Okay that would really suck! None of my friends have partners, although I'm 20.
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
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Thats true, i know how you feel there chap. Also on a different note, Chelmsford is rubbish for a night out.
Andy
Thats true, i know how you feel there chap. Also on a different note, Chelmsford is rubbish for a night out.
Andy
Bwahahaha, thanks for that
Yes it really is pants...Dukes .... well I'm too old for being over 18 for there.
Lloyds .... don't fancy being stabbed / bottled (local chav hangout).
Yates .... grab a gran or be grabbed by a gran
That's the hot spots covered. There is also then the odd pub scattered about.
Heh, been trying PoF on and off. Can't seem to get that first message right so far but I'm working on it.
And my profile too. Just don't know what to say. Either go into a bit of detail about my interests which removes much mystery or say nothing and let the pictures do the talking (ie, it wont work)... Gone for the former at the mo but we'll see.
Ripe old age of 24 so I'm not relying too much on it but I don't get out too much around my way at the moment so it's hard to meet new people.
Well, that and I seem to miss every opportunity I get and only realise afterwards. Which is a pain! But that's life
(For example - Girl lives behind me, liked her since college 6 years ago. Never got a chance to speak but she semi-shouted "Phil!" as I was crossing the road near hers the other month. Thought I imagined it and carried on walking, then heard the door shut... Chance blown, ha)
And my profile too. Just don't know what to say. Either go into a bit of detail about my interests which removes much mystery or say nothing and let the pictures do the talking (ie, it wont work)... Gone for the former at the mo but we'll see.
Ripe old age of 24 so I'm not relying too much on it but I don't get out too much around my way at the moment so it's hard to meet new people.
Well, that and I seem to miss every opportunity I get and only realise afterwards. Which is a pain! But that's life
(For example - Girl lives behind me, liked her since college 6 years ago. Never got a chance to speak but she semi-shouted "Phil!" as I was crossing the road near hers the other month. Thought I imagined it and carried on walking, then heard the door shut... Chance blown, ha)
Well, that and I seem to miss every opportunity I get and only realise afterwards. Which is a pain! But that's life
That sounds so familiar
MW
Bwahahaha, thanks for that
Dukes .... well I'm too old for being over 18 for there.
Lloyds .... don't fancy being stabbed / bottled (local chav hangout).
Yates .... grab a gran or be grabbed by a gran
That's the hot spots covered. There is also then the odd pub scattered about.
LMFAO. That sums the place up pretty much spot on.
Andy
Ok, so this thread is getting INCREDIBLY depressing reading and I really don't have much to be depressed about.
I do empathise with you guys. I know it must be incredibly difficult to meet someone and I am so lucky to have found a girl (at University if you wonder). I would probably be in the same situation if it wasn't for her and the way my life went.
Although, I must say, talking about meeting people in Bars/Clubs is just a no-no (unless you are only after sex). You'd be defying the laws of probability and chance meeting a girl you get on with, find attractive, have things in common, etc at one of these places. Although not impossible and better than no where!
There seems to be a lot of negativity with some of you guys. I think this is the key to your downfall. My experience with women is damn limited, but I'm no fool. If I were a nice girl I wouldn't be interested in the negative guy whos shy to the point of being a social recluse; I'd be interested in the guy who was fairly outgoing, was interesting and was a positive character. It's just a no brainer. For example, don't have a job? Why is that a bad thing? Perhaps you are just waiting for something that you want to come along? Intersted into getting into something different or whatever. It doesn't always have to be "im unemployed, on the dole, sigh".
Therefore, you need to change your thinking if not your whole perspective/outlook to life. Easier said than done though right? - Meh, I'm not so sure. I think I've used this comparison before and I haven't even seen the film, but am aware of the premise of "Yes Man". Jim Carrey, guy who can't say "NO" who gets into wierd/wonderful/exciting situations just through agreeing to everything.
If you think positively and "put yourself out there" enough, your chances of meeting people and possibly a nice girl increase exponentially. Sitting at home, doing nothing, seeing the same old friends with GF's every week at the pub - isn't going to achieve this, where as going out, meeting new people, talking to new people, doing new things will !!!
Again, doing the above requires a bit of confidence, positive thinking and a certain mindest that some people do not have but at the end of the day you have one life so why not make something of it?
So someone thinks you are a bit of a tit when you talk to them randomly? WHO CARES? So what if you ask a random girl for her phone number who'll you'll never see again if she rejects you? WHO CARES?
