Human v Chimp fight

I've been on a trek encountering wild monkeys abroad before and seen them turn nasty being within meters of them. If there's a group of them that turn, it's a pretty scary and uncomfortable situation. I've also seen the speed, power and agility they can attack other monkeys with and with the larger adult males it's honestly frightening in person - the sheer speed is explosive. Much more so than a very competent middleweight fighter with fast hand speed that will likely gas themselves after some combinations of hard punches. If a chimp was being particularly aggressive and not backing down I doubt any fighter would stand a chance without a weapon.
 
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Django x2 said:
MMA is a useless sport made up by poor kids who can't technique fight just to give their street brawl tactics a name and to allow it to become a "sport", so yes, absolutely a Chimp would destroy a self titled MMA fighter.
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Not sure if serious.

Threepwood said:
Meanwhile Primate natural habitation is being decimated by deforestation, sorry to be a penis but... meh.
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As soon as the chimps can build a Caterpillar Bulldozer it's game over for humans :(

Drollic said:
I've been on a trek encountering wild monkeys abroad before and seen them turn nasty being within meters of them. If there's a group of them that turn, it's a pretty scary and uncomfortable situation. I've also seen the speed, power and agility they can attack other monkeys with and with the larger adult males it's honestly frightening in person - the sheer speed is explosive. Much more so than a very competent middleweight fighter with fast hand speed that will likely gas themselves after some combinations of hard punches. If a chimp was being particularly aggressive and not backing down I doubt any fighter would stand a chance without a weapon.
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Thank you, what sort of monkeys were they? Even the little ones are ferociously fast, now imagine that but 60kg people. 60kg of 100% genital smashing, face ripping power.
 
I think they're exaggerating a bit, though chimps are stronger than the average human and in most cases would be quite capable of kicking our asses in a fight.
 
terley said:
people here saying chimps are 7-10x stronger than a man.. are you seriously trying to tell us that a chimp can bench press 700kg?
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I think it's accounted for bodyweight as well, with chimps obliviously weighing sometimes around 1/4 less than the heaviest "strongmen" (High average of male chimps 60kg, Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (Worlds strongest man) 180-200kg), pound for pound, they'll be many times stronger. Also it would depend on the actual activity being done, I imagine a Worlds Strongest Man could bench press more than the strongest chimp, but hanging pull ups? A chimp can smash them out all day every day without any pre-workout or protein powder.

dowie said:
I think they're exaggerating a bit, though chimps are stronger than the average human and in most cases would be quite capable of kicking our asses in a fight.
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I'd put my money on chimps being "stronger" than 90% of humans. Change my mind.

None of this matters though, it's not just "strength" that makes the difference, it's the way it can apply that strength. That and the pure primal ferocious instinct a chimpanzee has.

I need to do some work and stop googling chimp facts.
 
Megahurtz400 said:
I'd put my money on chimps being "stronger" than 90% of humans. Change my mind.
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Why would I change your mind, you've just made a statement that agrees with what I've said, albeit you've plucked a random figure out of thin air whereas I just stated that they're stronger than the average human.

What perhaps is being exaggerated are the claims of being 7-10 times stronger.
 
robcat101 said:
I reckon the Chuckle Brothers could manage a piano though.

Revised score prediction
Chuckle Bros (to me) 2 - chimp 0
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I would say the chuckle brothers in their current form would have a lot more trouble getting a piano upstairs than a few years ago. (RIP Barry)

Chuckle Bros -1 - chimp 0
 
Megahurtz400 said:
Thank you, what sort of monkeys were they? Even the little ones are ferociously fast, now imagine that but 60kg people. 60kg of 100% genital smashing, face ripping power.
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Macaque, but I'm not 100% sure on the exact type as there's quite a few and there was more than one type I believe. Varied in size by quite a bit. Yes, the small to mid sized ones can be pretty nasty. 2 of them in one part blocked my path over a bridge due to taking a real disliking to my camera lens. You think it's ok if you just stand still being quiet trying to show you're of no harm, then they start to spit at you, hiss and move closer towards you. It's workable until they then start making lots of noise in the trees around you and 2 quickly becomes 5. In forest areas it's pretty intimidating when you can't see them in the trees then out of nowhere they appear on a path directly in front of you looking less than impressed :D From what I've seen they can be pretty unpredictable. I also saw a large male go to attack a tourist who wasn't particularly even close or doing anything he shouldn't be. He was literally sprinting to get away and luckily did including the thousands worth of camera gear he had on him.
 
Im sure some primate testing scientific research facility will have figured out the force required to knock a chimp out with a blow to the head. Next question is, could a human deliver that force (before having his gonads removes/face eaten etc ..)
 
This video of hairless chimpanzees gives an indication of how swole they actually are. That's functional muscle also, it's like they were designed to run circles around things. I can believe the stories about them dismembering people.

 
Django x2 said:
Hugely. I had little respect for pretend martial arts fighters anyway, but lost all respect when Tenshin got his ass handed to him by Mayweather and ran off crying.
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Oh you mean when a mixed martial artist with only four professional fights fought the greatest boxer the world has ever seen in a boxing match? Sure thing pal....
 
Django x2 said:
MMA is a useless sport made up by poor kids who can't technique fight just to give their street brawl tactics a name and to allow it to become a "sport", so yes, absolutely a Chimp would destroy a self titled MMA fighter.
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Lol nothing like someone making a *** of themselves

How well do you think Mayweather would do in the Octagon? Hint, he wouldn’t last one round.

If you watch Mayweathers ‘fights’ against MMA fighters and use that as a basis for reference then you clearly know nothing about contact combat sports.

As for this thread I was at a zoo (not keen on zoo’s!) and the chimps went mental. The noise, speed and viscousnes was something to see.

Saying that they would lose at MMA as biting someone’s face off and ripping their arms off will get you disqualified.
 
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