Funniest line from anything, ever?

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Can't remember any of the lines, but if anyone's has seen "Geordie Star Wars". I actually felt drunk from the laughing, and couldn't walk for a while after because my abs were aching so much. I wish i could find a copy.

But for one i can actually quote

Discussing how World War I started:

Baldrick: I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry.

Edmund: I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.
 
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ANother from Spaced. Best sitcom there has been for years...wish they'd get on with the third series though.

Mike (in a phone box): "I fell asleep on the tube..."

Tim: "Where are you now?"

Mike: "err... Sheffield"

Tim: "the tube doesnt go to sheffield, mike"

Mike: "yeah, I must have changed at kings cross"
 
From the twelve monkeys, the scene where Willies is at the motel with the chick, the pimp comes in, he pushes him in the toilet, comes out with blood allover him...the pimp then comes out and says (along the lines of)

"I got attacked by a ***** crazy dentist"

Ok it had me in stitches :o
 
good thread, id have to quote Mr Gervais' Animals show which had me almost wetting myself but the best bit had to be about the bible, but i just dont think a quote would do it justice
 
Airplane is just quality for funny lines,

Old lady asking him about being on the plane:
Oldlady : Nervous?
Striker : Yes.
Oldlady : First time?
Striker : No, I've been nervous lots of times.

When the food poisoning is revealed:
Rumack:You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon
as possible, we've got to get them to the hospital. . .
Elaine : A hospital . . what is it?
Rumack : Its a big building with patients, but that's not
important right now.
 
...and another Spaced one.

Brian: "Can I borrow a teabag?"
Tim: "Only if you bring it back."
Brian: "What?"
Tim: "You can have a teabag Brian you can't borrow one."
Brian: "Oh.."
Tim: "... You've got some paint on you."
Brian: "It's a literal tribute to the reflexivity of Rembrandt."
Tim: "Did he like it?"
Brian: "No, he's dead."
Tim: "Bloody hell that really backfired didn't it"
 
From Bill Bailey's Bewilderness show: Tribute to Chris De Burgh 'Beautiful Ladies'...

'...Beautiful ladies are lovely,
But sometimes they don't take care.
Too busy with their make up,
And combing their lovely hair-
To take basic safety precautions.'
 
Stringy said:
Airplane is just quality for funny lines,

Old lady asking him about being on the plane:
Oldlady : Nervous?
Striker : Yes.
Oldlady : First time?
Striker : No, I've been nervous lots of times.

When the food poisoning is revealed:
Rumack:You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon
as possible, we've got to get them to the hospital. . .
Elaine : A hospital . . what is it?
Rumack : Its a big building with patients, but that's not
important right now.
Click to expand...

hehehehe:D

Striker - I cant fly this plane, its a different type of plane, altogether...
Everyone - Its a different type of plane

:D:D:D
 
Another Friends quote

They are all watching an old home movie of the Gellars, Monica enters on screen from when she was obese

[Guys all grimmace]
Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds!
Chandler: So, how many cameras are actually on you?
 
loony toons back in action film

daffy duck runs up the road and the guy just runs through it and daffy duck runs back down the other side and the man runs straight through it again and daffy duck says

"Hey, now thats just cheatin!!!"

:D:D:D:D
 
Metrix said:
Another Friends quote

They are all watching an old home movie of the Gellars, Monica enters on screen from when she was obese

[Guys all grimmace]
Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds!
Chandler: So, how many cameras are actually on you?
Click to expand...

wasnt it..."how many cameras did you eat?"
 
From, well, you should know:

Neal Page: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal Page: Where are your other hand?
Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
Neal Page: Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!!

And:

Police Officer: What the hell are you driving here?
Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in a nick of time.
Police Officer: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

Guess you had to be there though. :D
 
From the last boy scout
Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I ****** your wife.
Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?
Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' ************ with a hat.
Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool but you've got to take a bullet.
Joe Hallenbeck: After ****** your wife I'll take two.

Funniest thing in a movie ever
 
Will & Grace; Will has just gone ever a gay rights speech with Grace.

Will: ...And I'll probably end with some Q&A
Grace: I have a Q, Why am I bored off my A?
Will: Perhaps because you're being such a B
 
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