The flip sides to those situations is that not everyone will think you are a tit and you might meet someone cool out of it, increase friend count one. The other flip side is that the one in 50 times you ask an attractive girl for a number and actually get it - you'll feel like your walking on the moon and you have got yourself somewhere.
This has become a bit of a ramble and was meant to be motivational, has probably all been said before and put better than I have managed. The message, I think, is still valid:
Grab life by the ****ing balls, man up and just get on with it. None of you are too old, none of you are too fat, ugly, skinny, boring. Sign up to some damn social clubs/events, try and meet new people, whatever it takes. There are no excuses at the end of it all, it's all in your head.
If this has come across abusive then I apologise, I'm hoping it's motivated someone at least. Life is what you make of it so just get on it ffs!
I do empathise with you guys. I know it must be incredibly difficult to meet someone and I am so lucky to have found a girl (at University if you wonder). I would probably be in the same situation if it wasn't for her and the way my life went.
Although, I must say, talking about meeting people in Bars/Clubs is just a no-no (unless you are only after sex). You'd be defying the laws of probability and chance meeting a girl you get on with, find attractive, have things in common, etc at one of these places. Although not impossible and better than no where!
There seems to be a lot of negativity with some of you guys. I think this is the key to your downfall. My experience with women is damn limited, but I'm no fool. If I were a nice girl I wouldn't be interested in the negative guy whos shy to the point of being a social recluse; I'd be interested in the guy who was fairly outgoing, was interesting and was a positive character. It's just a no brainer. For example, don't have a job? Why is that a bad thing? Perhaps you are just waiting for something that you want to come along? Intersted into getting into something different or whatever. It doesn't always have to be "im unemployed, on the dole, sigh".
Therefore, you need to change your thinking if not your whole perspective/outlook to life. Easier said than done though right? - Meh, I'm not so sure. I think I've used this comparison before and I haven't even seen the film, but am aware of the premise of "Yes Man". Jim Carrey, guy who can't say "NO" who gets into wierd/wonderful/exciting situations just through agreeing to everything.
If you think positively and "put yourself out there" enough, your chances of meeting people and possibly a nice girl increase exponentially. Sitting at home, doing nothing, seeing the same old friends with GF's every week at the pub - isn't going to achieve this, where as going out, meeting new people, talking to new people, doing new things will !!!
Again, doing the above requires a bit of confidence, positive thinking and a certain mindest that some people do not have but at the end of the day you have one life so why not make something of it?
So someone thinks you are a bit of a tit when you talk to them randomly? WHO CARES? So what if you ask a random girl for her phone number who'll you'll never see again if she rejects you? WHO CARES?
The flip sides to those situations is that not everyone will think you are a tit and you might meet someone cool out of it, increase friend count one. The other flip side is that the one in 50 times you ask an attractive girl for a number and actually get it - you'll feel like your walking on the moon and you have got yourself somewhere.
This has become a bit of a ramble and was meant to be motivational, has probably all been said before and put better than I have managed. The message, I think, is still valid:
Grab life by the ****ing balls, man up and just get on with it. None of you are too old, none of you are too fat, ugly, skinny, boring. Sign up to some damn social clubs/events, try and meet new people, whatever it takes. There are no excuses at the end of it all, it's all in your head.
If this has come across abusive then I apologise, I'm hoping it's motivated someone at least. Life is what you make of it so just get on it ffs!
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Bloody well hope I didn't come across as negative Knubje! (if that is your real name? Heh)
It's something I've thought about a lot but what can you do? No point in getting too down, just raises the occasional chuckle at how oblivious/stupid you've been
EDIT: Oh and Yes Man is a good watch unless you absolutely can't stand Jim Carrey
That sounds so familiar
MW
It's something I've thought about a lot but what can you do? No point in getting too down, just raises the occasional chuckle at how oblivious/stupid you've been
EDIT: Oh and Yes Man is a good watch unless you absolutely can't stand Jim Carrey
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I know you mean well, but I find your post somewhat insulting. I'm not an idiot, and I don't need a lesson in social interaction.
I'd love to see you try and stay positive when your world is slowly becoming a very isolated living Hell. The very reason I'm annoyed with it, is because I have all this drive and ambition to do something with myself but the damn world isn't letting me. All the want and positive thinking in the world isn't going to change that.
Being on the dole is not fun, don't be under any other impression. My social life has died since I returned home from university simply because I do not have any money to ever go out. If you're stuck in, constantly bored and desperate for things to change - you're going to get a little aggitated at the very best of times.
Just because I'm single doesn't suddenly mean that I'm unable to approach or talk to girls either.
