Obviously not !!
Heart broken
- Thread starter Ripper
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Obviously not !!
Its probably because its a mainly male forum. If you read the problem page of a womans mag it might be a different story.
The instinct to want to make a home with someone and have children?
Not sure. Certainly for some, children come as a bit of a surprise and so the rest comes with.
Also certainly for women I think there comes a time when "broodiness" and "nesting" become real issues. For the majority I think that comes after finding /the/ man she can see fathering her children.
But I think it also comes with age/experience...
As yermum says OP - at that age you shouldn't /need/ to work hard at a relationship. I agree completely - when you're young, unmarried, with no children - if it's no longer fun, it shouldn't carry on. It's not fair on the person who's fallen out of love OR on the one still in love. I tried for a year. I know this too well.
It does. Makes me wonder too.
If we get scientific about it, it may be that the girls fall more quickly - and the guys spend a few more months before deciding for sure that they are in love. So the girls' honeymoon period tails off before the boys'. Whadd'ya reckon?
Men do jilt girls a lot but agreed not as often in this long term, one-person-in-love-one-not kind of way. Unless I'm getting an odd perspective too, it's possible...
You poor thing. I'm not being sarcastic.Wow, you just described exactly the place I am in right now. It sucks and I don't know what to do as I live with her, and moving into a new place at the end of this month
Seriously - you know exactly what to do, and that is talk to her about it.
I spent a whole year being too cowardly to say anything, and even did the same for 6 or so months with the boyfriend who came after, and in both cases we were a bit long-distance and certainly had no ties between us.
Don't be a coward like I was - it doesn't help, it'll only get worse. I know it's the most frightening and heart-breaking thing in the world, especially if like me you care SO much about them but simply can't find the romance anywhere any more, but carrying on when you don't really love her (in that way) any more is heart-wrenching for you and VERY unfair to her.
Been there, don't that, go the mental scars.
I wanted to marry her, she didn't want to see me ever again.
Swore that we would keep close contact, 12 months of pathetic whining from me and I pulled myself together, dropped all contact, and went on the prowl. 6 months later gave up all hope of finding a girl. 3 months later met a terrific girl, originally thought she would be a stepping stone to re-orientate myself. 6 months later and my feelings for her still grow day by day, but they are still nothing compared to the love that I lost.
I thought of suicide a few times. II was messed up by a women and swore never to love again. If I ever do love it will take a long time to get over the fear of pain.
Take things easy and see what pans out. Don't be a ****er like me
I wanted to marry her, she didn't want to see me ever again.
Swore that we would keep close contact, 12 months of pathetic whining from me and I pulled myself together, dropped all contact, and went on the prowl. 6 months later gave up all hope of finding a girl. 3 months later met a terrific girl, originally thought she would be a stepping stone to re-orientate myself. 6 months later and my feelings for her still grow day by day, but they are still nothing compared to the love that I lost.
I thought of suicide a few times. II was messed up by a women and swore never to love again. If I ever do love it will take a long time to get over the fear of pain.
Take things easy and see what pans out. Don't be a ****er like me
Soldato
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Are you saying tell her how I feel to try and sort it out or tell her how I feel to break up with her?
The only plus from this is that if you do keep in contact you will more than likely end up in bed with her and the sex will be great.... ive been where you are now. From experience it will be much better for you to try to cut contact asap. Belive me i know how hard that is.. I ended up seeing my ex on and off for a yr before i was well screwed up by it all. Cutting contact is for the best imo.
Well, I don't know exactly your situation. What do you think? How do you feel?
If you've fallen out of love, and you have all this massive guilt as I did, I suspect it won't come back. In which case you'll need to prepare yourself for a break up, and a very upset woman who won't understand /why/ because you're probably not able to give any specific reason other than "it's just gone".
The two most important things for you right now are to cut off all contact with her for at least a few weeks, and get it in your head that she is not the only girl you can ever be with. At 22, you are far from too old to ever find love again, there will be someone else.
Soldato
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My advice would be to do things to take your mind off her, even see other girls if you want. 
cut all contact - I won't be the only one saying this. It's easier in the long term
Edit - Perhaps I should add that's easier said than done, as I'm sure many of us know
+1
Don't be an emotional blanket for her whilst waiting for the "friends" thing to be ok with you. My ex had been playing the "I don't want you out of my life card" whilst dangling the carrot of a possible reunion for the past two years. Like a mug I tried it, and just this past month finally told her to bog off and leave me alone. Don't put yourself through it
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let her come to you.
Last night my girlfriend of 3.5 years told me she's not sure if she feels the same way anymore. I'd seen it coming and felt dodgy for the past two weeks but just tried to make myself think that it was me being paranoid.
Things have happened, she's started becoming less reliant on me in a way, and she has been seeing her friends more and more. She's also booked a holiday with them for next month (she's already been on holiday this summer with me), and she showed me less and less affection recently. She's always told me she wanted me to be more serious with her (see her more, do different things with her, stop over more etc). So the last two weeks I've been different to wards her and made more effort and it seems thats made her realise its actually not what she wants.
We saw each other on Monday night and again she wasn't showing much affection to wards me so when I got home I finally decided to phone her up and asked her what was up. We decided we'd speak the next day (last night) and that was when she told me.
However, we're best friends and she's been with me since she was 16 (me since 19), she told me she still loves me and doesn't not want to have me in her life. This talk lasted about 2-3 hours and we both cried bucket loads. I think in her eyes we're basically best friends instead of partners now, which makes it even harder to be fair
I left her house last night after telling her to have a proper think about what she wants and said goodbye and she said its not goodbye just good night, so I really don't know whats going on. She then text me when I got home saying "I'm so sorry I never wanted any of this to happen!". I never replied and I'm just waiting for her to make the next move now.
I'm absolutely gutted. I got home and just went straight to my mums room in tears which is completely sad for a 22 year old but that was how bad I felt. Today mum and dad have phoned me and I can't talk properly on the phone
I don't know what to expect form this thread but it just helps to talk about it, I've been texting a couple of my mates and they have been good to wards me too. We cannot just become friends, as much as it kills me to lose her it'd kill me even more to be around her when she finds someone else.
I'm lost. I know people have far far worse problems but I can't help how I feel.
Probably the worst thing you can say to someone when breaking up with them, behind "It's not you, it's me" of course.
Let me translate that into what she really meant "you're not the one, but here, have a runners up medal".
Sorry to hear about the breakup, it's not nice, I've been there when you genuinely feel for someone and you're right - you can't help how you feel despite people telling you to get over it etc.
Does get better with time though, did for me but only after cutting all contact. Not saying you have to, or that it's the right thing to do - but it was for me.
So she dumped you and you are going running to her because you can't accept the fact she dumped you.
Reading between the lines I am guessing she feels pressured into seeing you.
Mug or doormat, which one are you?
Or maybe she just could not tell you what you wanted...........