I think there are a lot of internet myths around chimps. I think the average man would lose in a straight fight, however someone very strong - but crucially heavy, (30-40kg+ weight advantage) and experienced in fighting or contact sports, wouldn’t be anything like as one sided as people make out.
Human v Chimp fight
- Thread starter Merlin5
- Start date
Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Apr 2007
- Posts
- 6,611
A roided up pro MMA heavy weight yeah probably..... those guys are ridiculously strong.
That wasn't really aggressive, looked more like a slight annoyance on behalf of the chimp and it wouldn't let go of whatever the bloke had in his hand. More like a tug of war. Earlier in the video you see a chimp jump all over another guy and it's just a cuddle.
Soldato
- Joined
- 30 Sep 2005
- Posts
- 16,719
The difference being the chimp would bite with it's hugh mouth, whereas humans don't really think about biting. When you have a chimp bite a huge chunk out of your arm, good luck getting that roundhouse kick off.
Associate
- Joined
- 19 Aug 2018
- Posts
- 74
Seen video's of chimps tearing other chimps and monkey's apart for fun , not as innocent as they look. They will try and rip other males balls off or rip eyes out to win a fight, I thought that was a learned thing but it must be built into them.
I wouldn't wanna go against em even if I was built like world's strongest man
I wouldn't wanna go against em even if I was built like world's strongest man
I think it would be winnable but not really worth the risk finding out unless it's a life or death situation, the trouble is chimps won't follow MMA style rules and even a seasoned MMA fighter could wind up with his eyes being gouged out or his ear(s) and other bits ripped off.
I don't think an MMA fighter would be the best choice, I think a gigantic strong, athletic person - used to throwing people around using weight, such a a rugby prop forward would stand a much better chance.
Punching and kicking I think would be a liability more than an any real use, in order to beat the chimp - you'd have to kill it, which would mean overpowering it - the best way to do that would be with a big weight advantage, so you could physically get it on the floor and keep it there (which a 120KG athlete probably could, vs a 60-80KG chimp)
Then the best way would probably be to strangle it to death, which is where the weight advantage also comes in.
Pretty grizzly to imagine rofl, you'd probably lose an ear or finger and end up with some nasty injuries, but I think the right person could do it in a fight to the death.
Punching and kicking I think would be a liability more than an any real use, in order to beat the chimp - you'd have to kill it, which would mean overpowering it - the best way to do that would be with a big weight advantage, so you could physically get it on the floor and keep it there (which a 120KG athlete probably could, vs a 60-80KG chimp)
Then the best way would probably be to strangle it to death, which is where the weight advantage also comes in.
Pretty grizzly to imagine rofl, you'd probably lose an ear or finger and end up with some nasty injuries, but I think the right person could do it in a fight to the death.
My point from the video is that they're quite small, they're only 3ft tall and weigh 40-60kg. They're stronger pound for pound and more aggressive than humans, and will obviously scratch and bite, but put it up against a 120kg 6"4 MMA fighter, who is stronger in absolute terms than the Chimp, then they're throwing hard soccer kicks and elbows/punches with no gloves or padding, and managing distance and using their reach then I think the Chimp gets hurt.
Last edited:
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 28,728
- Location
- Auckland
Brilliant
That is some delusion - humans stand no chance, come up with as many hypotheticals as you like - the result will be the same. There is a reason why early man was such easy prey before our brains were big enough to invent tools and weapons.
Oh I didn't know you were an expert on how early Humans coped with predators, could you start a thread on that as I'd be fascinated to learn more?
Possibly, depends how aggressive the chimp is initially. It does seem that they're going to scratch like crazy, are strong (though not as strong as some of the silly claims you'll find) and would do some serious damage. There is a risk that if they are to inflict a serious wound early on then it is game over... they will rip out eyeballs, pull your skin off etc...
I guess it comes down to how well the MMA person can get that initial contact with them... if they're able to get a hold around their neck then I guess it is possible, but there is so much that could go wrong for them.
As for Bruce Lee, he'd get his ass kicked by a competent MMA fighter. He was phenomenal in his day but things have progressed so much since then.
Bloody chimps, can fly into space but can't follow simple MMA rules!
No thanks, but you are welcome to put your theory to the test at your local zoo.
I don't think it's delusional at all, It would be very difficult - but I think someone who is big and strong enough could kill a chimp, although it would be an awful challenge - I certainly don't think it would be as one sided as many people claim, Chimps aren't very heavy and not very tall, whilst they're very strong pound for pound, they don't have any serious armament other than their ability to scratch and tear - nor do humans, but a human big and strong enough (Rugby prop forward for example) I think could physically overpower a Chimp - it will also tire much quicker when pinned down.
Agreed,
The biggest advantage for the chimp would be it's ability to blind someone by gouging or scratching, that would be the human's biggest weak point, however it's biggest weakness would be it's light weight combined by it's lack of endurance or stamina - especially against someone 50KG heavier than it.
I doubt you'd get enough blows in before you're screwed as the chimp would be on you like glue. Almost instantly. Biting, ripping, and scratching. Using all four limbs. They literally rip off arms, faces and dicks /o\. Wild animals are at a whole different level of ferocity and instinct. Perhaps a human groomed from birth to be the biggest, strongest possible human, but with the humanity squashed from the get go - some raving psychopath who goes in without fear, biting and eye gouging - might stand a chance.
Soldato
- Joined
- 30 Sep 2005
- Posts
- 16,719
The human would have to be very luckily, if it could somehow catch the chimp and pin it down by the neck.....maybe. Doubtfull. The chimp would jump up and start biting hands and face.
The minute a hand comes off, or a huge chunk of flesh it's game over. Not something I'd want to see.
The minute a hand comes off, or a huge chunk of flesh it's game over. Not something I'd want to see.