You do not have the answers when you do not understand the situation, so try to be a little less brash next time.
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This is good advice and have been told the same thing by numerous people. Other than going to a gym and hitting the same bar and clubs, there arent many other things to do to get out and meet new people where i live. Its extremely difficult. Because i live on such a small island, odds are if i do look a tit and ask for someones number i'll end up bumping into them again along the way and you cant do it too much as you get a name for yourself. Its such a tiny and tight community where everyone knows everybody. It really sucks. I know for a fact id have much more luck if i moved to the mainland, but saying that, i dont know if id really want to leave just to find a girlfriend. Seems too much of an extreme option when i have a great job, property and a loving family right where i am. Theres just that one void of my life that needs filling and id be peachy.
perhaps I should just ask out that girl at work eh?
Yes you should. See, Knubje's advice is sound in a general sense if condensed to the above. To think that it can be applied irrespective of circumstance however, is just daft and short-sighted.
Don't tell me to man the hell up - I'm taking all the world has to throw at me on the chin at the moment!
perhaps I should just ask out that girl at work eh?
Could get awkward if she says no, with her being a colleague you see daily, but sod it
This = me!
(Well it will be on my birthday in August
)On a slightly lighter note, I fired off a salvo of messages on OkCupid the other day... got 2 messages back but they are both really short?! Like literally about 3 short sentences. One of them sounded really uninterested (replied to my Q's but didn't ask me anything) in which case what was the point in replying
the other chick sounded a bit more keen, but again not particularly talkative...Maybe I just have verbal diarrhoea?!
Su
Is that the done things these days, plan to meet more than one person in such a short space of time, before you've even met the first?
What if you really like the first one, have to break it up with the others?
Then you'll probably see posts from other people saying;
"We planned a meeting but he/she backed out at the last minute...I don't know why?
Poor people!
well in my defence this seems to be the norm for most guys. If i really like the first one then i will arrange to see him again and get to know him more. with the Kiwi he said he would be away for roughly a month but would email when he got back and we could pick up where we left off if i wanted to. So we havent officially said yes we will definitely meet, just it would be nice to.
before i joined match i randomly met a guy in the pub. i was on dating direct and chatting to a few people but no dates were discussed. After a few weeks of getting to know the pub guy i left dating direct because he gave me the impression it was going somewhere.
he then became very distant and i dont think it was because i was being clingy. i wasnt texting him every day just every 3/4 days if i hadn't heard from him.
then he finally became more chatty and i find out he's also being seeing another girl. oh and sleeping with her. he said he had stopped seeing her as didnt like her that way and asked me to think if i still wanted to see him. then in less than a few hours he changed his mind and said he didnt think he was ready for a relationship even though he told me he was looking for one. I wasnt asking for one straight away i just wanted to get to know him more. so i ended up leaving quite a few nice guys on dating direct for someone who was just another jerk
im not going to sleep about with these guys because thats just not who i am. im just meeting them to get to know them better. im sure im not the only girl they're emailing.
(btw this isn't meant to come across as snappy im just trying to explain
)
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Nix,
You still Southend bound?
I've noticed over the last few weeks with your post, you seem/are somewhat depressed - out of work, and somewhat of a loner in many respects.
However, getting work in Southend is pretty easy, are you aiming to high? A job is a job - the amount of Call Centres we have around will a) provide you with money and a job, and b) provide you with an almost endless supply of women!!
Serious we are forever recruiting at our place, and its like an assortment of gorgeous, and really nice (i.e. friendly) girls!
Appreciate Call Centre work is boring as, but if you stick at it you can move around within the banks, exactly what I did after Uni.
Yep. That's a huge part of the problem.
I have friends around, but my social life has effectively died due to always being skint. I have nothing to ever look forward to and there is no end in sight. I'm not depressed (I've been depressed so trust me, I'd know), I'm just bloody frustrated. That and I absolutely hate this town and coming back was one of the last things I wanted to do. Many of my old friends who were around before uni, aren't here any more and I haven't exactly had the chance to meet many new faces.
It's really not at the moment. I've applied to anything and everything and I keep getting shunned. My problem is every job seems to want around 3-4 years full-time experience which I obviously lack. It's an employers market, and I'm getting no where. I start a work placement (unpaid) which I've managed to sort out soon though, so I'm hoping that will start to improve things a little.
Mate, I've applied to Lloyds on around three seperate occassions through the agencies - I never hear back! Seriously, if you can swing me an interview, I'd be there in a shot!
Work is work at the moment. Literally, I'm in limbo until I start earning. I want my life back!
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