.uk the position of "Order Processor" which you are advertising, I have searched all my life for an opportunity to do such a glamorous job and can not tell you how happy I was that you are giving me an opportunity to do this 'temporarily' for as much as £7.00 per hour. Yes ofcourse I can pass a successful credit check, I have 2 mortgages, a car and no debts or outstanding loans, I hear a lot of talk about the recession but I don't know what people are talking about, I am rolling in money and that is why I am applying for a temporary position as a data entry clerk.
I have previous data entry experience which I believe makes me a perfect candidate, typing data into a computer software interface program is a very hard skill to master and I believe it would require years to train someone to be able to master such a feat. I am able to provide you with a 5 year living address activity with no gaps, I have a very stable life and have never moved before, luckily, I also save all my bills, just in case, I have to apply through an agency for a temporary job that requires me to prove where I lived for the last 5 years. Your 3 years of work references with no gaps is also not a problem, even thou I am desperately trying to find a job in the illustrious field of order processing, I still have a very desirable CV and have not had a problem finding work in the last 3 years, I am able to provide references from all the companies I have worked with in the last 3 years will suit your temporary position just fine.
I notice that you mention that unfortunately free parking is not available, that's not a problem, I am more then willing to pay for my own parking everyday for a job which barely pays above minimum wage, I am just glad I have all the requisites required for you to hire me, I don't know where I would be working if I had a perfect credit score, 5 years in a stable address and 3 years worth of references with absolutely no gaps in between. Overall, I am glad that you don't ask for a criminal check, unfortunately I was convicted of credit card data laundering and fraud a few years ago but I assume that is fine providing I have a good credit score and references to back up my brilliant work experience.
Thank you for considering my application,
I look forward to your response