Grief & Loss

Diddums said:
It's not your fault mate and I fully appreciate your situation, I just wanted to highlight that this community is possibly one of the best on the internet, not what you thought it was before ;)

Hope the day's ok, I can't begin to fathom what you're going through.
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For sure.
No where else get support from everything from mental health, to camping equipment, to pension advice.
Moderated well and probably mostly in the 30s-40s age range like myself.

By far the best online community I'm in.

For all the silly threads, when it gets serious pretty much everyone is supportive
 
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So sorry to hear of your loss. Take all the support you can from family and friends. Don't worry about grieving and cry if you have to, don't keep anything bottled up. I know how hard it is to even get through a day but you will, so slowly one day at a time. A big hug to all of you.
 
I am so, so sorry this has happened. It is a horrific shock when something like this just comes out of the blue.

I suppose people that people don’t talk about these sort of things, because there is no magic solution. It hurts like hell and unfortunately the only remedy is time.

Right now, the shock of something so random and uncontrollable will knock your for six and you will desperately try to control everything else in your life. Don’t. You have to try to avoid that urge and seek help instead. Whether that be a home help or go to the doctors and see what local help is available, or maybe family. There are options but you mustn’t try to sort all this by yourself. You need time, and there needs to be others who can take the pressure off.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better. I'm not going to lie to you, though, it does take a very long time to move past something like that.
 
Might heart goes out to you, all you can do is be there for your kids. As others have said, take time to grieve, both you and them, and accept whatever help is offered to ease day to day life. It may help to look at family grief counselling, as it may make it easier for you all to process your feelings and come together.
 
This hits close to home. Last month my wife (41) was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive cancer. In the last few weeks she had 2 major surgeries, and spent most of this week in ICU and tuesday-wednesday things were very rough). Luckily she picked up and today left ICU. For the first time I truly thought I would loose her and was trying to comprehend how I would cope. Unfortunately I have no certainty as the next step as some heavy chemo and hopes of no metastasis. None of the specialists really know what to do or what is happening, all I hear is things like "rare", "unusual", "very aggressive", "Significant growth", "we don't know what chemo. Her case is being passed between different specialists across Europe . We have swapped between surgery 1st chemo 2nd, to chemo 1st surgery 1st 3 times. Seemingly the only positive point is my wife being so young and fit the doctors just say to ignore all the survival odds because my wife can deal with radial surgeries and experimental chemo. I guess we are 50-50.

I do share Kid duty with my wife but she has more flexiibiity and my job requires evenings . So the last month has been extremely challenging and I cant keep this job if the worst comes to the worst. I have calculated if I quit my job I can probably survive off savings for 3-4 years depending on benefits and insurance payouts which I hope is long enough that the kids are then more independent.

Edit: I dpn;t want to be insensitive and hijack your thread. Just your scenario is the nightmare keeping me awake all night and making me drink myself into a coma.
 
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I'm very sorry to hear about this, OP.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and when faced with new decisions, seek help and learn and just try do what you think is the right thing at that time.

You're probably doing much better than you think you are right now.
 
Very sorry for your loss Ben that’s absolutely awful to read.

For your children’s sake find your strength through supporting them and keep doing what you’re doing. Take each day as it comes and be there for your little ones.

Make sure to get the support you need to help guide you through this, even if it’s just a coffee with a family member, or time with a trained professional.
 
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Wizzkidy said:
It was a heart attack caused by a blockage
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MY ex wife passed away from very similar circumstances at the start of the year.

I barely ever saw her but it still took me probably 5 months for it to fully sink in.

Must take years when you lose a partner, hang in their OP and surround yourself with friends and family as much as you can.

If you weren't close with relatives nows the time to start for the sake of the kids.


I have a son from my ex wife and she had no family apart from her dad, she wanted to stay up here to be close to him.
What's its ended up doing is basically meaning my sons only family is me and his half brother whos in the RAF, because all my relatives live in another part of the country miles away and he never got to know them.
 
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Well the week has finished and I managed to get the younger ones to school all week and one of the older ones. My 8 year old has football training in the mornings, no one else is going to wanna go but with only me here they will now have no choice but to get up and come, that will be fun.

I am not sure why the just giving link has been removed? I was trying to get the funeral paid for and thought this would have been fine to leave on the page, astounding the amount of support I have seen on this but the funeral is going to cost a fortune.
 
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